I cannot access my regular blog while my usual computer is having surgery fixing its screen. So, this arena must suffice to carry my thoughts, which I prefer to keep separate from my writing – though I can’t really explain the logic behind doing that….
Lately, I’ve been considering the concept of being “an academic” and what exactly that means, looks like or embodies. I like to study, research, read. I love literature and absorb classic novels like water to a sponge. Yet, I cannot quote Shakespeare, recite famous poems or discuss the great literary theories whilst sipping a lovely Merlot (though I can definitely use some Merlot!). To me, it’s cliche to be the “literary” or “academic” who does this and yet it’s this persona that mocks cliches. A bit of a paradox, I say.
So, I wonder though, do I need to learn to play the role? Should I at last learn to act and finally participate in the game under the “normed” rules of society so that I might truly succeed?
Until now, I’ve generally succeeded in this game of life. Until now, I’ve basically seen my efforts pay off, some say it’s because I have not embraced the stereotypes that surround a person like me, with the interests that I have. Yet, I find myself wanting more, deserving more…and so I wonder, do I need to return to basic training and learn to speak, walk and live as an academic, an intellectual, a person of knowledge and wisdom so that I might achieve what I desire? Or will I be selling out somehow…?
-T
