I was awaken this morning by my awesome parents who called to wish me a Happy Birthday. THANK YOU! π
It’s hard to believe I’m 34 today. It’s hard to believe that I’ve been in my family for 26 years! It’s hard to believe I’ve still got friends for the same amount of time. Truly, truly I’ve been blessed and I have no complaints about my life.
Yet, in my joy is a shadow that has always remained. Every year on this day, my mind wanders to another country, another family, another woman…. Does she think about me on this day? Does she secretly wish me a Happy Birthday in her heart? Or am I a memory that has been forgotten or ignored? Would she be proud of me as my parents are? Would she feel I have fulfilled all her hopes when she decided to give me up?
How can I at 34-years-old still feel like the abandoned child? I’ve got it good. I’ve got it great, in fact! I’m not denying that – but neither can I deny the effects of the past….
So, in my own way of remembering the woman who gave me life on this day, I got up and made mandu.
Mandu!
Last year, I celebrated with a Korean meal at a restaurant in Dubai with a friend. Today, I will perhaps make my own Korean meal and accept another year has passed and thank my birth mother for putting me on the path that has led me to this wonderful life of mine, while secretly hoping she can feel my thoughts on this day.
-T
