As the day to return to work draws nearer, I find myself feeling a little depressed. It’s not that I oppose working, or even that the job itself is bad. I mean, really, how can I complain about having the holidays that I have?? So, I have been trying to sort out why I seem to have this down feeling when I actually used to like preparing to head to work.
At the moment there are no conclusions in terms of the job itself, ie what could I do or how could the job be more interesting. I suppose a list could be made that goes miles – like with any particular job.
All I can really come up with is within myself –
My dream is to write. Write blogs, write stories, write novels, etc. I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was 8-years-old. Yet, I’ve never really made a proper push to do this since I need money. So, I look for places to write, but time, work and other parts of life get in the way so that I cannot maintain a writing schedule…. Only my fault really, but maybe I’m not yet ready…?
This week I have been setting small goals each day to work on completing a research project that I started over three years ago. I received a grant to work on it almost three years ago and have yet to finish it. If I complete it before I begin my dissertation research, I can try to publish it and use it as background information. If I don’t, then I will have wasted money, time and energy because it can’t be used and it will be a black mark on my mind on not completing something I’ve started. As I do this work, I realize that I would enjoy having a research job where I don’t have to deal with many people, collect a bit of data and then analyze it. It’s almost more interesting than what I do normally and it is definitely a ton less stressful than classroom management, meetings, lesson planning, marking, etc.
So, I find myself considering a career change. But, do I try both? Do I have to choose one? Will I really do it?
Hard to say as the grass is always greener and right now my grass is pretty darn green if I take the time to really look at… π
