I’ve taken the last couple of days to relax and spend time with our visitor, but it’s time now to get to work as the list isn’t going to get any shorter the more I relax.
The one good thing is that I have been exercising more, which has been much needed.
Anyway, sadly that’s all there is to share at the moment. π
I know I am totally spoiled when I am so happy to be on vacation yet again after just a month ago having had a week off. π
But, I tell ya’ it still feels like it’s been ages and the past month has had me running on hyper-speed, it seems. So, I’m taking the vacation time and loving it!
However, I have a very long list of things to do over the break:
*send out surveys to begin the data collection phase of my PhD (to be done tomorrow)
*organize materials from my current 010 course
*revise and organize materials for a content course (similar to the one I taught in Japan, but needs updating and revision for my students now)
*go through existing materials and begin to organize for next semester’s 020 course – which I will also be co-coordinating for the next year…
*read about 12 books for my literature review
*plan my spring break trip (mixing business with pleasure)
*write Christmas cards and mail them
*send gifts online
*be a good ‘in-law’ for our visitor over the next two weeks
So, as I try to also ensure some R&R time, I’ve got plenty to keep me out of trouble and to not take being on vacay for granted. π
As much as I appreciate the sentiment behind these words, they still require me to hold back anger and to clam up in sharing more about me as an adoptee.
First of all, to say I’m lucky because my birth family gave me up or because I finally found a loving home is a bit superficial. I would say that it was good luck that I was adopted by my family because for me no other family would have done. We were lucky to be put into each other’s lives since our circumstances were what they were.
However, my family didn’t really chose me. I didn’t really chose them. It’s not like we’re God’s chosen people to inherit the land – us adoptees – either we didn’t have a choice, didn’t know/feel we had a choice, or feared a different choice. That’s what brought us to our adoptive families and made us stay. If we had one or had known or didn’t fear, then we might have made different ones.
Of course, I’m not taking for granted my adoptive family’s love and our bond. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. But, for those who don’t really understand what it’s like, please, I beg you, don’t tell us we’re lucky we were chosen as if God is promising us paradise.
My lovely writing streak has fallen apart, but that’s okay. It’s been a little bit hectic, but at the same time not really around here.
Although it is not yet the end of the semester here, with the upcoming three-week holiday, there is a lot going on this week with events, exams and meetings at work. So, that’s the busy part, I guess.
At home, I am mostly relaxing. Though, we are also preparing for R’s mom’s visit over the holiday. She arrives tonight! π So, it will be fun, but perhaps also busy.
There are other matters on which to write about, but will save that for when I have more time.
Until next time,
T
_Letters to a Young Teacher_ by Jonathan Kozol
I don’t really know if this counts as pleasure reading, but most of my reading lately consists of journal articles or primary sources for my dissertation topic. However, as I was perusing our library at ZU, I found this book. Since I had read _Savage Inequalities_ by Kozol before, I thought it would be interesting to read.
It did not disappoint. Kozol puts together a collection of his correspondences to a young teacher named Francesca. What was interesting was that the same issues that Kozol dealt with as a new teacher in the ’60s are still in existence today. How is that possible?
Also, I noted an underlying comment on the type of teacher that matters to students, parents, and the system. There’s a quality of caring, empathy and sacrifice in the kind of teacher who truly reaches out and wants to make a difference in the lives of his/her students. Sometimes I forget that I used to be that kind of person. It’s so easy to let the world, our workplace, colleagues, etc. to get us down about wanting to make a difference. However, holding on to that optimism and ideals is really needed to truly succeed….
It’s time to dig that person out and let her shine! π
When you try to prove you are right do you throw out some outrageous statistic that hasn’t been proven just to convince the other person how wrong s/he is? Then, in the next breath would you discount any counterargument made in reference to a difference in expectations/communication styles between men and women, which is actually a proven fact by experts?
Situation 1:
If a man decides he is finished with an argument, then he is finished. If a woman says she is finished with an argument, then she is done discussing it, but without a doubt it will take her some time to process and release the emotions and tension the argument brought up. However, both are done with the argument – just the response time differs. Is one better than the other? Or could we say that this is a reasonable difference between the genders? Would 9 out ten men say I am wrong? Would 9 out ten women say I am right?
Situation 2:
If a person calls another childish and compares communication styles with one as ‘acting like an adult’ because he has decided to move on and the other as ‘acting like a child’ because she hasn’t yet moved on and is being pushed to anyway, would 9 out of ten people say it is unreasonable to be offended at being called the child? Would 9 out of ten people perhaps be able to say this is merely a difference in communication styles and one does not have to be better than the other?
Situation 3:
If a person consistently lays down in the passenger seat of the car when you are driving and does not express his feelings of tiredness or bad attitude, is it reasonable that the driver would possibly take it personally? Or would 9 out of ten people say that the driver should just get over it and know that it’s not personal?
While every argument could be called merely a ‘heated discussion’, it is always interesting to see what kind of debating/communication styles take over. Everyone always thinks s/he is on the correct side of the argument, when the truth and correctness is generally somewhere in the middle. No one likes to be ‘wrong’ and yet it’s so easy to diminish another person’s feelings by saying “You just don’t like to be wrong, so yes you are right.”
Also, how is it that when you want someone to use words to express their feelings such as “I love you” or “I appreciate you”, it sounds cliche or pathetic because you should just know how s/he feels, but it is so easy for that person to express their disappointment in you…?
Words can be weapons. Actions can speak louder than words. Yet, a balanced mix of both can be priceless.
Too tired to write anything significant the past day or so…. More to come this weekend. π
A friend of mine wrote a really lovely post on his blog about his struggle with depression.
As a fellow sufferer of bouts of depression and dealing with my own “un-labeled” or self-diagnosed bipolar I or preferably called “ups and downs”, I really appreciate it when I find people sharing their own stories.
Today my students asked me what I would like to do for a ‘real’ or rather dream job. I said I would like to write novels. They asked me why. I tried to explain how when I was young I felt so alone in my experiences and as I read/meet/talk with more adoptees and their stories, I realize how we all felt/feel alone in our experience. Add to the adoption issue, my own experiences and well, one might understand how depression might be a part of my life.
If someone had written his/her story and I had been able to read it, then perhaps I wouldn’t have felt so alone. So, I still want to pursue my writing and I believe that I can write a story well enough.
Just need time and more discipline….
Why wait until the new year to start re-evaluating and preparing to re-align my life goals? Since I don’t like to call them resolutions as it just tends to set me up for failure, I do like to take a step back from the path I am on to see if it is heading in the right direction or if I have allowed it to veer off a bit.
So, I am taking stock.
Of course, as I reflect and introspect, I must also assess my feelings and sense of identity. Along with this comes some shedding of the negatives so that I can focus on the positives. I think I’m passing through the negative zone alright, but I do realize that I might have quite a bit bottled up inside of me that I allow to be pushed down with distractions like the computer, work, study, tv, etc. So, perhaps I need to focus more on writing and expressing so that a time-bomb doesn’t form…. π
Anyway, that’s today’s thought/thinking. π
In an email that I received last week, the writer made a comment about how she thinks Facebook andΒ other such media affect people’s patience and ability to write or think. It made me think about the amount of time I spend on the computer and watching TV rather than reading or writing like I used to. It’s been since I came to the UAE that I spend so much more time away from what I really love – a good book and pen and paper!
So, this weekend, I attempted to test out this theory and spent some time reading a book I only read at night to go to sleep. It somehow triggered some thinking and creativity in me. Thus, I ended up writing a couple of ‘letters’ for a memoir-like novel I am writing. Here it is:
