Creative Meanderings

Yesterday, I hit a little slump. However, I think I’m over it now – not sure just yet. 😉

There were a number of things that hit me for some reason….

*Change to my schedule at work – I really do not do well with sudden changes. It unsettles me at my core. Of course, I like to think I am flexible or open-minded, but am I? I guess it depends on what it is. I’m pretty flexible and open-minded with people. I generally do not expect much (at least not any more). However, my time is something I tend to be more controlling over and so when it requires alterations I’m a bit unnerved.

*Influences of others – For a while now I have really been trying to sort out what I get from people in my life. It’s always good to reflect and after ending a four-year relationship it is a natural reaction to figuring out what happened and how the past four years have affected me. I find that I am drained at times being around others. Although most of my relationships seem balanced, they really are not – or at least not enough for me. I need more and need to learn how to demand it. Perhaps the truth is that I need to spend less time with others and more time with me…?

*Fear of both being alone and being in a relationship again – I am very independent. I like my alone time. I like my things to be just right. Having cats has slightly altered that, but in general, I like my space A LOT! However, I also like being with someone. I enjoy companionship as most normal people should and do. Still, I want more in a relationship than I have perhaps ever had. I no longer feel guilty about that nor do I feel as if it is over-reaching. In the past I have settled for almost or good enough. This time I don’t think that I should or can. Now, that’s not to say that I am too picky, because I don’t think that is the case. However, I do need someone giving and taking on an equal level (maybe even giving a little bit more just to me! 😉 ) So, there’s a fear that I’ll be alone forever coupled with the fear of losing myself in a relationship again. Can you say bipolar?! (Oh wait, I am! haha)

Anyway, those are the top three at the moment. Now that I recognize them and acknowledge them, I know how to climb up the other side of the slump and feel victorious!!!

-T 😀

It was the kind of weekend I really needed after last week.

Friday –
*Had a morning coaching session planned, but rescheduled so I watched some Ted talks and relaxed
*Went to yoga and felt really good
*Went to the mall for my nail appointment, had Argo tea afterwards – I love that place!
*Relaxed in the evening waiting for new CSers to arrive and my friend for dinner
*Had a fun evening!

Saturday –
*Slept in!!! (until nearly 7 – okay I was awake around 5.30 and dozed until finally getting up just before 7)
*Had breakfast, and waited for the cleaner to arrive
*While the cleaner did her thing, I went to the pool and swam 20 laps and soaked up some sun
*Cleaned up and met a friend for a wonderful catch up over lunch
*Headed to the mall and found some white shoes and got suckered into buying a really cute little purse… 😐
*Tried to get my teeth cleaned, but had an insurance glitch (the only annoying part of the weekend!)
*Went to a friend’s for dinner
*Came home early and relaxed before bed

A very full and fulfilling weekend!!! 😀

-T

The week really flew by, but still I am soooooo glad it is nearly over.

I feel as if I have been in a whirlwind at work – putting in way too many hours for very little gain. So, I need to re-sort myself out with that one. Nothing matters that much is my mantra! 😉

My personal life has been full this week as well. So, my plan is to take it a little easier next week and try to focus more on my other work.

Overall, I’ve got no complaints. I’m just a little bit tired and hope to relax a lot this week to recoup. 🙂

-T 😀