It has been gnawing at me as to why I am irritated with the people staying with me – or rather the husband. He’s lovely – no doubt. Yet, each time he talks to me I feel annoyance. This morning, it dawned on me or at least became a little bit clearer:
*I am not good with meaningless conversation. I do not like to talk about the weather, especially when I live or experienced the exact same weather. Yes, I know it’s hot and humid here…. I do not like to be told the obvious – I can see for myself that today is clear, but yesterday was sandy from the storm. These kinds of conversations have no value to me and yet I realize that they are part of life. I need to switch my brain to appreciate this more as there must be something in it if 90% of the people in the world have these kinds of conversations…, right?
*I am not good with different levels of what I call ‘respectful’. For example, you are staying in my home for free. I have offered for you to ‘make yourself’ at home by using my water or drinking my “above-average-priced” coffee. If you see that you have finished my water and I told you that there will be no more water until the day you leave (7 days later!), then if I were you, I would have bought some bottles of water to contribute to the home’s water supply. Or, if you decide to have coffee two or three times a day and notice that my full container of pods has diminished to half within four days, if I were you, I would find out how to replace your coffee pods. Now, I know, people aren’t me and if I don’t want stuff to be used then I shouldn’t offer or open my home. However, it’s not that I don’t want it used – it’s that I want there to be respect for the fact that you are staying in my home for free and consuming my things for free – everything has a cost – and you have no concern for the consumption of my things FOR FREE! I’m paying the air conditioner for your cooling. I’m paying the water bill for your cleansing. I’m paying for the water for your drinking. I’m paying for the coffee for your enjoyment. You are receiving all of this for FREE for seven days!!!!!! Don’t you think you should stop and think about how to give back forΒ what you have received?
Maybe they will to someone else and I will just never know what my giving has contributed to some greater good. However, at the moment, all I feel stress about it and am looking forward to having my space again.
That’s the end of my selfish ranting. I shouldn’t be so, but it’s my current perspective and state of mind, unfortunately…. :*(
More positive stuff to come,
~T π
