Getting different perspectives and opinions can be a challenging thing as everyone means well in their advice, they may even be correct in what they say and yet, they are not in my/our shoes.
Yesterday, I posted about being more optimistic and coming to a compromise about our decisions. This has not really changed, yet just one conversation can make me rethink how I was feeling just 24 hours before.
There does come a time when over thinking can cause problems. Even though others’ opinions are so valued and loved, I have to be careful about letting them sway me or causing disruptions in the agreements made at home between the two people who are directly affected by these thoughts.
Probably, the biggest problem is although we have choices, we do not have definite options. In other words, while we can argue/discuss going to the Philippines, France, Japan or elsewhere we only speculate with this choices. Neither of us actually have jobs, neither of us have the funds to make the move happen, only one of us has the freedom to even go anywhere at the moment, and so it is a little bit like being in quicksand. If we move one way, it may sink us deeper; if we do not move at all, it will not improve our situation; we are holding on barely to a thin stick that may or may not have enough solidity for us to pull ourselves out….
So, I am trying to create other options. I am applying for freelance writing work in hopes that one of those will turn into something long-term with a steady income. I am looking at possible jobs in Nice, or even Japan (despite M’s preference elsewhere). Until we actually have options to choose from, we only through out a lot of possible choices with no backing. It is meaningless to have arguments/discussions on what-ifs.
Therefore, rather than over thinking, it is time to think over what we can do. Also, there is something to be said for a little more patience.
I was writing in my journal today questions of “How long…”. How long do we hope everything will work out? How long do I wait to look for full-time work? How long do I simply have faith that my husband will make the income we need? How long does it take to realize we need to try something else? How long…. The facetious answer is: As long as it takes. The realistic answer is: Until it does. The optimistic answer is: It will soon. Somewhere in these answers lies the combination of truth….
We are truly in the hands of God and the Universe to throw us a solid bone that tells us what to do and where to go.
Until then, breathe in – breathe out, and smile!
~T π
