Creative Meanderings

In high school a close friend of mine’s boyfriend was in a serious motorcycle accident. He was the brother of another close childhood friend. I was going to my girl friend’s house when her parents told me about the accident and that she was down near our local store.

I went and picked her up; took her to the hospital and waited with her to make decisions that could not be waited on until his parents arrived to make due to the severity of his injuries. Luckily, he made a fairly full recovery and leads a happy life (as far as I know) now.

During that time, though, I went into ‘calm’ mode and never got emotionally involved despite my friend’s tears and worry. Her dad asked me if I thought about being a doctor as I had a good head and bedside manner. I said I had thought about it, but the years of schooling turned me off….

Often I can judge people according to a question of: “Would I want this person to be on a lifeboat with me?”

Those who get panicky, become overly aggressive, whine or only state negatives would immediately be thrown off my boat. Having level-headed, calm and proactive people are the type of people I like to have around me in times of trouble.

This weekend, one of our yogimates hurt her ankle as she stepped off a sidewalk suddenly. She swears she heard a snap and the pain was initially immediate. While it was likely that it was just a short-term pain and discomfort, she needed to go to the hospital to get an x-ray and check it out just in case it could have gotten worse. She had been with someone at the time and was in that person’s car, so it seemed best that that person take her to the hospital and be with her.

However, in the end, I went to the hospital to be with her because the other person reacted so strongly and negatively, which ultimately affected everyone during the day in the training class.

Of course, everyone is human and responds to emergencies in different ways. It is not a fault per se if someone takes on stress and does not know how to cope accordingly. However, I was reminded again of the gift of being able to emotionally detach, remain calm and take care of a situation. It is later that I cope or am affected.

In the end, all was fine. Our yogimate’s ankle is fine though she is being careful with it for a few days. <3

Still, in a state of emergency, I have a clearer idea of who could stay on the lifeboat! 😛

~T 😀

I seem to be having respect issues with my husband. It is not a really serious one, but it is something that I will be keeping my eye on and seems to relate to my posts this week.

When someone works in a predominantly male environment where ‘man-talk’ is the norm I can understand that it might be difficult to draw the lines between work and home. Now I am a fairly open and liberal woman who does not quite take offense to the locker room talk. Still, I do not want to be objectified by anyone even under the guise of my husband’s adoration.

As someone who listens to a lot of true crime podcasts and watches similar TV shows, I am often struck by the lack of respect that men have towards women or even vice versa in rare cases. We find small ways to justify slightly skewed ways of speaking to one another or judgmental comments about body image. Yet, all of this is about respect.

So, yesterday my man was having a very bad day. I called to check in on him and he immediately began to yell at me over the phone to “leave him alone”. Well, mid-tirade I simply hung up. I was having a great day and in a rare good mood. Nothing and no one was going to mess that up for me.

Therefore, I chose not to speak to him again. He could have sent me a message at any point during the day to apologize or express love, but he did not. He chose to call me when I was in the middle of my lessons, so I could not speak with him. Then, he tried to justify his lack of apology and communication with “I tried to call you.”

Well, this does not pass for me because everyone who knows me knows that I rarely – if ever – answer my phone nor prefer to talk on it. Also, he would have known that I had lessons at that time and chose to call then. Finally, he knows that a simple message of “sorry, let’s talk later” or something to this effect will be enough to appease me. Thus, I felt it was more a matter of a lack of respect – lack of respect for me as a person, his wife, etc. He claims he was truly sorry, but I don’t know.

The point is that, for whatever reason, I no longer feel the need to accept the small justifications no matter whom I feel is disrespecting me. I have respect for myself and no one is allowed to treat me otherwise.

~T 😀