Our current political climate feels as if we have gone back in time to an era when women were objectified and respected for how they best serve their men. However, this feeling that we have gone backwards is a lie. The truth is that we never progressed. Instead, we merely sugar-coated, appeased and pretended that women have made progress in the world.
Sure, women have much more freedom than they ever had. Women hold more important leadership positions and are recognized more than they were before. Yet, when you hear the everyday conversations around you, I wonder just how much we have progressed.
How often do you hear a conversation about a man that centers around what he was wearing, his current mood or contemplation if he is in his time of the month? How often are men even second-guessed for what they have said or done? How often are men judged on his attitude or looks?
The other day my own husband said in response to me suggesting he find me a job as a PA was “well, I doubt that anyone wants a PA who is sourly….” Although said in some jest, I was greatly offended. First of all, I am not sourly especially in a professional setting. Secondly, my professional CV has often been remarked as being “impressive” – yet my own husband judges on my mood.
Furthermore, the world is still very much a man’s world. No one can convince me that women have it good in this society. Women are not appreciated for what they do for their men unless it is to be beautiful arm decoration, eye candy or the like. Constant comments on how well a woman is ageing or looks in the workplace is often brought home to be replicated in the home….
I am not a woman of the past. Now, I am a woman taught to be supportive of her husband and to work as a team in the partnership of marriage. Being in my second marriage, I am also more careful than I was in my first about the concerns, issues and decisions of my husband. However, I do not necessarily believe that one of us is the head of the household but rather that we trade off taking the lead as partners do.
This means that I also might comment on my man’s looks, moods, and so on – just as he does with me. The difference is that I believe that I am respectful about how I do it with an appreciation of who he is. Perhaps he would disagree. Perhaps it feels differently because I am a woman and he is a man, so when a man objectifies a woman it comes with all those stereotypical connotations of men being men.
Either way, the fact is that times have not really changed despite our pretense that they have….
~T π
