This year is the year of writing for me. To achieve my writing goals, I must also take on the task of revisiting my past through memories, paperwork, and quite possibly interactions.
It is always interesting to observe how the Universe works when one opens up to the possibility of whatever may come. Although I have not specifically asked for help with my biological family search, I have always left it to the fates of timing to reveal what I should know, or what direction to go, when deemed ready to do so.
Toward the end of last year, I watched a talk about the role of DNA testing in connecting families. I also saw a film that documented Chinese adoptees searching, and some connecting in what seemed like impossible circumstances to their birth families. So, I began to rethink the wall that I had hit in my own search.
My first step in trying to scale that wall was to finally contact the original adoption agency that was involved in bringing me over from Korea to Oregon. With the help of my first foster mother in Oregon, who had told me years ago to do this, and my mom, I put in my request and waited.
Then, yesterday morning, I had the wonderful opportunity to speak with someone on behalf of the platform. She has become deeply involved in helping overseas Korean adoptees search, advocate, and find biological families, as well as work to recognize the human right of adoptees to know their origins.
As I spoke to her about my own story, she verified a growing acceptance that it sounds as if I was a fill-in for the adoption papers I have. This would explain why the family with my birth mother’s name on my paperwork do not match with my DNA. She offered to look at the Korean paperwork that I have and see if there is any hidden information that didn’t get translated or is lost in it.
Coincidentally, if you believe in it, I also received a reply from Plan International (now Choice Adoptions) to further my request for my paperwork.
So, experience has taught me that when more than one sign is given on the same topic, I should follow it.
In following, I find that the timing of also writing my story into a fictional novel is…well, timely.
As I write, I will need to consider how the story will continue to unfold and if what I write should follow what actually happens despite it being a fictional story. Or, will the act of writing it also create a parallel reality for me? The truth is that my novel is based on my life as an adoptee, but not necessarily IS about my life. Still, I know that I must tread lightly and find balance in the pursuit of my truth and the creation of another.
This space will likely serve as a coping arena as I work through the process of both paths that I am committed to following. Hope you’re looking forward to it as much as I!
~T π
