Jul 012024
 

When I was younger, I really had no interest in celebrating my birthday. It seemed like an unnecessary moment of bringing attention to myself, which was something that I actively spent time on avoiding. If I was not noticed, I would not get unwanted attention from leery male eyes. If I was not noticed, I may not get moved around to a new home. If I was not noticed, I could pretend that I was just like everyone else around me rather than the one who was different – in looks, in life experiences, in what felt like everything.

There was a period of time when people actually forgot my birthday unless it was announced on social media or someone told them. Even my parents forgot it was my birthday for a few years since I lived abroad – I had to fight the urge to believe that “out of sight out of mind” wasn’t a truth. 😳 For the most part, I didn’t mind, but I admit that it hurt when those closest to me didn’t remember. As I’m not the type to tell others that it is my birthday, I let it slide. I love them all anyway (plus, they’ve redeemed themselves many times over since 🤪).

Perhaps it was when I met M or some time around then that I began to think that it was OK to celebrate and let others celebrate me.

In fact, I almost always remember everyone else’s birthdays. For many years, I would make an effort to reach out, send cards or gifts to almost everyone I could to let them know that I cherished their life and presence in this world. I’ve never taken for granted that people cross my life path for a reason and that I appreciate them as there are plenty in my early days of life whom I cannot recall or never really knew well enough to make note of their days of birth.

These days, though, I save my messages and gifts for a select few. I no longer have a need to stay connected to everyone. Part of me got a little jaded by those who never return the acknowledgement unless told to – thus I NEVER reply to people who post well wishes on social media after it is made known to them…I think it’s a copout and too easy since they wouldn’t have said anything otherwise. I know, it probably sounds terribly selfish, but welcome to the “I’m in my 40’s and don’t care” era!

Anyway, back to MY birthday – obviously. 😬🫢

As long as we have been together, M has always made my birthday special. Whether it has been in small acts or big ones, he knows how to make me feel worthy of celebrating my existence in this world.

This year was no different! It seems I forgot to share and post about last year, so I have been reprimanded sufficiently to make sure that I get on here all the joy and fun that I had in saying “cheers” to year 48!

We kicked it off with a “small” BBQ party with friends at our home. My BFF and godson were here to help celebrate and my local friends really outdid themselves in making me feel extra special (seems I don’t have photos at the moment of that event…).

Then, M and I spent a fabulous 4 days and nights in Paris where we did some sightseeing, saw Le Crazy Horse cabaret show, went shopping, and most importantly, got a lot of rest after a busy month or so. While Paris has not generally been my favorite place to go, I got a better appreciation for the city this time. It was nice to wander around and take in the different neighborhoods (arrondisements). So, here are some photos. I look forward to visiting the French capital again soon.

Here’s to another amazing year of this grand ol’ life of mine!

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Jun 282022
 

Yesterday was my birthday. I’m pretty laidback about celebrating, but I do love a bit of a party the older I get. 😛

So, on Sunday, we had a little get together with new friends for a late lunch in the very toasty and humid weather. It was a lovely afternoon spent chatting, laughing, and generally being merry.

I love fresh flowers – and I got two beautiful bouquets of them!

Also, I had not cut my hair short since pre-pandemic. I had a bit of a touchup and color when I first arrived in Italy, but otherwise it was on a growth momentum. I was avoiding a short cut as I have this thing against potentially looking like a middle-aged Asian lady. So, I was going for the young Asian lady look – 😅. However, the heat and having to do something with it everyday was starting to get boring. After some encouragement from M and a bit of time spent on Pinterest, I found a look that I felt was safe.

Then, I also decided to go wild and bleach it blonde-ish. This is what it looks like!

So, 46 is starting off with a new look, refreshed perspective on life, and a lot of good times – plus there has been a lot of cake 🎂! 🥳

~T 🔥🐉♋︎

Jun 272021
 

With the average lifespan of a woman being about 81.1 years according to 2020 stats, I’m more than halfway through my walk on earth. However, I consider myself good to at least 90 or so; therefore, I shall call this year mid-life.

There’s no crisis in thought like there was around my 40th when M mentioned that I had another 40 years to go. The past five years have given me perspective with the last two or so really providing me the ability to appreciate my life so far.

Someone told me recently that I must feel so wise and experienced compared to others after I had given her a brief on how I’ve spent my adult life so far and the choices, either made for me or by me, that led me to where I am today. I replied that it is not a hierarchy or about comparing. We are all handed a certain deck and it’s all about how we play them, which can be somewhat based on luck of circumstances as well as how we create our own realities.

For me, I’m certain I was born with my stubborn streak. My baby “resting bitch face” pretty much makes that clear. 😬

My “luck” was that I was provided with influences early on in life that weren’t what one would consider to be the most positive, so my stubborn streak guided me toward being “good”. After all, I have been told my Korean name “Sun Hui” means “good girl”. However, the truth is that I could have just as easily gone the other way had I not been naturally inclined to contrariness. 🤪

In any case, I sit today in pure contentment with my life. As I write, there is a soft breeze blowing in the perfectly tempered sunny afternoon of southern France. I spent the day by the pool in the company of my love 😍 at the easy pace of zero expectation. After a week full of activity and birthday celebrations that started early due to plans that remain fluid, as always, it has been an amazing day of quiet 🤫.

The thing is, upon reflection, it has not been an easy journey to get to this place of peace and calm (and continues to be a daily balancing act). While I am very grateful for the ability to lead the life we lead, I do not underestimate or devalue my own participation in creating the lifestyle of my dreams.

It hasn’t been all sunshine ☀️ and champagne 🍾 .

When I hear others talk about the things they want in life or envy the life I have, but are in the next breath unwilling to sacrifice, compromise, or persist in the activities and mindset required to make their hopes and dreams a reality, I am dismayed and disappointed. We are all fully capable of creating the kind of world we want to live in. It is easy to complain or give excuses or blame others for the reasons why we aren’t living the life that we want, but an honest look at ourselves will probably reveal the unwanted truth of our own responsibility, fear, and laziness in why we are discontent. We need to own that truth and decide what we want to do about it.

One thing I have never fully been able to understand is the mentality that many I have come across in my life hold of the world owing us something. Sometimes, that ‘world’ is attributed to parents or friends or people of our past. Although we are beholden to others when we are children, as adults all of that responsibility becomes our own. Dwelling in the what-ifs or finger-pointing is a complete cop-out to me. Every one of us (in the fairly privileged first and second worlds at least) have the ability to change our lives.

If we want to have more money, then we have two choices – change our jobs or work more jobs. If we want to have more free time, then we have two choices – accept having less money or make more money to provide the ability to work less. Whatever it is we want, there are basically two choices – do something about it so that we can have it or accept that we don’t/can’t have it.

No one else is responsible for those choices or wants. Once we have our basic needs met, everything else is on us.

This is how I have led my life.

I didn’t want to stay in Oregon after finishing university because I realized there was a whole world out there I knew nothing about. I hated Japan when I visited, but my options at the time were to go back to Japan or stay in Oregon. I didn’t want to continue being married to the man I had committed to after realizing that he wasn’t going to be husband I deserved. I hated the thought of divorce, but I hated the thought of living life being miserable even more. I didn’t want to become an English language educator because I had imagined a different career. However, I wanted to travel and I didn’t necessarily want to spend more than a couple of years training or working my way up to be able to travel and see the world as I have. I didn’t necessarily want to get married again because a legal document does not make a committed relationship. Yet, upon finding the person I could see myself growing old happily with, I preferred to compromise than be alone or in less contented relationships in the future.

Life could easily have been different. It is not hard to justify an argument that I entered life with a rough start. It would have been easy enough to blame my birth mother, my temporary families that abused and traumatized me, my seemingly unlucky start to life. I could have taken a different road and view of the world. However, thanks to my stubbornness and a bit of lucky elements I have survived and worked very hard for this 45th birthday of contentment.

No sad piggy tears for me!

~T 😀

Jan 182021
 

We had a number of different variation of how my “old man” would ring in the new decade at half a century years old. However, none of those came to fruition thanks to the changes in COVID-19 (shame it was 20, huh?).

Even as it was, we were technically in violation of lockdown rules when we snuck over the border to get to Monaco.

More images on Instagram @footnersinfrance

Since it was a big birthday, we splashed out to tick off one of M’s bucket list items – to stay in the Hotel de Paris Monte Carlo.

Hotel de Paris Monte Carlo behind on the right with the Monte Carlo Casino on the left

It was a lovely area to walk around and enjoy the festive spirit of Christmas as well as a birthday.

I’ll let the rest be told in images:

We are hoping to make another visit, as it’s about 2.5 hours from where we are now, when the weather is nicer. Though, the budget will be smaller, so perhaps a little less fancy. 😛

~T 😀

Jun 272016
 

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05-May-2016 22:02, Apple iPhone 6s Plus, 2.2, 4.15mm, 0.03 sec, ISO 40
 

Wow, I have reached a milestone in life – the 40th birthday. In Korea, I guess I’m really 41, but let’s not go there…. 😛 I have always said that I will remain 28 forever as I remember that as the best year of my life so far. However, I have to say that 39 was a pretty good year. Who knew that I would make it this far?! I was always convinced I would die at 25 – don’t ask why.

Since my birthday is always when people are away traveling, I decided to celebrate my birthday as an “Almost 40 Party” on Cinco de Mayo (5th of May) this year. I try to play it be ear each year depending on when the summer holidays start. I had a lovely time eating, drinking and having a ball together with my friends here in the desert.

They say that 40 is the new 30, but truthfully age does not mean that much to me. Life continues to be amazing and I think my life has gotten better and better. I always knew that growing up would be so much better than being a kid! 😛

So, I have no words of wisdom or comments to reflect upon regarding my age. Instead, I am just grateful and happy for the life that I have. I look forward to whatever the next year(s) bring! 😀

—-

Day#2:  What technology are you grateful for?

This is a tough one as I do love my technology – all of it! If I have to choose one, though, I guess I am most grateful for the smartphone. My life is pretty much on my iPhone. Of course, without Internet or cellular technologies the smartphone is useless; therefore, obviously, I am including these as part of the smartphone technology gratitude! On my phone, I can make calls (though this is rare as voice communication is used by myself more out of forced purposes than preferred), I can Skype with my family and friends, I can email, I can check FB, I can play games, I can do EVERYTHING! And, I do – LITERALLY! Sometimes, I even watch TV on it. So…yes, I am most grateful for smartphones! 😀

~T 😀

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