Creative Meanderings – My ramblings and wanderings through life

Deep Thoughts, or Not

Jan 142025

Generally, I don’t know who reads this space. For the most part, I don’t need nor want to know since I pretty much write for myself to sort of track my life; and if it helps or entertains others, then that is a great addition. However, by not knowing and not receiving much feedback on my posts, I do not always realize the changes in the type of posts or their impact, if there is any.

Usually, M says he reads this when he is worried that I’m upset with him or about something and haven’t shared it with him. Or, he cannot sleep at night and maybe reading my words helps him go to sleep. On occasion, he also comments on what I’ve written, which is helpful. His latest feedback after an insomniac night was that my posts aren’t as “deep” or possibly thought-provoking as they used to be.

I think he’s right.

But, why or how has it come to be? Well, one reason is that I increased my writing on here to twice a week and sometimes I don’t have that much to say so I struggle for content that will take me to another level. Another possible reason is that I find myself lacking the headspace to allow my mind to drift into the darker corners where I find the topics to ponder upon. Also, perhaps, I’m just so happy that these heavier thoughts just are no longer at the forefront of my brain that I need to give them airtime so that I can focus on other topics or activities.

Probably, it is some combination of reasons that cannot be expressed in one summary.

Something that comes up for me as I write this, and consider explanations, is that I have gotten out of the practice of philosophizing because others around me do not seem interested nor willing to join the conversation. When you do not have an outlet, then it is easier to either avoid or dismiss the thoughts when they come. Perhaps, this is the most accurate influence of them all.

Recently, I have found myself craving intellectual pursuits.

I’ve researched a bit about PhD programs in philosophy or psychology. I have applied and will be starting a 12-week pseudo-MFA program (PocketMFA), in which I will get mentoring and support to, hopefully, keep me going for my fiction book. I am taking on teaching yoga, breath, and meditation. I will be soon starting a two-year program to become a certified Mindfulness Meditation Teacher. So, just from these activities, I can see the theme of teaching and learning coming back to the forefront of my life.

The heart of these activities is in stimulating my mind so that I can re-open the head spaces in which I like to mull around for pondering, philosophizing, and contemplating the state of the world, society, and mostly, the human condition.

People are a mixed bag for me: fascinating, curious, disappointing, discouraging, inspirational, confusing, uplifting, and more. This is what makes humans an amazing race compared to the other animals, though it may be that we just don’t understand their language and they are just as amazing…. Yet, in my belief that humans can achieve absolutely anything and everything they may desire, I must also accept that often most do not know it, let alone achieve it. This is where my disappointment lies. This is where my “dislike” for people stems.

So, I have decided – at least for today, this month, year – to do my own part in making the world a better place by helping humans/individuals to learn their capacity, make plans to go for it, and ultimately achieve whatever they can dream up. It means that I may be more disappointed at times, but it also means that I may be awed more than usual.

In this pursuit, I may write less regularly. I may write less frequently. Or, I may go through periods of posting a lot or not at all. Whatever the roller coaster ride of life presents, I shall endeavor to ponder deeper. Of course, I’ll still share my trips and other superficial activities, cuz that’s fun too!

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Welcome Home…

Going Mental No Responses »

Jan 062025

We are home at last. Despite our goals to stay put for a while, it’s not to be so steady until the end of February, but at least we are around the area and at home for longer periods. M should be actually at home more than me, which is good for both of us! 😅

Since I am not one to leave unpacking or cleaning up until later, we spent the first afternoon dividing and conquering. Christmas decorations needed to be put away, suitcases unpacked, and, unfortunately, kitchen cleaned and reorganized, along with the mounds of laundry – not just from us but sheets and towels left by our guests.

While I cannot reasonably complain about the difference in cleanliness and houseguest standards, I feel this is a necessary vent since it is my space here to do whatever I want, right?! 🤪

We had two lots of guests over the Christmas and post-Christmas into the new year period. They took care of our pets in exchange for a free stay in our home. In general, we are pretty free-minded and open with our things for, after all, they are just things. However, I forget that my expectation that the house will be left as it was when they arrived – clean, objects in the same space, etc. – is always a set up for disappointment…. 😣

Now, I admit that I am rather stubborn, and possibly obsessive, about my organization and level of cleanliness. However, I am also very conscientious about other people’s possessions. I respect the fact that they had to work to get the money to buy the things they have. Therefore, I treat their things and space as I would my own. The difference is that people treat their own things at different levels than I, and this carries over in how they treat mine/ours. Furthermore, because I have a reason for why things are located where they are in my own home, I try to remember where I get items from in someone else’s house. Strangely, or not, this doesn’t seem to apply for others.

In the grand scheme of things, it is not important nor worth this much thought even in a blog post. Yet, I am a deep-thinker, philosopher, observer of society, and participant in this world. So, I cannot help myself from pondering on the theoretical and social norms, especially when I feel as if I am the only one who is then considered “abnormal”.

Is it a matter of respect? Is it a matter of just not being aware? Is it a lack of caring? What is it…?

I imagine that if I were to ask these people directly, I would get an answer something like We just felt so comfortable that we made it like our home. Or, You’re always so kind that we didn’t think it would matter. Or, You should have just told us. So sorry. While these would all be valid comments, they aren’t enough for me because I believe that it stems from something deeper.

Probably, I’m just pondering over nothing. Probably, it’s not that important. Probably, no harm no foul is the way to go. Probably.

Still, my point to anyone who reads this is that just because things aren’t important to you, being in someone else’s home isn’t about YOU. While you may be someone who doesn’t mind unpacking slowly over a week or some unknown period of time, or perhaps you don’t notice or mind a bit of unclean spaces, it is valuable to understand who your host is – especially if you’re friends and/or have visited multiple times before.

Truly, there is nothing more frustrating than having to spend hours cleaning and reorganizing along with days of laundry when returning from travels. It’s not important that the trip was one of luxury and relaxation. It IS important that this is not your home and would you really want to have to come home from traveling and spend days trying to get things back to how you would like it to be?

I think not probably, but rather definitely!

So, the next time you’re a guest in someone’s home. Leave it as clean, or even cleaner than when you arrived! Make sure you have enough time to do the sheets and towels before you leave (find a nearby laundromat if you have to!). Make sure that if you moved things around, you return it to where you found it (take a picture before you move it!). Theses are my wishes.

And, if you read this and are visiting me, take notes! 😬😅

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Happy New Year: 2025!

Going Mental No Responses »

Jan 012025

Words for 2025: Focus, Stillness and Simplify

As I sit and reflect by the pool or Caribbean Sea, I am grateful for the amazing life that we/I lead. We are fortunate to be able to travel as much as we do, experience the things we do, and enjoy life’s many luxuries as we do. We have worked hard to make this possible for ourselves. This year was definitely about fully embracing the rewards.

Through our slowing down as the year comes to a close, we/I have come to feel that it is time to recoup. M feels more strongly about staying in one place than I do, but we have agreed that less will be more in terms of travel and activity next year. With that in mind, my reflections are that while this year was fun with all the travel, the fact is that I cannot remember many of our trips. Perhaps, we really did move around too much. It was definitely true that being home was too short for us to get our footing in regularity, routine, and rest.

So, here are my goals and plans for the upcoming year as we bring focus and stillness as we simplify our lives in 2025.

Health and Wellbeing

*Starting the 2-year Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certification Program
*Meditate 5/7 days a week
*Treadmill and gym daily
*Yoga daily
*Teach yoga and meditation

Finance

*Generate more independent income through business/work activities
*Pay off school loans
*Jag F-type in red

Writing

*May – Umbria on a Whim Vol 3: Where to live published
*June – Blue eyed Monkey manuscript finished
*August – Beacon of Light poetry book published
*Work on biographies

Relationships: Personal

*Reinstate date nights
*Remove contact with those who bring negativity to my mind and heart
*Vibrate higher with those who aspire to do the same

Relationships: Business

*Decrease online work to just content creation
*Increase editing work
*Increase book coaching

I feel that most of these work toward bringing more focus and stillness, but may perhaps require more reflection to consider the simplifying aspect. I know that my personal relationships will be simpler and more meaningful, so perhaps that will be enough.

For the most part, I feel ready. Next year feels like it will be a quiet one for recuperating our energy and finances so that we continue to work toward creating the kind of lifestyle we desire that balances all of the aspects of life that bring us joy and peace to our hearts.

With that, to whomever reads this blog, I wish you a very prosperous, productive and purposeful year in 2025! Thanks for reading and perhaps drop a comment now and then so I know you’re out there. 😅

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Thoughts on the India Experience

General, Meanderings Abroad No Responses »

Dec 162024

The country of India has always held a fascination for me. From the extremes of the shanty towns, slums, to the Bollywood richness, with spiritual spaces, ashrams, to rituals in the Ganges River and festivals of colors and lights, I’ve been curious.

On the other hand, stories of violence against women, the expression of the caste system, and images of extreme poverty have made me fear visiting.

Add to that stories of getting “Delhi belly” and the level of dirtiness, I admit that despite the experiences shared in Shantaram or Slum Dog Millionaire, I haven’t been certain of making a reality in a visit to this place.

Yet, when the chance to go came up, I felt both excited and uncertain.

We were lucky to be invited, which provided us the luxury of a more comfortable tour of one of the northern states – Gujurat. The city was Rajkot.

It was less crowded than how I imagine Mumbai or Delhi to be, but the functional chaos that allows the traffic to flow, people to live, and life to exist was an experience in itself. There is constant noise as horns honk in a form of communication that informs how to move. Riding the taxi tuk tuks was exhilarating although inhaling the dust that kicks up is not an ideal long term activity. Still, one is reminded that just because we have a different way of doing things doesn’t mean that it is the only one.

For the engagement and wedding ceremonies, I was interested in the fact that often the spectators were talking or singing amongst themselves appearing to not be concerned about the activities happening between the bride and groom or their inner family members. Yet, somehow everyone knew when it was time for them to go up to offer their gifts or do the blessings that rituals required. Some moments appeared more for a photographic purpose than for ceremony, but it all worked.

Somehow, there appeared to be a balance of the spiritual rituals of the inner circle and the observing activities of those around. Although full attention is not given like in our Western ceremonies, the importance of the activities are not less felt. In fact, in some ways it was less stressful for the guests when there was freedom from formalities and forced etiquette.

What struck me most of the colorfulness of the people’s clothing and spirits that redirected the eyes from the dusty brown of the roads and buildings. While one might consider some views to be depressing and bland, it could not reasonably be said about the people, their food, or the fabrics.

Gujurat is a fairly modern state. It is dry – alcohol free – and vegetarian. Brahma cows, goats and dogs wander the streets freely knowing they were not in danger of their lives or disturbance of the daily flow. The family we came to know treated us like honored guests, which made us feel privileged even if it also raised their level of importance/status amongst extended family and friends.

Finally, on a side note, it was worth the observation of M who found himself amongst others who looked like him for the first time in his life. When he let go of his protective air that he has held for so long, he found himself enjoying being a part of the flow. It’s a similar feeling I have when in Hawaii or amongst Asians who also have an American/Western element.

We continue to discuss that the experience is still beyond full and adequate words. It’s really hard to express properly the place that truly touched the soul. We also shared different awakenings in the short week that we were there, yet bond over not necessarily needing the elocution of words that limit what we felt. It definitely feels like a once in a lifetime experience. It was an honor for us to be included in the wedding celebrations. We gained stronger connection to these young people who were more colleagues to M than friends.

Will we go again? That remains to be seen. I feel that I still want to experience the fullness of a big city like Mumbai or Delhi. I think I would still like to go on a tour to see Jaipur, the Taj Mahal, and understand more of the cultural elements of the country. However, if I don’t, I will cherish this trip always.

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Wedding in India

General, Meanderings Abroad No Responses »

Dec 102024

It’s been a little busy as we prepared for our first trip to India. 🇮🇳

About three or four years ago, M connected with a guy to help him create apps. They became friends. We learned of their love story and mentally planned for their eventual marriage celebrations.

In July of this year, we confirmed our visit. At last, we got to meet them in person, were included in their family events, and experienced a unique moment in their lives as they performed their marriage rituals.

For me, I have been excited about the chance to see a new country and to be with M in his own experience of being in the country of his heritage. While he was born in England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿, he still comes from a history in India. Although he has never really been keen to embrace his genetic and cultural roots, he accepted the challenge to come on this trip. Plus, he loves a wedding! 💒🤣

It’s been a nice soft visit in that we’ve been treated with special care and protected by privilege. Though we have ventured out to experience some of the city of Rajkot in the state of Ghujurat, we have barely had to deal with much on our own.

M has said he’d come back now. He’s clicked into the comfort of “fitting in” visually and though he may not express it, I believe there is a sense of belonging here amidst the chaos and stream of movement.

So, we may do a proper tour next time. I’d love to compare what we have seen and experienced here with other parts of the country.

Anyway, the two-day engagement and wedding parties were amazing. The engagement party was a semi formal affair with some ceremony and rituals. We were offered traditional attire for the wedding day to share in some of the rituals and see the Hindu tradition for exchanging their vows.

Some pics highlighting the events here:

Will write more on my observations of the trip later.

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Happy Thanksgiving 2024

Going Mental No Responses »

Nov 292024

Another lovely Thanksgiving has passed. This year was a bit quieter since I celebrated early with a Friendsgiving in Japan. We are also in between trips, so I wasn’t really up to organizing the cooking or getting people to come celebrate with us. So, it was a blessing to be able to join friends at their place where they put a lot of love in the labor of cooking a delicious meal for us and other friends in the area.

In previous years, we have gone into town and eaten at a restaurant that specially prepares a turkey dinner for the expats around. It just didn’t have the same feel for me, so I did not want to repeat that outing. I appreciate many people in our lives, but I always want to spend this holiday with those I hold dear and to enjoy a meal in a more intimate setting.

Next year, we plan to be around, probably, so I just might organize something, but there’s a lot of time before then.

I am thankful to have had this lovely quiet holiday with delicious food and good company!

~T🔥🐉♋️

Too Much Travel?!

Going Mental No Responses »

Nov 252024

A pause in our flitting to and fro feels nice. We have been traveling every month to somewhere new according to M’s photo memories.

The positive of traveling is that life is always changing and we experience new things regularly. The downside is that it is easy to forget where we have been, and we do not get to fully appreciate where we are now.

Although we are still on the go through to the end of the year, we are planning on staying in one place longer in the coming year. Aside from an already set Hawaii trip with my family, we have agreed to do mostly domestic/European travel next year. Obviously, things can change tomorrow with us, but that is the current status of our decisions.

Personally, I have mixed opinions on this. Of course, I enjoy our home and it is nice to have routine. It’s easier for me to try to get writing done, maintain friendships, and create a “normal” life when we are stable. On the other hand, I do start to get bored, antsy, and isolated living in the middle of nowhere-town. So, finding a better balance is what we are aiming for.

Perhaps, like in an earlier post, I am Escaping the Good too much. In any case, next year will be a quieter travel year and promises to be filled with new experiences that can still be enjoyed fully in the moment. Stay tuned for some reflections and goals to come.

~T🔥🐉♋️

Japan Visit

Meanderings Abroad No Responses »

Nov 232024

I just returned from what has become a yearly visit to Japan. My relationship with the country has evolved now that I don’t live there full-time nor need to work to enjoy what the Land of the Rising Sun offers. While I can never quite decide if I would want to live there again, I know that I will always continue to visit.

This was a short week-long visit that was really about five days if you take off the two days of traveling to and from there.

It wasn’t enough time to do all the usual things that I like to do, but it was enough to catch up with my BFF and BFF#2 (during her visit), see many friends, eat good food – both home-cooked and out -, shop (thanks to the weak yen), and overall enjoy a few days of the country that is as familiar to me now as my own home(s).

Here are some pics that highlight the visit:

Might be this time next year when we visit again, but whenever it is, I am looking forward to it.

~T 🔥🐉♋️

New York Visit

Meanderings Abroad No Responses »

Nov 152024

I may have left it too long for my memory to recall our/my latest trip to New York City. It was nearly a month ago now and it seems that despite my promises to update about the trip, I have only just now remembered. Guess that’s part of the brain fog era of life that I am in. Anyway, let me see what I recall.

First, the main reason for going was to attend a book writing retreat with the company I do some editing work for. Initially, I was going to teach a full session, but as it was my first time to meet everyone on the team and see what the work would require, I decided to just attend as a participant so I could get a sense of everyone first. This turned out to be a good idea.

When I decided that I was going, my mom and I thought it would be fun to combine a short mother-daughter trip to the City. So, we got to work on finding out what shows were on and getting our tickets.

We saw three shows: Oh Mary!, Six – the musical, and YellowFace. It was a mix of show types, and Oh Mary! was definitely my favorite. I enjoyed the others, but they just weren’t as entertaining.

During the days, we did a lot of walking in different areas of the city, taking in sights and enjoying some of the eats on offer. Although Mom probably would have liked to see more museum exhibits, we didn’t go to any…. Still, it was a good time.

Since M decided he didn’t want to spend time apart a few months ago, he joined the trip on the day that Mom went back home. He had to entertain himself for three of the days, but he seemed to have survived.

The retreat was good, interesting, and motivational in seeing how the company works, learning about people’s ideas for books, and reminding me why I love reading, writing, and editing. I’m amazed at how just saying YES got me there.

So, that is what the NYC trip entailed. Overall, I was reminded of my love of the crazy city that is truly an entity of its own. Despite the increased level of noise and scent of MaryJ everywhere, I fell into a comfortable groove walking around, interacting with Americans/New Yorkers, and just being a part of the pulse of the city. I had missed it, to be honest.

Hopefully, it won’t be another ten years before I return again. Next time, I’d like to see more shows and eat even more food! Haha!

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Waiting to Breathe

Going Mental No Responses »

Nov 112024

Well, I had two glorious days of doing absolutely nothing, which was much needed. My energy cup was bordering on empty, which is often when my bipolar tendencies kick-in. Though I don’t think that I have such strong ups and downs these days, I definitely notice when stress affects my productivity, judgment, and behavior.

So, the Universe looked out for me and helped me to create the time and space to just be in my own rhythm and head. Although I was not idle, I feel caught up and a lot less stressed. I did catch up with people on Friday night after I dropped M at the airport, but the rest of the weekend was mine.

While I could have probably done more in terms of writing, I felt that time was more aptly spent vegging out. Me and Seal Team had some proper QT the last couple of days and I regret nothing! Aside from chats with M and my parents, I talked to no one. It was bliss.

Today, it is back to the real world as I prepare to head off for my week visit to Japan. I have a day to myself still in Rome, but it’s a mix of activity and relaxation before I settle in for a day of travel and then a week of catching up with my BFF and other friends. It’ll be fun, no doubt.

Anyway, I hope to draft an update of my NYC trip this week and then it’s that time of year when reflections and new goals come into focus. In the meantime, I shall remember to breathe.

~T🔥🐉♋️

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