Tara

How long would you search for me?

 Going Mental  No Responses »
Jun 032019
 

My obsession with true crime podcasts and (audio)books can sometimes necessitate a bit of a step back to process the dark issues that can come up from listening to these kinds of stories.

Inevitably, one part of these stories is the search for the victims.

In some cases, they are rarely or never really missed due to dysfunctional families and relationships. In other cases, days can go by before anyone begins to worry because the person is independent or known to go off the grid at times. Then, there are those who cause instant worry if they aren’t heard from for even an hour.

I imagine that I’m some version of the latter two cases. However, I have recently contemplated just how long would it take for someone to miss me?

Out of interest, I asked my BFF and husband how much time they think would pass before realizing that I was gone.

My husband said a good eight hours, and the BFF claimed shortly after my husband noticed since he’d probably contact her first after realizing I had been out of touch.

This is not an unreasonable amount of time in my opinion since a regular work day keeps us busy and we don’t have to be in touch all the time. Still, a lot of bad stuff can go down in that amount of time….

Taking it a step further, the extension of this question and in many stories is – how long would you keep searching for me if I were missing?

Perhaps these are morbid questions influenced by the podcasts I listen to and the books I read. Still, no one wants to think about these truths unless forced to, but what’s the harm in having a plan like an evacuation pack or prepping for the end of times?πŸ€ͺ

I kind of liken it to when my grandmothers were getting on in age and it became somewhat worrisome for them to live on their own. So, they called my parents every night to check in. This is a good plan and it’s nice to be in touch regularly with those whom we care about.

So, seriously, how long do you think it would be before anyone would notice you were gone and how long would they keep looking for you? πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ Do you have a plan in place in the very unlikely event that something like this happens?

~T πŸ˜€

Wordsmithing: β€˜there’

 Going Mental  1 Response »
Jun 022019
 

One of the problems with communication is using the most accurate wording to express our ideas and thoughts.

As a child, I learned how to record conversations in my head when someone was arguing with or mad at me so that I could pick it apart later to replay what I would or should have said back to make myself understood. Of course, it would be too late (unless the same topic came up again in an argument 🀭), but it helped me with future similar situations.

One thing I tend to do is focus on particular words and require exact explanations as to the other party’s true meaning. πŸ€”

Taking a semantics class in my MA program exacerbated an already β€œunhealthy” interest in words as now I had theory and deeper knowledge about the exact meanings of our word usage. πŸ€“

It’s probably less of a surprise then that I chose to become a professional language teacher. 😜

Anyway, because of this, words and phrases that I hear repeatedly stick in my head as I process what is really meant by them – especially if they are used by different people who do not necessarily know each other.

Recently, one such phrase has been:

~ is getting there

Where is there? What is there? When is there? What’s so special about there?

It seems to me by its usage that wherever or whatever there is, it’s made up and often unreachable.

I want to ask people when I hear β€œI’m getting there” or β€œHe’s getting there” what that means really?

Obviously, we don’t have to question the literal understanding as a physical location, but what about the figurative? Can I or you or he or she or we ever get there?

If we can’t, then why say it at all since it just sounds defeatist? If we can, then why not just say exactly what the goal is?

Perhaps, it’s because we really don’t know what there is, in which case, I ask why use it at all?

In any case, I hope I’m getting there in understanding what is meant with this phrase….πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

~T πŸ˜€

Whispers

 Going Mental  No Responses »
Jun 012019
 

I’m sitting waiting on a stranger’s back deck listening to the beautiful sounds of nature.

The birds are singing to one another and the trees are whispering their secrets spreading from one leaf to another like ripples that turn into waves that crash up on the beach.

I’m reminded of this book I read late last year: The Hidden Life of Trees, and wonder what old stories are being told in the whispering breeze.

The last month’s challenge has propelled my mind towards contemplations in trying to understand the stories both being and wanting to be told with those needing to be heard.

For no story is ever meaningful unless the listener is ready to receive it. πŸ™‰

My hope is to write the stories waiting to be heard. Or, like the quiet whispers of the trees, in sharing my life stories, one realizes it was just what s/he was waiting to hear. πŸ˜‰

~T πŸ˜€

Day 31: #whyshewrites

 Going Mental  No Responses »
May 312019
 

Share one line of your own writing

Seems like one line is not enough….

Today is the end of the #whyshewriteschallenge and I must say that I’ve enjoyed it overall. It also served to push me into writing and sharing more.

So, really for the last 31 days I have been sharing my writing as this is the general way I write for general consumption.

Readers are welcome to read through the blog for the time being. I’ll be working on sharing more writing in general now that the habit is formed. πŸ˜‰

~T πŸ˜€

Day 30: #whyshewrites

 Going Mental  No Responses »
May 302019
 

How do you support other women writers?

Initially, my answer to this was that I really don’t. 🀭

However, after a bit more thought, πŸ€”I realized that the best way that I can support any writer is by reading her writing. πŸ€“

I enjoy reading a variety of books from Danielle Steel, Nora Roberts to Laura Ingalls Wilder to Ayn Rand, Margaret Atwood, Elizabeth Gilbert to, of course, the classics with Jane Austen, Bronte sisters, and so many more. πŸ‘©πŸ½β€πŸ«

To me, the best way to support any writer ✍🏽is to read their words. After all, that is the main purpose of any writer – I imagine….

So, there it is! 🀩

~T πŸ˜€

Day 29: #whyshewrites

 Going Mental  No Responses »
May 292019
 

What is your writing goal this year?

At the beginning of the year, I avoided publicly sharing any goals for this year so that I did not feel disappointed by the end of it. πŸ˜…

Also, that way no one could point out if I missed something – not that anyone keeps track of my life, or wants to, as much as I do. 😜

Still, I do make them. And, I did set them in writing too. However, I have to accept that ‘real life’ gets in the way of my dream one. πŸ™„

On the bright side, the year is only half over so there is still time to reach my goals or adjust them accordingly. πŸ˜‰

So, I have decided that I can achieve the following:

*☝🏽Draft volume 1 of The Universal Asian and/or update the blog

*✌🏽Aim to participate in November’s NaNoWriMo as a way of helping get the above πŸ‘†πŸ½done. πŸ˜‰

*🀟🏽Continue staying up with posting here now that I’ve redeveloped a habit for it.

These seem manageable. Feel free to keep me accountable! πŸ’ͺ🏽

~T πŸ˜€

Day 28: #whyshewrites

 Going Mental  No Responses »
May 282019
 

If you had one writer wish, what would it be?

I’m not quite sure how to answer this, but I suppose I can interpret it however I like.

My wish for my writing is to touch people. Whether it is to make them laugh πŸ˜‚, ponder πŸ€” the world 🌎, feel angry 😑 at a different opinion, or just open their eyes πŸ‘€ to something new, I am happy.

Sure, like any writer who calls themselves such, I would like to be published more and sell well a novel. However, it doesn’t need to be a bestseller – though if I could be on Ellen or Oprah for it I wouldn’t complain. 😜

Mostly, I write for myself and hope that in doing so at least one other person out there connects with my words enough to know they are not alone in their experiences and walk on this planet we all share. πŸ’ž

Is that a wish? Hm….

~T πŸ˜€

In the Kitchen

 Going Mental  1 Response »
May 272019
 

Everyone who know me knows that being in the kitchen is not my favorite place to be. If given a choice, I’d rather be eating the food than making it. πŸ˜€

Growing up with my family, the kitchen was a generally happy place. I would sit on a bar stool and chat with my mom or dad as they made dinner or baked something. Despite my father’s best efforts to get me to help him, I worked hard to find ways to avoid helping. Even his ultimatums to force me to make dinners didn’t last since it was such a drama for me. I told him early on that I would marry someone who can cook so that I did not have to.

Baking was another story. I didn’t mind that so much, for some reason. Still, I did not do it that often. Plus, most of the time, my mom would make the dough of cookies and I merely had to put them in or take them out of the oven. πŸ˜€

It wasn’t until I moved to Abu Dhabi and really lived on my own for the first time in my adult life that I came to understand the probable reason for why I had such an issue with the kitchen.

My realization came with panic attacks every time I was in my ‘small’ kitchen. I mean, I had been in small kitchens before with our tiny New York and Japan apartments. However, I had never really been alone in them.

After some professional help and my own analysis, it dawned on me that remnants of trauma from my second adoptive family was triggered by being in the kitchen.

The kitchen was the place where I would stand in the corner for what seemed like hours (to a 5-year-old’s mind) on my own contemplating what exactly I had done wrong. When I couldn’t piece it together, I developed the art of emptying the mind. Who knew then that today I would call it meditation πŸ§˜πŸ½β€β™€οΈ!

The kitchen was the place where I would get yelled out no matter what I did. The wooden spoons from the kitchen were used to spank me. My first mental breakdown and screaming match at my adoptive mother was in a kitchen.

Even though it is just a room in the house and I do not always associate it with these negative memories, being alone in a kitchen is generally NOT my idea of fun. Over the years, I have developed many happy memories in my kitchens, so it’s not all bad. πŸ˜‰

Still, these days, I prefer open kitchens rather than rooms where the lingering memories can grow like mold in the walls unnoticed until a breakdown occurs. Most importantly, I am more than content to let anyone and everyone else be in the kitchen (open or not) if it means that I don’t have to be! πŸ˜›

In fact, despite the social phenomenon of people always somehow ending up gathering in the kitchen at parties, I tend to avoid it as much as possible.

However, there are occasions when I feel an urge to step into the kitchen to bake or make meals. Recently, this has been happening more often (though summer has started so it might lessen again!).

  • First bread loaf
  • Apple Day – pie and sauce
  • Tortillas from scratch
  • Second bread loaf

These are just a few pics of kitchen adventures some months back!

Age is a funny thing as I’m finding I can start to let go of the traumas of the past and enjoy the world of edible creations. Still, if you want to feed me without me having to be in the kitchen, I will never prevent you from doing so!

~T πŸ˜€

Day 27: #whyshewrites

 Going Mental  No Responses »
May 272019
 

Who is your favorite writer on Instagram? Tag them!

This is too similar to Day 12 and 20, and both times I had no answer.

Not enough time has passed for me to have changed my answer so… this is all I got for this one. πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

~T πŸ˜€

Day 26: #whyshewrites

 Going Mental  No Responses »
May 262019
 

The look on your face when you’re editing

This picture connects to Day 25 and the reality of my editing. Actually, I don’t edit that much, but to be fair I haven’t completed a full manuscript that I have had to edit. πŸ˜‚

My published pieces were edited by the publication editors, so I was able to pass the responsibility on to them. 😜

When I do need to edit my own work, I do not really feel it a cumbersome task because I tend to write once I have outlined what I want to say. This is why I can be slow in getting something out.

Of course, this is not always the case and there are plenty of times when I write something that is complete gibberish. In those cases, rather than edit, I tend to just start over and rework the parts that can be used into the new piece. Perhaps one would just simply call that editing, though? πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

In any case, with the help of furry friends, I generally avoid it altogether. πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

~T πŸ˜€

 Older Entries  Newer Entries
error

Enjoy this blog? Please spread the word :)