Creative Meanderings

The days are getting warmer even though it remains cold outside. Spring is coming.

Just this morning we were reminiscing on the fact that it seems like we just saw the leaves fall off the trees, and now the soft green buds are forming in preparation for the spring blossoms.

When I see this, I am reminded so clearly how fast time passes and the impermanence of that which happens in our lives.

In meditation, one of the keys to learning to quiet the mind is learning that our thoughts will continue to come, but we do not need to dwell on them because they pass as does everything in life. When we learn to accept this reality, then we learn to let go of the thoughts and feelings that do not serve to make our lives better. Why spend the little time we have in this season of our lives focusing on negatives when there is so much to enjoy? -for example, the changing season. The fresh green buds starting anew to bring beauty.

So, each day I am waking with more joy and even a smile – after meditation – for I am trying to focus on the fact that life is impermanent and there is much to be grateful for everyday.

-T 😀

Frustration.

Is that the word I am looking for? I am not sure. It feels right at the moment. What do I have to be frustrated about, though?

Life on the whole is good. We finally have money coming in regularly. Our rent gets paid on time every month. The bills are getting paid. We even have enough money to splurge on little things here and there throughout the month. There is even a glimmer of hope that our (mostly my) things in storage could actually be in the shipping process by the end of the month. That’s extreme progress if you look at where we were just six short months ago.

Yet, there’s an underlying dark spot in my mind that is starting to grow and overwhelm me. If I can name it, will I know how to deal with it?

By now, I should have more awareness and strategies in place to cope with my ups and downs, regular hormonal cycle and stresses of living. Yet, there are times when I feel like our goldfish with short term memories – did I just eat? Am I hungry now?

So, at the moment, the name that comes to mind is frustration.

Perhaps it is the mundane routine of ‘work’. Although my job is fairly diverse, and not every day is the same kind of work, I still feel unchallenged by it. Of course, if I do manage to keep my patience, it will change and I’ll be able to do some new projects soon. It’s just a matter of time.

Still, knowing that doesn’t alleviate the stress I feel.

In any case, I think I am close to putting my finger on this dark place and once I do, then the light will indeed shine again on it. Until then, I shall lightly brood….

~T 😀

This morning as I begrudgingly prevented myself from feeling annoyed by my husband’s late schedule, in other words his presence and interruption to my daily routine, we were discussing life.

Lately, we have both been quite busy and realized it would be quite easy to lose touch with one another. We thought about how having children disrupts the marital relationship – or, work or life in general. It is often said that you have to work at keeping a marriage going. This is true. But, at the same time, it is not so much that it is ‘work’ as in an endurance or obligation in life like it is to make money or take care of your children. Instead, to me, it is about making it a priority to enjoy the moments you have together.

This goes for life.

So many people have accepted that complaining about life, work, partners, etc. is what we do. However, when we stop to enjoy moments that we share then suddenly things just are not so negative. I, like everyone, need to be reminded from time to time to switch my perspective – even just a little – and then the moment becomes enjoyable.

Take for example, our recent snow storm in Tokyo. It was amazing. I was excited. Of course, it has been nine years since I’ve had the experience of snow and I was lucky enough to have a free-ish schedule to allow me to avoid any dangerous aspects that it might cause. However, as I was speaking to a colleague who is my age, single with no kids, etc. she was surprised at my excitement. She kept pointing out that it is dangerous to walk, or that it’s cold and wet or that the trains get disrupted, or, or , or…. To me, these were not good enough reasons to not be excited at the ❄️ snow.

As I walked home, I took pictures of its beauty and enjoyed the cold that I felt. It was a moment to enjoy.

I wondered what perspective shift would be required to make my colleague excited about this weather. Mostly, I just felt sad for her lack of ability to enjoy a temporary moment. That’s it, isn’t it? Every moment is temporary. Life passes by quickly and our situations change all the time. So, through the good and the bad are moments for us to learn and grow from. Most of all, they are for us to take in and live!

~T 😀

**Apologies for the bit of stream of conscientiousness style today….** 😛

As I began to set my new goals for this year, I wondered how easy it would be to get into the routine I had laid out especially with a partner who loves to have a morning snuggle rather than get up and go.

However, thanks to jet lag and no time to waste before heading back to work, the first day has gone incredibly well so far.

We managed to stay awake until about 8:45pm last night, which almost met the “don’t sleep before 9pm” travel rule for getting over jet lag. We both still woke up a couple of times, but by the time the alarm went off at 5am, I was ready to face the cold.

With a quick change into my workout gear, I managed a 20-minute meditation session with only the beginnings of dead leg by the time the bell gonged. 😉

Then, after a quick stretch on the mat, I was out the door with my new wireless Bluetooth headphones for a refreshing morning jog.

I was fairly pleased with these stats for my first run back and in the chilly temps.

Also, I have decided to go back to a fairly Paleo & plant-based diet removing the carbs/sugars in our diet. So, that meant having a good breakfast of scrambled eggs 🥚 , sausages 🌭(not ideal to have processed meat, but that was what I could get last minute) and spinach with some pickled cucumbers 🥒 (tsukemono).

Another benefit of this early start is that I have time to write again – journaling and blogging. I am on a mission to re-focus on my writing again as it does/can bring me money and I enjoy it more than some of the other “easy-money”-making activities that I am doing. While I will try to maintain a balance as income is our priority this year, I am going to do my best to stay true to my passions again.

So, gotta say we are off to a great first day back ‘home’ in Japan 🇯🇵 .

~T:D

I was just looking through my posts on my phone app where I sometimes write drafts while on the move. I found these in the draft folder and thought I’d post them now even though they may not be pertinent at the moment.

There are moments when I wonder why I don’t stay in the moment long enough to finish a post or to acknowledge the feelings of that time.

Now as I feel as if work is finding a balance I can begin to reflect and see how I can prepare for another year…

//

The sun shines today and the laundry commences. The decision on when laundry is done is no longer left to my own schedule or choice, but is determined by the whims of nature.

In this one wonders how much free choice we truly have or are we just wandering about fulfilling what the universe already knows?

Perhaps where our freedom lies is deciding when to stop refusing to take the path before us toward ourselves. Perhaps our unhappiness and discontent is because we think we know a better way….

When I look at the people around me and talk to the ones I love, I see how true this might be for them. Yet before I judge them I look inward.

Am I avoiding the path before me? Am I refusing to see a way that is meant to be?

The truth I really don’t know. I would like to say that I am not. My ego wants to believe that I am slightly more aware and conscience than those around me and yet… perhaps I am equally deluded. The only way to know is to judge by my state of being.

I am happy. I am more content with life than I have been for a long time. I feel peaces in my heart and mind. While I may have debates in my mind about decisions to be made, I feel satisfied with where I am.

//

Our New Digs

We have admittedly been extremely lucky to have been able to procure a regular living space so quickly in our time here in Japan.

For most people, a visa and resident’s card is required before a landlord or real estate agency will consider starting the process for full-time accommodations.

It takes quite a while to obtain these items if the process is started after arriving in Japan – in fact, we are both still waiting for a certificate of eligibility to get working visas. However, my ability to speak Japanese and the amazing generosity of long-time friends (aka family) to serve as a guarantor made it possible for us to get a lovely space to set up as home.

We did do a small monthly rental for a month until we could get our place. Here is a video of that place.

Now, we are slowly settling in to our new place. Here’s a little video I made of the place. Hopefully, we will have some visitors – well, we have one coming tomorrow, but more on that later. 😛

So, step-by-step we are getting into our new lives. Now, just for me to get my visa sorted….

~T 😀