Tara

Feb 102017
 

In the midst of trying to schedule in writing time and really making a decision to focus more on my writing as a way of making income so that when we finally move on to another country, I will not be tied to needing a job in a particular location.

However, in doing so I start to wonder about my skills because my story-writing days are quite slim as I have hardly completed a story from start to finish. At the moment, I am writing essays and in a non-fiction style or perhaps one might call it an editorial or opinion column style. 

Therefore, I am not yet certain what sort of voice I have when it comes to writing myself. I mean, I can definitely write my own story and experiences, but will it be entertaining enough? Will it be good enough?

Surely every writer goes through periods of self-doubt and worry. Still, it is a difficult process to go through regularly when trying to write. 

So…as I carve away time, I also try to find my writing voice and am hopeful that it will turn into the fruition of my dreams!

~T πŸ˜€

Feb 092017
 

When I decided to get married again, I determined that there was absolutely no way that I would consider divorce again. When I set my mind to decisions of such extraordinary importance there is generally nothing to make me waiver from it – no matter how tough things get.

In my first marriage, I never considered divorce as an option, but then I believed that he would love and protect me above all other things. That turned out to have conditions on it – to which I rebelled and ensured that the ties would be cut completely. Yet, the painful truth in that case was that I did not really love him enough to endure it to the end. Plus, I could not see that he would ever change to become the person who would actually love and protect me above all other things – unconditionally.

In M, I saw the immensity of his love and commitment to bring happiness into my life no matter what. I knew that he came from a similar experience in losing his first marriage and believed in his ability to learn from his mistakes – like me – to make our marriage work above all other things.

As a strong-willed, strong-minded, and independent woman, it is difficult to find a balance between being a loving, supportive and periodically submissive as a wife and staying true to my nature as an individual. 

The individual me is a problem-solver and looks for actionables that will result in fixing a given situation. I am not afraid to do what it takes to ensure that basic needs and stability can be brought into our lives – even if it means short-term sacrifices as a wife.

The wife me is supportive and loving trying to give her husband the space and faith that he will do and does everything in his power to ensure that basic needs and stability are brought into our lives – even if it means short-term sacrifices as an individual.

How do I stay true to my nature and also be the kind of wife that has absolutely no intention of divorcing her husband, when the only viable solution known to us at the moment is for me to leave him for a short-term? How do I know what is the best choice for us? Or, even at the moment, how do I become okay with not having a choice? Is it my arrogance, entitlement and short-fuse that is blinding me from having the humility, patience and compassion to believe that truly everything will work itself out?

So, in the name of love, I wait patiently and faithfully hope that this conflict within me will be a passing moment in our lives and soon I’ll read back on this post wondering how I could have possibly felt this way….

~T πŸ˜€

 Posted by at 14:24
Feb 082017
 

I am having flashbacks to being a kid when everything used to piss me off. I would become angry at anything and everything in a split second. Of course, then I did not understand why this would happen nor having an understanding of triggers, environment and self-control of these responses.

As an adult, I can – thankfully – rationalize why I am finding myself with anger 😑management issues. Now, it is just a matter of taking positive steps towards managing these outbursts.

Unfortunately, it is difficult for me to see myself out of my current state of mind. While I may realize that I should meditate more or pray for more answers from God, I am torn between wanting to stay in my swarm of anger and knowing that it does no good.

One thing I need to get over is a sense of entitlement. A part of me feels entitled to having a short fuse. Haven’t I been patient enough, gone through enough, done enough? Yet, who decides what is enough and why is my ‘enough’ better than someone else’s? Perhaps, the truth is that my enough is actually not enough and that is the lesson to be learned. I am not entitled to a set or predefined amount of endurance – rather I am meant to keep on enduring and believing in the reward at the end of it all – if there even is one.

Also, I need to reflect back and ask myself Can I actually be doing more? Although I feel as if I have done and am doing as much as I can, I imagine that is a bit of a lie. The problem is that I feel a bit hog-tied with environmental and relational bindings. Therefore, it is a struggle for me to get over the sense that there is nothing more that I can do.

This morning, I reminded myself that time may move quickly, but these phases/moments/seasons of life are short in the grand scheme – so patience teaches us that this too shall pass.

So, I am constantly in a state of tension from life, conflict from my head and confusion from trying to understand what is “right”….. An outpouring of blessings, prayers and money would be much appreciated, PLEASE!!!! πŸ™πŸ½

~T πŸ˜€

 Posted by at 09:54
Feb 072017
 


One of my running buddies recommended this podcast to me one day as we were sharing our podcast interest. Since I am always looking for a bit of change in my podcasts due to my habitual nature, I thought this one sounded quite interesting.
I do not know exactly how to describe it, but the website makes it clearer. Mostly, they discuss social topics that may be related to the business world, self-help, or just about anthing really….

If you listen to an early podcast from this year (2017), then you can hear my voice as I did a shoutout when they requested listeners around the world to call in. First time for me to do something like that, but it was fun.

I am generally impressed with the editing of the podcasts as they incorporate a good number of pop culture references from movies, songs, etc. which I love given that it relates to my generation. 😜

Anyway, I am not a weekly listener just yet as I still tend to favor My Favorite Murder, but I do enjoy this podcast quite a bit especially for the medium-to-shortish drives around town. πŸ‘πŸ½

~T πŸ˜€

Feb 062017
 

This weekend was really an excellent weekend all around. I got to relax and enjoy time with friends on top of working, etc.

However, the very best part of the weekend was booking my flight βœˆοΈπŸ”œπŸ—Ύto Japan πŸ‡―πŸ‡΅in March to see my BFF for two weeks!!! πŸ‘πŸ½ I am beyond excited and thrilled that I could get the ticket using miles; πŸ‘πŸ½thus only having to pay about $100 for the ticket! πŸ™ŒπŸ½πŸ™ŒπŸ½

We are already planning our visit to Kyoto 🏯 πŸš… since it will be E’s spring break time as well. It’s gonna be so much fun!!!!

M has noted that I am noticeably in a better mood with more energy and it is true that having something to look forward to along with the prospect of leaving the country after 15 months thrills me!πŸ˜„

Of course, we are hoping that he will be able to join as well so that both of us can have a holiday together. It would be his first time to see Japan; but if he cannot make it then there will always be another chance. 😜 I will definitely make sure I go to enjoy anyway!!πŸ˜†

So, that is one of my 2017 NYRs coming to fruition as I had hoped. It is setting a good tone for everything in life to pick up and start to bring us some relief from our stresses the past year has brought to us….

Anyway, that is my good news for the moment!

~T πŸ˜€

Feb 052017
 

The other day I was contemplating how to write the stories of my life and how to convey them in such a way that is actually of interest. I mean everyone has life stories and everyone has their own unique experiences, so why would anyone want to read mine? 

However, as I listened to a podcast on Insights at the Edge with Tami Simon interviewing Bonnie Badenoch (wrote about this podcast earlier) on how our recovery from trauma comes from having a sense of community and that we can overcome when we do not feel alone or allow ourselves to wallow in our own darkness and sense of despair.

I think that is what my purpose is in this life. A few days ago I wrote a post on what I really dream about and it is to write – to share my story so that others do not feel alone as I did growing up or even now. It is not a matter of wanting to feel special or unique, instead it is a matter of being recognized for the experience that is my own and the overcoming of the traumas despite living with them on my own.
While we can say that no man is an island and no person can take sole responsibility for achieving what they have achieved in life because there will have been others in his/her life that will have contributed to the circumstances that made such a person overcome, be successful or whatever the reality may be. Still, we should not take away from the individual’s strength, character and perseverance to allow the influences of others into his/her life and to move forward positively. Children from the same parents can end up completely different. We all have choices and these choices take us down our paths in life. 
The other night, we watched the movie Lion. It was about a young boy who accidentally gets on an empty train carriage, falls asleep and awakes to find that he is on the move to somewhere unknown. He ends up lost, taken in as an orphan, sent for adoption in Australia and later tries to find his roots to his mother, sister and beloved brother, who dies the same night he is taken away on the train.
It was perhaps a bit dark, but I liked the realistic aspect of it because adoption is still not discussed in its deepest and darkest corners. 
So, it is when I see movies like these that I wonder – isn’t my story also worth a film? πŸ˜›
Then, the answer comes, if I do not write the story and share it, then how will anyone ever have the chance of making a movie of it someday??? πŸ˜€
Thus, it is time for me to do some writing and to properly schedule in my time so that it gets done. Now that yoga is picking up and life is finding some sense of stability again, I can continue to create this space by scheduling it in! :d
Time to look at the calendar then. 
~T πŸ˜€

Feb 042017
 

Jan 29 Sunday

  • Recovery from the weekend

Jan 30 Monday 

  • 5′ elliptical warmup 
  • 5″ v- arm hang
  • 12 burpees
  • 30 35kg total abdominal x2
  • 20 10kg shoulder press 
  • 20 4kg back crunch
  • 15 4kg side crunch each
  • 20 10kg pectoral machine 
  • 40 5kg ab crunch x2 
  • 20 10kg chest press
  • 40 15kg pull down bar
  • 40 15kg low row machine
  • 100 jumping jacks 

Jan 31 Tuesday

  • 58’20” 5.75km with MRTTAD on Corniche

Feb 1 & 2 Wednesday & Thursday

  • Too busy commuting to Dubai for training….πŸ˜₯

Feb 3 Friday 

  • Lazy….couldn’t get out bed with the stormy weather πŸ˜”

Feb 4 Saturday 

  • 5′ elliptical warmup
  • 5″ v-arm hang x2
  • 30 35kg total abdominal x2
  • 15 burpees 
  • 20 bench bridge leg lifts
  • 25 15kg wide bar pull down x2 (front &a back)
  • 30 5kg ab crunch
  • 30 4kg tricep halfbend to straight (each side)
  • 15 10kg pectoral press 
  • Headstand
  • 4″ off wall Handstand 
Feb 032017
 


I think that some might be surprised that I have jumped onto a new business venture. Now, I am definitely not one to believe in pyramid scheme marketing or businesses that seem a bit far-fetched or even a hoax. Initially, when I heard about this product, I was a total skeptic. In fact, I mostly just ignored it. 
However, in reconnecting with God, I also opened myself up to being more alert to opportunities and ways to help with our financial situation. Therefore, when the same product popped up again on my FB feed, I thought I would respond.

Since then, I Skyped, attended the launch of this product in the UAE and have since joined the business of selling Juice Plus+ products. 

As one who likes to do my research before doing things, I am convinced at its benefits as a fruit, vegetable and berry supplement. There are enough positive testimonies and as I looked more at how the product is produced, I came to see that it definitely is not a harmful product and if it really helps with health, then why not be an advocate for that? 

So, for the price of a brunch for one person, I joined as a franchisee and am now able to sell the product either online or in-person (orders still online) in the country and Europe/UK. Of course, there are incentives, bonuses, etc, but these kinds of things do not motivate someone like me. Instead, I want the product to actually be helpful in making people feel physically better. It is in line with The OSH Network business of helping people become the greatest version of themselves from all aspects – physically, mentally and emotionally.

Therefore, we are working to promote the business. M has agreed to help with it and we have started our FB page called SuperYou to run the business through for the most part. Or, the website is SuperYou.Juiceplus.com.

If you’re interested in learning more either to purchase the product or to join the business, feel free to get in touch or contact us on one of the pages listed above. πŸ˜€

~T πŸ˜€

Feb 022017
 

Have you ever wished that you could just spend your life in solitude or just hang with the people you choose to without the need for money or worry about what you are doing with your life? Can you imagine if everyone stopped striving or craving for more or even a seemingly good ‘purpose’ of making the world a better place? What if we all just went about our lives in peace and love?

I often dream of not having to work at all and doing whatever I want from day to day. Currently, my life should meet this desire, but due to the need for money and the desire for more in our lives, we work and work….I spent the first month or so actually trying to live this way by going to the pool regularly or watching TV when I pleased and the truth is that I am not completely cutout for such a way of life. Even though I say how much I would love it, I do not know what it feels like or what it would really even look like.

When I see people posting about “Living the Dream” or “Working from Home” or “Being Able to Travel with Family More”, the reality is that those people are still ‘working’ when they make those posts. Most of those people work for themselves and probably work more – just happier about it – than they did in an office 9-5 job and/or have just changed their hours to evenings, weekends or in-between activities. It is not completely a work-free lifestyle, because those people are not posting anything about their lives – instead they are living it.

Teaching was never my dream job. 😳 In fact, I never really dreamed of working at all. 😁 I mean, I had other jobs in mind that I thought would be interesting, but the truth is that most of those ideas came from others and my perception of what others wanted me to be. If I look back and think hard, all I ever wanted to do that was of my own idea or accord was to write. I wanted to be able to travel around the world, sit in cafes and write stories about what I saw, what I felt, what I experienced. I wanted to get paid enough to do that and not have to worry about the rest of things in life. My little 8-year-old self knew then what was best for me – yet, life, family, society and the world got in the way.

Our expectations of ourselves, of others and of the global community gets in the way of who we really are and whom we are meant to be. 😼

When I determined my life purpose in my first coaching training workshop, I realized that who I want to be is a backstage player letting others shine ahead. My life purpose of “I am the spirit that inspires others to reach their greatest potential” is not the same as being “the light”, which demands attention, or “the guide” which demands followers. Instead, I want to fill people’s hearts with inspiration for action or change of thinking. This will not make me famous nor may I ever get ‘credit’ for it; however, I can feel as if I have influenced those who have crossed my path in life.

Writing fulfills part of this desire as my words can flow into the hearts and minds of those who read what I might have to say. I do not dare to claim that anything I have to say is grand, important or even necessary to be heard, but there are people out there whom might be touched and find themselves connected to my stories of life.

As I listened to a podcast this morning, I realized that my priorities lately have been directed by the desires of others and, of course, my basic Maslow’s need for money to ensure security and stability. However, aside from my blog here, I have not set aside enough time to write – truly write. Therefore, I am looking to make February my writing month. πŸ‘πŸ½

~T πŸ˜€

 Posted by at 11:35
Feb 012017
 


Back when I did the Mindfulness Summit I came across Tami Simon through SoundsTrue.com, which offers courses, audios and books on spirituality, meditation or anything related to healing the mind and spirit. 

Since then, I started listening to this podcast, which is Tami Simon speaking to spiritual leaders or those who are forging new understandings about how to heal the mind and body through spiritual training or psychological awareness. 

I will have to admit that sometimes I have to avoid these podcasts when I am just driving around town as her interviews tend to require long journeys when I can focus completely on listening to fully benefit from the information. Short stints are difficult to jump back in to the topic – so in other words, this is a bit of an intellectually challenging podcast that I am not always up for nor have the time for. πŸ€“

However, for my trips to Dubai – like today – it was just right! πŸ™ƒ

Definitely worth a listen!!

~T πŸ˜€

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