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The Art of Staying Calm

Jan 202017

I missed writing yesterday because I was catching up on the day after a shock to my system on Wednesday. I am still trying to work out what the universe and God are trying to teach, tell and show me. At the moment, I am not fully appreciating whatever it is or may be. 😒

A while ago M mentioned that there is a chance my visa will have to be cancelled because we have not had the money to pay for insurance or the completed visa. As it is, we have had to pay quite a lot just to get the visa in the first place, but we are just making do financially. 😯 On Tuesday night, M came home and said the visa company was going to get in touch to sign some papers about cancelling it, but did not specify that what they wanted was my passport, Emirates ID and were really going through with the process.🙁

So, Wednesday morning, I freaked with the news. 😵Now, understand – life here does not move forward without an EID which comes from the visa. The reason we had to live in our friends’ apartment over the summer, went 11 weeks without electricity, etc was because neither of us had these very important items. Therefore, now the thought of having it all cancelled puts us back into the threat of being kicked out of our place, going without electricity again and all of that will cost money that neither of us have….

Needless to say I was nearly on a plane out of the country on Wednesday to flee the situation. I went from disbelief straight to anger. 😡There is no more room for tears or meltdowns – those will come later, I’m sure. 😜

Luckily, M stayed reasonably calmed and walked me off the edge, so-to-speak. We came up with a plan that will happen for me no matter what. Our plan is to leave here by the end of March, early April. Perhaps we will come back now and then or at least I may until June as I am supposed to be starting a 200hr yoga training course next week, which finishes in June. I can come back for the weekends depending on where we are – hopefully. While we do not yet know our destination, we are narrowing down options: Philippines, France or Japan or somewhere in the US.

It is nice to at least have a decision made in that direction. Just hoping that wherever it is we will be in a much better place to get started and get out of this hole that we seem to be unable to get out of. 😔

My hope is that I can still maintain writing online and building up our new business venture. So, there is always still hope!

~T 😀

_Mornings in Jenin_ by Susan Abulhawa

Literary Escapes No Responses »

Jan 182017

_Mornings in Jenin_ by Susan Abulhawa

This month’s Book Club reading was this one, which I had never heard of nor of the author. Seriously, there are so many stories to be heard and read! 😅

Having just finished this book a few moments ago, I am still processing the whole story and trying to recall the 80’s when some bits of this story would have been in my lifetime….

The book is fiction, but is based on stories and experiences of the past for Palestinian Arabs and the Israeli conflicts starting from post-World War 2 until recent days. The story follows four generations of Palestinians and their struggle for survival. It is a story of women, love, war, family, history, community and humanity. A full explanation would be too complicated so will let you do your own Google search of a book review. 😉

With that said, I must say that it is one of the most moving and shocking stories I have read in a long time. I found myself near tears at different points and even a bit angry at the actions of the Israelis. 😡Although I do not know the history well, I do remember the news at the time of the constant Palestinian and Israeli conflicts. It continues today, though other wars and conflicts fill our TV screens. It amazes me how people go lifetimes suffering such great sorrow and living in constant fear. It really puts my life struggles into perspective. 😮

The book is well-written with some beautiful bits of prose especially towards the end. I highly recommend this as a read. I have not read anything so moving in such a long time and am so glad that the Book Club has exposed me to this book. 😍

~T 😀

Know Thyself

Going Mental No Responses »

Jan 172017

I cannot recall if I have already written about this topic recently as I know I have talked about it and written in my journal…. Honestly, age is hitting me, I think. It seems I am forgetting things more and more, even while I am talking words escape me so that I sound even dumber than I really am…. 🙁

Anyway, if I have written on this, feel free to comment and tell me I am going senile! 😛

Last week I came to a refreshed/renewed realization about my introverted tendencies. Two activities with social interaction is my limit on a daily basis. This means that I can do a lesson and one social engagement or a yoga session and one lesson with no social engagement, etc.

This became very clear to me when I had three interactions for two days in a row and by the third day I was completely drained, tired and my head was aching. While my extroverted husband had little to no sympathy for my state of mind, I did all I could to get through the third day by canceling a lesson and being thankful for a quiet evening to myself.

Yesterday, I spoke with my MRTTAD ladies about the life of an introvert as one of the ladies has a son who she was worried about until she learned about this introvert vs extrovert concept. As we were talking, I realized I had mistakenly planned three social activities again that day – including the lunch! 🙁

As would be expected, by the time we got home from my third interaction with others I was completely exhausted. Therefore, I was slow to motivate myself out of bed this morning to meet the MRTTAD ladies on the corniche for our weekly walk/run.

Instead, I also listened to my body and mind – which I am trying to do more and more. Thus, I cancelled going out exercising altogether calling it a full rest day since I feel tired overall. I went to my coffee meeting and then was blessed by the Universe by a cancellation of my evening lesson leaving only an event tonight. 😀

Now, I am able to catch up on emails, posts, etc. and rejuvenate my energy before going out again!

Although I may be deemed as stubborn, abnormal/weird, or even anti-social at times, I am okay with all of it if it means that I am energized and able to be as fully productive as I want to be at the end of each day. Knowing myself and what works for me is key to being healthy and happy within my own skin!

~T 😀

Podcast Fav 2: My Favorite Murder

Going Mental No Responses »

Jan 162017

To say I am addicted to this podcast might be an understatement. I love ❤️ this podcast so much.

I cannot recall how I heard about it but most likely this was another Paleomg recommendation from her lists. When I heard the very first episode I was not sure about it as it was extremely difficult for me to follow who was speaking and their extremely random tangents of conversations. However, it only took me about two more episodes to be hooked.

My Favorite Murder makes driving and cooking so much fun. The two hosts are hilarious and witty whilst talking about very serious and sad topics. Their fascination with these true crime stories – whether well-known or small and local – matches my own.

I mean if you were not fascinated by the Jon Benet-Ramsey killing in the 1990’s then this is not the podcast for you. However, if you found yourself or still find yourself wondering at the truth, well then listen to this!!! 😅

Or what about Jack the Ripper stories or local crime stories…? Morbid fascinations about the stories of the criminals and their victims….😳😬

So this is my latest favorite way to pass the time in the car or the kitchen. I have not listened to all of the past episodes but am current on the latest ones. Will be catching up on the others soon, but need to keep the variety going with what gets inputted into my brain. 😜

More listening fun to come!

~T 😀

Last Week Update

Going Mental No Responses »

Jan 152017

Well, after a focused week of posting last week on goals for the year based on my NYRs, I suppose I should update on a few discussions we had last week.

*It is looking more and more as if we will be leaving sooner than later from the desert. Our destination is still in negotiations depending on M’s prospects, but the Philippines has taken lead recently. We will continue to wait for more concrete details and offers.

*We are definitely going to move. Either today or tomorrow I will have a look at the one-bedroom apartments in the building and decide if we make that move or just give two-months notice on our lease to move out.

*This weekend (yesterday), I registered with a new business – more details to come on that in a following post this week.

*Life is picking up!

So, that is the update in brief. Will give more details as they come. 😀 Time to kick off the week anyway!

~T 😀

This Week’s Workouts (TWWs)

Going Mental No Responses »

Jan 142017

With the exception of one day, I managed to keep up with my workout schedule. Since I took an early rest day, I shall make up for it on Saturday; therefore, I’ll post what I did next week or if I manage to get to the gym before this post comes out, then I’ll update it then. 😉

Here it is:

Jan 8 (Sunday)

25′ 2.6km

28’42” yoga Sunday practice

23′ meditation

Jan 9 (Monday)

5′ elliptical warmup

4’08”- 20 burpees, 20 push-ups, 20 sit-ups

30 30kg total abdominal (crunch) x2

12 10kg pectoral press machine

20 1.25kg ab crunch x2

15 10kg shoulder press

100 ball sit-ups

5 sec arm hang/pull up x2

20 bar squats

20 free bar pulls

20 free bar push

Jan 10 (Tuesday)

6.99km 1hr10′ [3km walking with my MRTTAD ladies and then I ran 1.7km, walking the remainder home]

Jan 11 (Wednesday)

5′ Elliptical warmup

30 30kg total abdominal

30 20kg adductor

20 back crunch

10 side crunch (each side)

30 50kg leg press

20 bench leg lifts

30 ab crunch

11 burpees in 1′

100 ball sit-ups

1′ plank

Jan 12 (Thursday)

Rest day – I got up to go to the gym, but it was cold and dark out. My mind convinced my body to snuggle back into the warm bed and relax. It turned out to be an excellent choice at the end of the day. 😉

Jan 13 (Friday)

30 30kg total abdominal

100 ball sit-ups

2.5km in 23’11”

Jan 14 (Saturday)

Skipped….

New Year’s Resolutions: 6. Personal

Going Mental No Responses »

Jan 132017

We have come to the last of the major areas of life that affect our happiness – personal. Although it could be said that most or all of my goals shared so far are personal, what I mean here are other areas such as entertainment, hobbies, achievements, etc. The things I want and plan to do in the next year solely for myself as an individual human, woman and person on this great earth.

At the moment, I have not yet put these into time-chunks because we are not yet quite settled as to how long we are staying in the country or where we are going. Therefore, I have to limit some of the goals to things I can do anywhere and maybe anytime. 😀

*Continue with my pottery. I know I have not shared for quite some time my pieces, but I want to return to some consistency in my attendance (money permitted) and improve my skills. I am not sure if I will be able to continue this hobby once we leave, so I want to have a good base when I do go so that I can pick up again easily once we are settled again.

*Write, write, write. So, I put my major writing goals under the work post because I now consider some writing as a job (one that I love, of course), but I do have some other writing projects in mind. These include starting a couple more blogs – I know, how many does one person need?!

*I would like to crochet at least four or five blankets with my yarn scraps this year to get rid of the yarn that I have and then donate them to orphanages or hospitals for premies or something like this. Along with this, I would like to keep knitting and crocheting hats for cancer patients or maybe even figure out how to knit/crochet the boobs for breast cancer patients. Again, I can use up my yarn and keep myself productive whilst watching TV since I feel as if I have been wasting away my life a bit these days by just sitting…. 😛

*Travel – sadly I have not traveled properly since our Christmas holiday 2015….:( I did do a quick trip to Egypt, but it was for work and I did not stay to see anything. Therefore, in 2017, I hope to have one trip per financial quarter. So, I really want to see my BFF in Japan – ideally in the spring. Then, I am hoping for a nice summer holiday with the BDs (British Daughters) and hubby. By then, we should be planned to move, moved or nearly moved to somewhere new which will count as a trip! Then, in the fall/winter I would like to do a yoga retreat somewhere. Fingers crossed that we can also spend the winter holidays with both or one set of our families. 😀

*200-hr Yoga certification – I know I just finished by 300-hr one, but I have already agreed to do a 200-hr course starting in a couple of weeks here in Abu Dhabi. I shall be helping to teach it too, which is going to be wonderful experience. So, with the 200 on top of the 300, I will be able to register as a 500-hr teacher and then train to register my own school doing teacher trainings of my own, hopefully in southern France. So, these are important steps to building my long-term business vision.

*Try at least one thing new this year – whether this is SkyDive Dubai or kitesurfing or dancing or painting or whatever it may be, I really want to stretch my mind to try something I have not yet done but contemplated doing. M seems to think I need to take up painting, so maybe that will be it. Or, we both want to try kitesurfing, so who knows, but stay tuned!!! 😉

So, that rounds out the week of looking deeply into my New Year’s Resolutions for this year. I hope it was not too boring or over the top. God only knows if I will be able to maintain this focus or for how long, but I really believe every one of these goals is achievable. I will try to check in throughout the year to see how I am progressing. 😀

Thanks for joining me on this part of the year’s journey.

~T 😀

New Year’s Resolutions: 5. Family

Going Mental No Responses »

Jan 122017

Some might find it strange to have goals about family, but the truth is that family is often who we take for granted the most. Yet, they play such a vital role in ensuring that we feel supported, loved, encouraged and safe every day. So, I believe it is important to also create goals around how to foster our family connections.

Therefore, here are my goals for my family – some I mentioned yesterday as they also overlap with Relationships.

*Make sure I get to see my parents at least once this year – hopefully twice with a mother-daughter trip in there as it is my mama’s year. (As a side, I try to alternate years with a mother-daughter or father-daughter trip or outing to spend that QT I love with my parents. 😀 )

*Make a stronger effort to keep in touch with my brother – we message now and then on FB or text, but I would like to focus more and work harder at having regular contact with him because I feel we have drifted a bit in the last few years.

*Continue to be there for my new step-daughters in whatever form they may need me to be – a listening ear, a presence and support for their father, whatever is needed. 😉

*Spoil my godson more somehow…. 😀 He’s already 11!!! WTF?! So, he’s at the age now where he’ll remember doing things together or finding value in shared activities. Being so far away makes this a challenge, but I am sure there is a way.

*Connect better/more with my step-niece. She joined our family when she was 8 and then 8/9 years later moved away when my brother and her mother divorced. We have kept in touch, but as time has passed I have kept to myself, so I would like to make more effort.

*Stay up with my cousins – Thank goodness for FB!! If it weren’t for that, I would hardly ever know what was going on with my cuzes. Now, I can keep up more.

*Last but not least – my husband – we have agreed to have fortnightly (every two weeks) date nights to stick to. We are focusing on eating our meals at the dinner table without electronics to catch up with one another at the end of the day. I will continue to do all I can to love and support him in all areas of our life together. 😀

So…I think I have hit everything here. Not much more to say – I love my family!!! 😀

~T 😀

New Year’s Resolutions: 4. Relationships

Going Mental No Responses »

Jan 112017

These goals are getting a bit easier in topics now – at least for me. Phew! 😅

2016 presented a number of challenges regarding friendships and tested my introverted nature regarding relationships.

One of the best ways to weed out your friends is to have an expensive wedding 👰🏽😜. All kidding aside, many of our “friends” were proven not to be so by not bothering to show up even when they RSVPd or never RSVPing at all. Some even shared that they couldn’t attend but for reasons that we felt were not good enough to warrant not making an effort to attend our special day when we were supposedly good friends. So that was one way of defining friendships.

I lost two friends this year to drama and overreactions. One is the spouse of the other so by default we are no longer friends. Both of these people I let into my heart and inner circle, which is a big deal for me. Losing them was a painful process and there are times when I still ache for their friendships. However, truth hurts and the truth is that we were probably never really friends. Or at least not friends as I define them.

Once someone described me as like a dog. In other words, I am loyal and committed to those I call friends because there are not many that I let in fully. When I do, it is for life and I will defend them with fierceness – which I did many times for these two. Yet, it was clearly not reciprocated nor valued; therefore, it is best that we are no longer in each other’s lives.

What it has done, unfortunately, is to cause a divide and another weeding out of those who were mutual friends. Much like in a divorce – some people take sides, others distance themselves and others continue on being friends as before.

This experience has also been a bit of a blessing because with the thinning out of friends, or so-called ones, I made room for new ones to enter in.

Also, with my change of work, I have been forced to branch out and make new friends through networking and activities.

Now I have golf friends, AWN friends, walking/running friends, etc. Although these friendships are newly forged, I am excited to build upon them.

As I posted a while ago, I am continuing to find my tribe. So, although in an ideal world I would have my BFF, close friends, new friends and family all in one place, the life of an expat is not conducive to this as a reality. Therefore, thanks to blogging, Facebooking, Skyping and any other form of messaging I can stay up with my friends near and far.

So on to the goals – hard to do quarterly goals so will just list.

*Making sure I see my BFF at least once this year somewhere – fingers crossed for in Japan

*Organizing regular meet ups with friends whom I want to maintain a strong relationship with while we are still here.

*Making sure I see my parents at least once or maybe twice this year.

*Trying again to connect better with my brother.

*Really being selective of my time and energy on people who add to my life and positivity without draining me nor taking advantage of me nor taking me for granted.

So these are my relationships goals as it relates to family and friends. I think I do fairly well with my family aside from my brother so I will try more there. 😍

Tomorrow is 5. Family, so may be a bit shorter. Until then!

~T 😀

New Year’s Resolutions: 3. Finances

Going Mental No Responses »

Jan 102017

Okay, so this is a BIG one for me/us as 2016 was a massive financial struggle once I gave up work and the benefit of paid housing. Little did I know what a huge challenge it was going to be to work out housing on our limited income. Now, I am not saying that we/I were not total idiots to move into a crazily priced apartment, but it is a lovely place to live…. 😐

Along with some other challenges with our money that were a ripple effect of M changing his job in February last year, we have hit the lowest point I have ever reached in my adult financial life. Even saying that I do appreciate and feel fortunate that my idea of “low” is still quite high for some in the world.

Still, my bank account was actually closed in the US due to insufficient funds and negative balance – this account I have had since I was 12…. My US credit cards are in back pay and my school loan payments are also due. We also owe my parents money since they helped us out to pay for my work visa…. :/ On top of this, we barely make our local payments each month sometimes missing them only to have to catch up the following month.

Since I only make enough each week to cover our daily expenses, which is still plenty – and we have learned to spend much less daily – it is hard to cover some of the bills unless M gets paid regularly. During some months it is a challenge to have this consistency; therefore we have struggled.

Therefore, our goal for this year is:

*3 months – pay off all current debt and be caught up with at least 2 months payments ahead

*6 months – have enough cash in the bank to leave the UAE and move elsewhere with enough to make a downpayment on property wherever we end up

*9 months – be generating enough income from our various sources to be able to do the 50:10:20:20 rule (50% for living expenses; 10% for fun; 20% for short-term savings 20% for investment/retirement)

*12 months – have at least one property paid for that brings in income to perhaps pay for another property somewhere along with our continued plan above

Now, I do not know yet how this is going to happen as we are basically dependent on M to bring in the money. We will definitely be moving from our current apartment either in the same building but to a much smaller space within our means OR we will move to a completely new space either within country or out of country. More on that to come as we know more.

So, this is my brutal honesty about our financial situation without going into number details. It has not been an easy road and I have come to some major realizations through it all. While there is no point in having regrets, I do see/understand all that financial wisdom my parents tried to impart upon me years ago about saving, etc. It hit me mostly when a few people shared that they were buying houses since they had saved up enough since being here and I am completely on the other side of that…. I do not regret the travel that I did or the fun that I had, but I do kind of wish someone had managed my money for me! 😉

I take full responsibility for my life choices and decisions. I know I am at least half to blame for our current situation and I did not come into our marriage with blind eyes regarding M’s situation. I may have been blinded to or denying reality out of love or whatever, but I have faith and hope that this year will be our year to work ourselves out. Also, it gives me some satisfaction to think that once we are out of the mud, it will be due to both of our efforts and something that we have achieved and overcome together – making us stronger and better. Optimism!!!

So, I am sure I will be writing more about this as the year goes on, but here ends our financial goals for this year. Tomorrow we move on to 4. Relationships.

~T 😀

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