Tara

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Gratitudes Revisited

Jun 232016

So, I have been a bit stressed lately. Not sure if it comes out much in my writing here as I try not to divulge too much personal details of my life on a public forum – some might say I already share too much. However, despite it being summer holidays or my ‘retirement’ aka ‘transition period’, I have NOT been relaxing and enjoying the days very much. It is hard to transition multiple things all at once (job, home, marriage, etc.). 🙁

While I know that I am very blessed and have so much to be thankful for, I have lately found myself on the darker side of things. Instead of finding joy in the down time I have right now, I feel tense and frustration. Therefore, to give myself an energetic and spiritual kick in the arse, I am revisiting the challenge of Gratitudes. I did this about two years ago in August (do a search for ‘gratitude’ on the main page of the blog and you’ll see the posts), and I think it is time to do it again. Feel free to join me in your own way in finding a minimum of three things to be grateful for each day.

I am grateful for our friends who have provided us with a free place to stay for the past month until our new home is ready.
I am grateful for my husband who makes me smile and laugh every day despite our mini quarrels and snappish attitudes with each other due to our stress and temporary living situation.
I am grateful for the Internet to allow me to Skype with my parents, chat regularly with my BFF from afar, write on this blog, look up random information, and help me pass the time when I need a distraction.

The other night when I had had “the worst day of my life” I struggled to fall asleep after having a little self-pity cry session. However, when I forced my mind to focus on at least three good things that had happened that day, I relaxed and fell asleep very quickly. Bringing in the light and joy to life actually makes everything seem okay and not so unbearable. Thus, I want to keep myself centered on gratitudes as each day gets better and better. Besides, there really is so much to be grateful for in my amazing life! <3

~T 😀

Seeking My Voice….

Going Mental No Responses »

Jun 222016

Remember a few days ago I wrote about the Gong Bath Meditation? Well, in my meditation I had some visions that we focused on feeling the manifestations of their truths in our physical bodies. Since then, I have had a hard time meditating for more than 15 minutes at a time as I keep going back to trying to understand what my visions were. It is a little bit like trying to interpret dreams. So, I am going to write in hopes of perhaps coming to some understanding or some reader out there might have an idea…?

In part of the meditation, we were asked to see ourselves in the future. Well, I saw three versions of myself. It was like three faces on one head of my body. None were dominant, but all three faces were moving at the same time in one body.

Furthermore, I saw myself in the future as a published author touring around the world about my books. Yes, not just a book, but bookS! I was meeting people, inspiring people and sharing my stories of life. Any introversion that I may have felt was washed away in warmth of knowing and seeing that I was having a massive impact on others.

The latter of these two visions I can wrap my head around. The former…, well, I am still working on that.

Of course, it is easy to now say I should be writing. I just need to sit down and write – how hard can it be? Well…it is a lot harder than it seems.

First, I have not written properly in a very long time – years now. I have stories in my head, loads of ideas on topics and themes, but each time I sit to write, I lose my voice. Now, if I were giving an oral speech and I lost my voice, I would be not-so-secretly relieved. 😛 However, losing my voice in writing is not exactly ideal. Instead, I sit to write, I look at a blank screen or the few sentences and then…I go blank. Some call this writer’s block. I am reading _The Artist’s Way_ to help me with this, but still I am not finding my voice. One reason I have been trying hard to go this whole month with writing each day is to build up a routine and practice of writing at least something somewhere. However, I have a business website to build as well and yet, nothing is coming to me. I am searching for my voice…. 🙁

It does not help that it is Ramadan here and I cannot sit myself at a café all day sipping coffee or tea, people watching whilst intermittently immersing myself into a world of words. However, that might just be an excuse. Surely, I should be able to delve into the many voices in my head and capture just one long enough to write…. <sigh>

So, for now I find contentment in my blogging here. Random thoughts flow out to my fingertips and I am maintaining my journal daily. However, if anyone out there happens to find my voice, would you be so kind as to let me know? I would really appreciate it. In the meantime, I will keep searching…. 😛

~T 😀

Patient Strength?

Going Mental No Responses »

Jun 212016

The sayings go: “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.” or “Patience is a virtue.” I never really liked these phrases to be honest. 😛 They just felt like statements to appease one going through a tough time.

Yesterday was a trying day to say the least. Hours of my day were wasted waiting…. One thing after another continued to go wrong. I was ever so dramatic as to say “This is the worst day of my life!” (I guess I am doing alright if this is true…!) 😐

Most people would probably not describe me as the most patient person in the world. The idea of wasting time is a trigger point for me. I am not quite sure where it stems from, but it definitely winds me up and brings out the ugly in me. Part of it is a sense of having my freedom taken away from me, which is one of my greatest values. When I have to wait around for money to transfer, for someone to answer a question, for a store to open, etc. I am usually quick to complain. This is absolutely my selfish nature – don’t people know about MY time???

Furthermore, most people who know me know that strength is definitely something I have due to my life circumstances. Therefore, I no longer feel as if I need more…. Again, my own selfish nature coming out here. Now, this is not to say that I cannot or will not learn from my continued life experiences. It does say that my patience for needing to learn more wears thin on me…. For if I let my mind go to the dark corners, the questions that arise are “Haven’t I had enough trying times in my life?” or “When is enough enough?”

Ultimately, it is true. I did not die from yesterday’s trials. I probably got some strength in the form of patience. I still am not sure that it is a virtue of any kind to be patient, but I am open to the fact that everything does generally work out for a reason. So, I am trying to see the good in my five plus hours of wasted time when I could have been reading a good book sitting by the pool…. It just might take me a while to see it…. 😛

~T 😀

Open Communication

Going Mental No Responses »

Jun 202016

Today’s world allows us to be “connected” at all times. Yet, what is it that we are connected to?

We have the ability to message friends and loved ones around the world 24/7 and yet communication is still difficult for many of us.

To me, it does not matter how much technology we have or instant methods of communicating, if we do not actually communicate none of it really matters.

It seems that despite all our ways to ‘connect’ with one another, people are so over-saturated that when true, deep and meaningful connections are attempted to be made through open communication, it is received with so much more impact than when we merely had telephones and letters.

I recently lost a friendship because I was too honest and too open. Of course, I have already written about the form of communication not being desired; thus, exacerbating the problem. However, the truth is that being open about how I felt was what was really not desired. People no longer want to hear truths if they are negative. We only want to hear the happy stories, the feel-good stories, the ones that always have a “happily ever after” ending.

Because there is so much negativity in our virtual lives, we do not know how to handle it in our real lives. We no longer possess the skills to communicate openly with one another so that problems can be worked through and growth can be allowed on both sides. It has somehow become too scary or too overwhelming to be allowed to express ourselves in any form other than “see how amazing my life is” or “look at how happy I am”.

If we were all actually so amazing and happy, then why do we fight and often feel alone in the world? Perhaps it is time to disconnect a bit more often and learn how to openly communicate to those who are actually around us in our lives….

~T 😀

_Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth_ by Reza Aslan

Literary Escapes No Responses »

Jun 192016

zealot

_Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth_ by Reza Aslan

The author of this book appeared on The Daily Show about a year ago. As a student of religion and spirituality I was really interested in reading this despite its seemingly ‘academic’ nature for a pleasure book. 😛 (When has that stopped me before, right?)

Aslan writes about Jesus’ life, not as the Messiah, but as a man during the period in which he lived. Jesus is presented as a zealot who was then held up as the son of God by his followers.

This is really an interesting text considering the historical context, the Gospels which are accounts of Jesus’ followers, and the man himself according to others’ accounts. From a non-Christianity perspective, it is very informative and interesting to consider Jesus as a man rather than as the son of God. It is curious then to consider at what point and why it was then put into the New Testament that one must believe that Jesus is the Son of God in order to call oneself a Christian. Could it just be like any other religion adding on rules to join the “club”?

I think that this has continued to convince me that one particular religion cannot be THE religion and that we must focus on spirituality and foster love and compassion for others as fellow human beings. <3

Definitely a good read if you are into these kinds of things.

~T 😀

_My Story_ by Elizabeth Smart

Literary Escapes No Responses »

Jun 182016

_My Story_ by Elizabeth Smart

Although I do not really pay attention to the news and never really have, I do remember big stories, especially those around kidnappings or killings of children. I still follow the JonBenet Ramsey story even today.

So, when I saw this book, I only faintly recalled what it might have been about. However, as I read Elizabeth Smart’s account of her kidnapping, life during this time and eventual rescue, I was moved. What an amazing story and how incredibly sad and scared she must have felt. Yet, her outlook is positive and calm – or at least as portrayed in this book. She doesn’t condemn her captors nor even seem to send negative feelings towards them, which is admirable.

This is a story worth reading even if you do not know anything about it. We hear these kinds of events happening and maybe see them on the news, but rarely do we hear a grounded retelling of the story from the victims themselves. I was impressed and in a way it inspired me to reconsider more seriously telling my own story – though it has never been ‘newsworthy’.

In any case, I recommend it and hope that Elizabeth Smart continues to live a peaceful, loving life quietly.

~T 😀

_The Four Agreements_ by Don Miguel Ruiz

Literary Escapes No Responses »

Jun 172016

4agreements

_The Four Agreements_ by Don Miguel Ruiz

A while back a friend of mine gave me this book as she was required to read it for a leadership course she was taking.

Don Miguel Ruiz offers a great deal of wisdom in this book that is summed up by the image below:

agreements

Each one is explained in detail in the book, but living by these four agreements definitely puts a change on the lens in which you see other people, respond to them and live life in general. I believe there is a reason that number 1 is the first to work on as it seems to be the hardest for me. While I do generally try hard to be impeccable with what I say, I do find it easy to fall into gossip or to let loose a negative thought towards someone (especially driving on the roads in AD!). However, mastering this really allows for love and compassion to be present.

The other three are less challenging for me as coaching training has helped me with them previously. I am not saying that they come easily – just not as difficult as being careful with my words. 😛

Writing again definitely helps me to recenter and refocus on the words that I use and the effect they have.

So, as you go forward today, consider these four agreements, maybe even pick up this book and start to change your own lens of the world around you.

~T 😀

_NYPD Red 2_ by James Patterson

Literary Escapes No Responses »

Jun 162016

nypd2

_NYPD Red 2_ by James Patterson

I am not sure if I have written about the first NYPD Red book in the series, but I have now read the second one in the series. 😛

This new series is entertaining enough, though not meant to be overly enthralling I am sure. It was a good way to pass the time and I got through the pages quickly. So, that is really all one can ask for in a ‘holiday’ reading book, right?

Do I recommend it? Sure, why not? Patterson writes well in this one and so I will likely look forward to reading number 3. 😀

~T 😀

Where has the Humanity Gone?

Going Mental No Responses »

Jun 152016

It is generally my policy to not to keep up too much with the news. I rely on other people to tell me what I should know either on FB or word of mouth. My husband has what I deem an addiction to the news – he reads it every hour or more…. There is so much negative energy in the news that I choose not to fill my mind with such images or thoughts.

However, there are times when I do need to pull my head out of the sand and pay attention, form an opinion and participate in the global society. There is a massive storm brewing with the US presidential elections, shootings and unruly sporting behavior on a global scale.

While we could argue over the pros and cons of gun laws, more gun laws, or banning of guns altogether, we would be missing the greater and more important discussion. While we could argue over why one candidate is quite possibly the antichrist and the other is a seasoned politician who may or may not be ‘good’, we would be missing the greater and more important discussion. While we could argue whether one country of sports fans are worse than another’s, call names of each other, and so on, we would still be missing the greater and more important discussion.

What is the greater and more important discussion?

HUMANITY.

Where has the humanity gone when we have people who are willing to kill other people – no matter the reason, no matter the religion, no matter the country, no matter the WEAPON? Why are we in such a state of rage towards our fellow human beings that we think it is okay to kill? Why is it okay to discuss the killing of animals and then take action by turning vegan or vegetarian, but we do not discuss or rage over the killing of people and take no action against it other than to argue for laws/bans?

Where has the humanity gone when we allow – yes, we have allowed this to happen – a candidate who has proven time and time again that he is not the ideal representative of what the United States of America stands for? Why are we in such a rage against an African-American president that we will allow anyone to run in the race for the highest office of the country? Why is there so much hatred that we cannot discuss the real reasons why someone has risen to such power with very little other than money?

Where has the humanity gone when sporting events, which are meant to be gentlemen’s competition to celebrate talent, cooperation and unity, turn into battles of rage towards another person who supports their own team? Why do we think it is okay to support our teams the way we want, but cannot tolerate that other people are doing the same for their own?

WHERE HAS THE RAGE COME FROM?

There is so much anger in the world that we have lost our humanity. In losing our humanity, we have lost compassion, love and connection. It is no joke when I often say that people are assholes. I WANT to believe in the power of man and I WANT to see mankind rise above all this rage and nonsense. Yet, there are times when I take a step back and my heart aches and my soul cries at the mess that us humans are making of ourselves.

So, I hope in meditating and learning to calm my own mind and heart that I can inspire others to do the same. As the movement grows to be more mindful and connected, we all hope that the rage can be addressed, dissipated and resolved so that true humanity can return. <3

~T 😀

_The Psychology of Everyday Things_ by Donald Norman

Literary Escapes No Responses »

Jun 142016

psychology

_The Psychology of Everyday Things_ by Donald Norman

Over a year ago, a colleague recommended this book when we were having a philosophical talk about the world. It took me quite a while to get through the book, to be honest as it was written in 1988 by an obvious academic. Despite the very old looking pages and black ‘n’ white photos in the text, it was actually a very interesting read.

The purpose of the book is to understand how the design of everyday things in our lives can cause unnecessary confusion or waste of time due to poor design. Norman argues that in many cases the designers do not consider the end user. Or if they do, the design may be changed due to a companies decision to save money leading to an important loss for the user.

Some examples he provides are door handles. Ever been caught pushing instead of pulling despite the sign right in front of you that says to Pull? Or what about looking at a device with an instruction manual and not knowing how to make heads or tails of it?

Many of his examples resonated with me despite the old “age” of the technology cited as I remember thinking “How do I use this thing?” before.

As a bit of a ‘geeky’ person, it was a really good book. As someone who is left-handed, it also gives some satisfaction to know that I do have something to complain about! 😛

~T 😀

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