Dec 162008
 

You said you would be willing to try
When it comes time to say good-bye.

You said you wouldn’t share,
Does it mean that you really care?

You’ve told me of your family
And I find myself listening to you happily.

You allow for quiet moments to linger
Providing me with peace as I fidget with a finger.

You hold me close without a word
So that in just a short time, a night without you seems absurd.

My wall has not yet gone up, is it true?
My heart has not yet closed up, is it true?
My fear has not yet built up, is it true?

Is this really you? 

-T
~December 16, 2008

Dec 112008
 

It’s because we’re adopted

that we are

rushing to love
rushing to be loved
rushing to fit in
rushing to be accepted
rushing to be known
rushing, rushing

before it slips away

like our mothers
like our fathers
like our native land
like our native language

It’s because we’re adopted

that we long
to be loved
to be accepted

and to be allowed to just slow down…

-T

~December 10, 2008

Dec 102008
 

Each day passes taking me further away
Yet a part of me wants to stay
Close by just to see
What might be.

A look in the eye
Brings a smile and a sigh
For it’s quite a treat
To feel something so sweet.

What is this feeling?
Is it too soon to be dreaming?
How will I know if this is right?
Will it be worth a fight?

When I go
Will we know
If we want this to last,
Or is the time just too fast?

-T
~December 10, 2008

Dec 072008
 

A soft whisper
A gentle touch
A sweet caress
Is all that I desire.

A pleasant conversation
A sharing of hearts
A feeling of trust
Is all that I need.

A step closer
A heartbeat away
A sigh of contentment
Is all that I hope.

I desire a subtle sweetness that encaptures passion.
I need both a best friend and a lover to trust.
I hope for open arms to complete the circle of love.

– T
~December 7, 2008

Dec 052008
 

There’s a hole in my heart the shape of you.
There’s a sadness in my eyes that match you.
There’s a loneliness that fills my soul that is part of you.

All my life I have tried to find the love you gave to me.
All my life I have avoided my deep aching for you to know me.
All my life I have been wondering what is wrong with me.

Do I look like you?
Do I smile or laugh like you?
Do I act like you?

I love my life, but who am I?
I love my family, but who am I?
I love my work, but who am I?

Before I had a fantasy of you in a strange land
Before I had a dream I would speak to you and hold your hand
Before I had a hope of finding you….

But, Omma odie?

-T

~December 1, 2008

Dec 052008
 

What is this feeling?
What is this fear?
What is this I both desire and dread?

My heart remembers the pain
My heart still feels the wounds
My heart longs for love

I ache for tenderness
I ache for a soft whisper
I ache to trust

My spirit cries out
My spirit longs
My spirit no longer wants to go alone

Who can my heart beat for?
Who can stop the aching?
Who can protect my spirit?

Are you willing to take my heart and not break it?
Are you willing to hold me close and never let go?
Are you willing to love me body and soul?

-T
~December 1, 2008

Dec 052008
 

I haven’t had time to write on my story or anything, but lately I’ve been moved to write poetry again. It’s been a while … used to be something I did all the time and somehow I forgot or lost the poetry in my life. It seems it is starting to come back. I’m not saying it is good…not that it matters as writing is a window into one’s soul.

A walk in the sun
To get a breath of fresh air
Is how it was begun.

Connected as friends
Laugh and hang out together
Nosotros hablamos en espanol tambien!

Smiles, hugs and little chats
Made me feel comfortable to share
More than just my fear of ending up with just cats.

I have no expectations;
Desire no pressure or dramas,
Just am feeling good without any hesitation.

So, I continue to walk in the sunshine
Enjoying the warmth and ease of
Being with you, holding your hand in mine.

-T
~November 30, 2008

Dec 052008
 

Lexi felt a sense of pure joy as she looked at the end of the aisle and saw the man of her dreams standing and waiting for her. As their eyes met, they both smiled knowing that this was the beginning of the rest of their lives.

She smiled as she recalled that magical day just 5 years ago. Now, they had a little two-year old boy who was the reason for being for Lexi. Little Jj was taking his nap in the playpen as she tried to catch up on some work. Lexi had begun an online business selling hand-made items. She had met James when he contacted her about selling his hand-crafted boxes on her site. His work was amazing and they had both mutually benefited from the business.

Jj began to whimper as Lexi hit the send button on an email to a client. She reached down to pick him up, but he began to cry even more. Checking his forehead just in case, Lexi was alarmed to find his head burning up….

 Posted by at 09:46  Tagged with:
Sep 132008
 

My Japanese friend, her mother and I walk into a Coach store in New York City. Everyone is always very friendly in these stores because they want you to spend hundreds of dollars on their product – and I very much want to!

As a nice lady introduced herself, she asked where we were from and decided to guess. I laughed, thinking “good luck” and continued browsing. Her first guess for my friend and her mother was Malaysia. Unusual, but interesting. My friend politely said No and then said they were Japanese.

The nice lady was surprised and said, “I would have guessed she (pointing at me) was Japanese, but not you guys.”

My friend and I exchanged looks and laughter. The nice lady noticed and said, “So, where are you from?”

I politely replied, “From Oregon.”

“Interesting. I would have totally thought you were Japanese because you have such nice skin.”

My friend laughed and said, “That’s it! That’s why you are always confused, it’s the skin!”

Hm… is my thought. In fact, I feel a little disgrutled by my Korean heritage because aren’t Koreans generally better known for their beauty and skin? If they aren’t, why not? Most Korean women I see have much better features than Japanese women. No offense, but …

Anyway, this is the first reason that is starting to make sense for my mistaken identification.

 Posted by at 12:09  Tagged with:
Sep 082008
 

I arrived in the City on Friday after a 15 hour direct flight to Atlanta and then a short flight to JFK.

Since arriving I have gotten my hair cut and highlighted, had dinner with a friend from grad school, spent the day with another friend from grad school by having lunch, getting soaked by Hannah, going to MoMa, then went out with more friends in the evening, fallen asleep in a cab, gotten lost in Soho, had brunch with the same group of friends, walked around the village and Soho, saw a play at half price, watched the women’s finals of the US Open on Tv and figured out how to post on blogger from my iPhone.

So, you could say I have been busy! I still have a day left as well.

I miss this place. I feel like I can be me here and no one will judge me except if I don’t loudly claim to be and agree with all things Democrat! It is a place full of passion, culture, diversity, love, fashion, poor and rich, green and buildings, old and new – basically everything! I need to come back but we shall see where life takes me.

– T

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