Jun 182020
 

Wrote this about a month ago, but never got around to posting it. It hasn’t been edited, but came about in my morning meditation as I focused on my breath ~inhale here ~exhale now:

A newborn baby cries swathed in his mother’s arms;
She whispers, “I’m here with you right now.”

A toddler takes her tentative first steps and stumbles;
her father picks her up smiling, “I’m here with you right now.”

A child spills off his bike for the first time without training wheels;
his mother picks him up with a laugh, “I’m here with you right now.”

A teenager cries at her first broken heart;
her mother wipes away the tears with a hug, “I’m here with you now.”

A graduate pauses before his valedictorian speech;
his father proudly mouths, “I’m here with you now.”

A bride excitedly waits to walk down the aisle;
her father sweetly calms her, “I’m here with you now.

A dying mother looks at her family as they all say: “We are here with you now.”

~T πŸ˜€
May 20, 2020

May 012019
 

It seems suitable to kick off May and also restart my concerted effort to write regularly again with a challenge by #whyshewrites – as first noticed by a fellow writer @kamsinkaneko from #theslowpath.

I have been meaning to get myself back into the habit, but, well, excuses abound and one thing leads to another so that time passes without me sitting down to the computer and posting.

There are pages written in my journal, but it is not quite the same as processing it enough to post for general consumption.

In any case, here is first of the challenge:

Share the reason why you write.

When I first began writing, it was to remember what was happening in my life. Things were always changing, people were coming and going, but I could not keep it all straight in my eight-year-old mind. My memories were fleeting, which I somehow understood was not normal for my age.

Besides that, I did not have a lot of friends to reminisce with as they would get left behind whenever I had to move. So, writing became a kind of friend for me.

As time went on, I wrote for my sanity. I realized I was an introvert and people did not always understand me when I tried to verbally express myself. So, I took to writing.

In school, I found that my writing connected with people. Thus, it became the way my voice could be heard and a sharing of my personality.

Then, writing became a necessity. Without my journal, I would probably have jumped off the ship of life long ago. Even though no one will likely read all of my words, at least I get them out of my head in some form. It’s a way of processing and organizing my thoughts so that I can try to express the crazy in a way others might be able to comprehend. In this way, I can test out my random thoughts in a more ‘normal’ way.

These days, I write with the intention of building a discipline to eventually write the stories of my life experiences to share with the world. As I talk with more people, I have come to accept that my life has a uniqueness that might have some value in sharing with others.

Although my life is not yet structured in a way to write full-time (or maybe it’s another excuse?), I am trying to create the best structures and patterns (though it’s a constant struggle) to be able to reach my lifelong dream of writing the story of my life.

So, this is why I write.

~T πŸ˜€

Jan 142019
 

Cancerian Red Dragon. Oh, and I’m an INTJ.

You may not be a believer of horoscopes or zodiac characters or the Myers-Briggs personality types. You may be one to say that every horoscope or description of a ‘type’ can fit just about anyone. Or, you may just not like being typecast to fit into one stereotype.

The reality is that whether we like it or not, we do fit into certain sets of characteristics. Joseph Campbell is famous for creating archetype characters in his _The Hero with a Thousand Faces_ based on heroes from myths around the world. Many authors use this as a foundation for their literary heroes and antagonists.

We are humans and humans are such because we share common characteristics. This is not to say that we belong in boxes or an encouragement/promotion of stereotyping individuals. I do not condone or agree with such behavior, especially when it results in negativity and ignorant actions.

What I’m saying is that as far as a category of characteristics go, I’m an INTJ Cancerian Red Dragon!

The above probably sounds as if I am writing in circles, but let me go deeper.

As everyday normal human beings on this planet, we struggle to find the balance between being unique and fitting in.

In the west, we learn that we should be independent, free-thinkers, and forge our own destinies. In the east, we learn that we should be in harmony with others in a collective movement that stems back to tribal existences. Yet, in our global society, it is a daunting and overwhelming mental exercise to figure out what is the ‘best’ way to go about living our lives.

It has long been discussed that perhaps the ‘exotic’ Eastern ways are more in tune with our true selves. If we consider the poignant role of social media, the need to find our ‘tribes’, hashtags to unite us, etc., then perhaps there is some truth to the fact that a collective way of life is the more natural and preferred way for a healthy and balanced existence – not to say that we, as a global society, are anywhere near achieving this.

Since I was eight-years-old, I knew that my life was ‘different’. Aside from the obvious fact that I was an international adoptee who clearly did not look like her family, I had a less traditional path to get to the eventual settling of my life into a ‘normal’ childhood. When I acknowledged that I was finally living what most considered to be the norm, I realized that perhaps there were others out there like me, who did not know that they weren’t alone on the paths that were before them. Therefore, I decided I wanted to write. I began journaling to remember what I knew I easily forgot and to take note of what was seemingly the mundane actions of my day to days.

As time passed, I veered away from this dream of writing for others and sharing my life with those who may be like me or those who were so extremely different from me that my life may seem unbelievable. However, now that middle-age is settling in and the sense of not giving a ‘fart’ about others’ opinions is dominant, I return to making this dream a reality.

My sense of wanting to fit in is no longer an issue. The chip on my shoulder that I carry about being unlike others has gotten smaller – not gone, but less burdensome to myself. πŸ˜›

Still, as a friend of mine wrote to me recently about the struggle to find good friends, it is a challenge to find like-minded individuals or just people who are not so completely consumed in themselves or their lives to share a bond with. Those I have found mean more to me than I am able to express (though I should probably try harder!).

So, I return to defining myself in the horoscopes, zodiacs, and Myers-Briggs. If you read this, or this, then you might see what I mean. Or, you might not.

For me, at least it is a kind of crutch I can use to understand myself a bit better. It helps me to rationalize why perhaps I do actually think differently than most and I’m totally ok with that fact, even perhaps proud of it. It helps me to have confidence in my life choices and experiences. Mostly, it helps me to realize that there is perhaps a real place for my writing and a perfect timing for it to become a lifetime reality to share it with the world.

This is all to say, stay tuned for more regular posts – for real in 2019 – and a promise that within this year, I will either be self-publishing or looking to publish a couple of books about life from my eyes as The Universal Asian (coming soon!).

~T πŸ˜€

Oct 042017
 

Although I have been quiet here with my up and down pattern of writing or promising to write regularly again, I did manage to get an article written last month for April Magazine.

This is the beginning of a series that I will be writing on Spiritual Wellbeing.

In some ways it is rather ironic given my life has gone topsy-turvy lately, but then again perhaps it is just the perspective I need to be able to write something worthwhile for readers. It also seems to be a good catalyst for getting me back on track so that I am not a writing hypocrite. πŸ˜›

In any case, it’s a new month. Fall has arrived and I am coming to terms with the concept of ‘cool’ and ‘cold’ that does not involve a blasting AC system. πŸ˜‰

Still much ahead and the wheels continue to turn in my head with ideas and more ideas and more ideas!!!

~T πŸ˜€

Aug 112017
 

We move in circles
-Around the sun
-Around each other
-Around ourselves

We walk in winding paths
-Towards our fate
-Towards that pot of gold
-Towards the grave

We rush through life
-searching for success
-searching for love
-searching for ourselves

We talk
-in circles
-in winding paths
-in a rushing of life

Yet we end up where we started, lost on our paths, talking about nothing as life rushes us by.

What have we found?
What have we missed?
What have we achieved?

~T
August 10, 2017

 Posted by at 04:35
Nov 272016
 

Just two days ago I wrote about my upcoming article on Aprilmag.com. Well, it was published without my realizing it and is now up on the magazine page!

It feels good to be writing regularly again and I feel as if each time I am upping my game a bit. It gives me confidence again about writing and looking for other ways to generate income doing it. THIS is my dream, after all….

So, I do have my next assignment and need to get myself moving on that. Plus, I am going to look at some other options for writing or generating income on blogging…. Stay tuned for that!

In the meantime, enjoy what April Magazine has to offer. πŸ™‚

~T πŸ˜€

Oct 012016
 

Remember when I posted about my first paid and published article

Well, the second one is online now!

It has a slightly different theme than the first as I do not always want to seem as if I am negative about being Asian and perceptions held of my ethnic background. πŸ˜‰

It is exciting to have this opportunity to write fairly freely about issues that are close to my heart. 

The next one is mulling around in my head and may be back to familiar themes. πŸ˜›

Hope you enjoy!

~T πŸ˜€

Mar 222015
 

The way that I manage to get a lot of reading done aside from a few pages before bed is by exercising on the treadmill. Lately, the weather has been rather grey and windy as the heat slowly moves into the city, so I’ve been back on the ‘mill to burn off the days’ tensions. Although I was just doing yoga twice a week and it seemed enough, I’ve realized that isn’t actually the case. I need to both distract my mind and burn off steam daily. Yoga brings me some quiet, but it’s not enough release of the buzz of my brain – especially on busy or stressful days. Usually, swimming is a good alternative as well, but since the weather has been ‘cool’ I haven’t quite got back into that routine yet. Thus, I’m on the ‘mill.

So, I’m reading this book called The In-Between by Jeff Goins (read him before and a write-up of this one to come when I finish). In the chapter I read today, he talks about how he realized his calling to write – which led to the question of whether or not one is gifted with certain predilections for life than others. As Goins writes, he knew that he was meant to write early on, I knew I was meant for writing when I was eight. There was absolutely no reason for me to feel this way, but something inside of me said that I needed to write – to share my life stories.

What is interesting about this is that just like when I do not exercise, when I do not write I feel tense and un-grounded. I lack focus when I haven’t written in my journal or had a blog post. It seems to be the one way that I can express myself clearly without fear of being misunderstood or censored for my words. It’s the one way that I am taken seriously without offense or interruption to be told that I am wrong for my thoughts. It’s the one way that I am heard. And, I am satisfied.

Although I have swayed like an out-of-sync pendulum back and forth on whether or not writing is really a part of my life, I need to truly come to terms with this reality – I AM A WRITER. I need it to write like I need to breathe. I need to write to exist. This is my calling above all other things that draw my attention or offer unknown even unreal promises. This is my calling.

Now, if only I had a clearer idea of how to make this central rather than peripheral to my life….(guess that’s another post!).

~T πŸ˜€

Oct 312013
 

Where is my voice?
– I hear it buried deep within.

Who is my voice?
– She is a woman with strength and courage to be heard.

How is my voice?
– It is quiet but strong, if only the world would be still enough to hear it.

Where is my voice?
– It is beginning to return to the top.

Who is my voice?
– She is someone finding herself again.

How is my voice?
– It is firm and confident in what it wants to say.

Where is my voice?
– I am here.

Who is my voice?
– I am.

How is my voice?
– Crystal clear.

~T
October 30, 2013

 Posted by at 03:45
Jun 282012
 

_You Are A Writer: Β So Start Acting Like One_ by Jeff Goins

A friend of mine on Facebook posted a link to this book and the writer in me decided I should read it! Lucky for me, it also happened to be free on Kindle and after about two short hours of reading, I completed it feeling inspired.

One of the first and most important steps that Goins impresses upon the reading is to say “I am a writer” and then to ensure that one writes every day until it becomes a habit that happens without thought or effort. He explains how fear is such a great factor in a writer’s decision to ‘dream’ of writing rather than actually writing. Goins goes on to further explain ways to get yourself out there as a writer and then to eventually get published. It makes the possibility of being a successful writer who contributes something to the artistic, literary and greater worlds a reality rather than a pipe dream.

The truth is that I’ve always been a ‘dreamer’ and less of a writer. I go through phases where I really focus on my writing and take the proper steps to move forward toward the ‘dream’, but then I am easily distracted or demotivated, so that it remains just a ‘dream’. However, I hate it when people complain or wish for things that are fully within their means to do something about. I recall my friend telling me sometime last year that being a writer is something that I can do and so I should just do it. That motivation lasted a bit of time, but again I got distracted and it was pushed to the sidelines. Now that it is holiday time again and I force myself to take a step back from all other distractions, I find my heart winding its way back to writing.

So, I have joined a new travel blog and agreed to start contributing to the site with my travel stories. Also, I have entered the Twitter world of writers under my pseudonym and will try to start making a presence in the world of writers in hopes of making this attainable dream come true!

πŸ˜€ -T

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