Writing – Creative Meanderings

Personal Writing Retreats Are Back!

Oct 042024

For some reason, I stopped going away on my own mini writing retreats. Perhaps, it is because we have been traveling so much. Perhaps, I thought that it was too much of a personal luxury. Perhaps, I just forgot that they had a purpose beyond just the writing focus.

After having just gone on one last week, despite the busyness of our lives between events and trips, I am recommitted to reinstating them regularly into my schedule. I have already tentatively planned them every six weeks or so for the next year. Even my todo list has been scheduled for when to plan the next retreat.

I recognize this is a major luxury to be able to afford such a thing in both time and money. Still, I plan to make the most of it because I can.

Let me share the benefits.

We lead busy lives, by our own making, but nevertheless it is busy. M has a combination of personality and work that is at a high energy level, which can be overpowering and encompassing of everyone or everything around. This includes me. I’m sure that I have written on this before, but like Will Smith wrote in his autobiography, it’s get on the M train or move out of the way!

Being on the M train is fun and worthwhile, but every now and then I need to get off and walk alongside at my own pace in my own way and in my own direction. Sometimes, I feel lost in the chaos so that I feel unseen and without meaning. Therefore, taking time away for myself and for my writing is beyond refreshing – it’s rejuvenating. My own energy cup refills and I reconnect with myself so that I can return to the fast lane feeling whole again.

On top of that, I get a lot of writing done. It resets my creative brain so that I can let the words flow that get stored up, or blocked, during the thinking process when I don’t have enough time to sort through all that is going on. So, I am able to produce and release in a productive way.

This past mini writing retreat was combined with a couple of town, visits as I am trying to check out for myself some of the major towns in the Umbria region, as I write my third Umbria on a Whim book. Although I am not necessarily writing how I feel about the towns, I can get a sense of what they are like and what they might have to offer allowing me to write notes to include in the text. So, I headed to Narni and, by chance, a second visit to Terni.

These towns are just an hour away from home. I stayed in an agriturismo (agriculture tourist) hotel, which was average, but quiet and nicely located for what I wanted.

I got writing done and, as I said, my cup is refilled.

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Path to Writing

Going Mental, Writing No Responses »

May 062024

I’m sitting here with a stack of printed pages that mark various expressions of my written work. One is a draft of the poetry book I want to publish, but need to read them to find themes and possibly re-order or reword. The other is a mere 82 pages of my novel that is finally back in the actionable part of my brain to get on the forward moving track of progress again.

While I generally try to save paper and keep most of my writing in electronic form, there does come a time when the physical print out cannot be beat. Now is that time.

With the poetry, it’s because I need to see how the poems are laid out and how they might read with spacing. As I want to consider how the page might look with possible images or combining some of the shorter ones on one page, etc. There’s more to a poetry book than meets the eye. Plus, poetry as a published form is new to me even though I have been writing poems for almost as long as I can remember writing in general.

For the novel, well, I think that my spontaneous method of writing has finally become a blockage where I forget where I left off in the various threads of the story. If I have it on paper, then it is easier to revert back to where I was. I also have bits of the stories written out in other documents, but I cannot keep track of whether or not I already included that in the main thread. So… with the printing out of it on paper, I am also returning to my software program where I can keep the flow outlined even if I am not necessarily writing it out in that order. If I can maintain a balance in being organized and letting the story come, then I think I can maintain my forward motion in getting this story on the page. I really need to get it out as I have many more stories in my head waiting in line to be allowed their moments.

So, it’s a wonderful way to start the week. In fact, starting my day with the writing made a difference since I usually start with “work”, otherwise known as the paid stuff. However, as I’m starting to consider a new creation of my creative activities, I am prioritizing my own work first knowing that the paid side-jobs will always get done anyway.

Will try to update as I progress.

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Yoga Writing Retreat

Going Mental, Writing No Responses »

Apr 292024

For some time, I have been thinking about going on a retreat for myself. I hadn’t been on one since my yoga teacher training program when we went to Bali for a week. At that time, I didn’t love the retreat experience, but was very glad I had done it.

Since arriving in Italy, I’ve made some amazing friends yet not quite felt fully integrated with them on an intellectual and spiritual level. Thankfully, I’m starting to get to know my weekly yoga classmates more , but these things take time. Also, occasionally, I look at emails received about retreats in the area or see them posted on acquaintances’ social media. However, I struggle to justify paying over a grand – either USD or Euros – for something I’m not sure I will enjoy or with people I don’t know I will like, especially if I could spend that money going on holiday with M or even a personal retreat to somewhere.

So, it was the Universe’s answer to my inquiry on something more reasonable as well as if I can make some like-minded friends on a deeper level, when I received a random email about a yoga writing retreat to be held within 1.5 hours away from home.

Although I was a bit nervous about it, I went with an open mind and heart.

Having returned, I can’t believe how fast the three days went by and how relaxed I felt amongst total strangers. We all came from different places in life, but were united in our interest in yoga and writing.

I’m very proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone, opening up with my writing, and listening to my heart. Through this experience, I have more confidence in my writing ability and feel more motivated to do what I love most – write stories and poetry!

If you’re ever unsure about doing something like this, let me know because I’ll convince you to go for it!

Here’s a poem I wrote for our closing circle:

Before I came, I admit this retreat idea was terrifying
As an introvert, life outside my head is mystifying

However, of like-minded friends l am in need
So, with trust in the Universe, I followed her lead

What could be better than a combination
of yoga, writing and fellow female inspiration?

To Elizabeth with gratitude
Thank you for your beautiful attitude
Toward the forming of our words
And the open spirit of letting us be heard.

To Amity with grace
Namaste for creating a sacred yoga space
For stretching our bodies and minds,
But, dang all those binds!

And Ria, whose next move stands on the brink
I see you in shades of sweet pink

Oh lady in orange, Lauren
A word I’d never use for you is “borin'”

For Eva, there are shades of green
In heart and spirit, we understand even if not knowing what all our words mean

Not just your hair, but red for Mariella
As grounded and sweet, Che bella!

Let’s not forget Martin
After all that delicious food, a diet I have to now be startin’

So with a warm heart
I’m sad we will soon be apart
But I won’t be a sap,
Thank goodness for WhatsApp!

~T 🔥🐉♋️

It’s Happened!

Creative Meanderings, Writing 2 Responses »

Mar 072023

Well, I did it! 🎉

Although I hadn’t expected this one to be my first book, I am not complaining. My dream of being a published author is now a reality, and it feels amazing!

Even though I’m not particularly a perfectionist, I do have doubts about how it will be received, but I start with a disclaimer that I know there is room for improvement. The main thing is that I actually started and completed a writing project for the first time – on my own. As in, no editor to push me forward.

The process was relatively smooth and with the help of a self-publishing company, it was easy enough to get it on Amazon. Right now, only the e-book is available, but the paper version is coming soon – probably this week.

Best of all, all profits go to me! 😅

So, I am now motivated to keep going with more in the series – it is meant to be a series. Also, I will keep working on my fiction book and other writing endeavors for publishing in magazines and the like.

Nothing like a little success to whet the appetite for more! Stay tuned!

~T 🔥🐉♋️

In the clouds

Writing No Responses »

Nov 062022

When we are above the clouds
The sun shines and the sea of white
Rolls to eternity

The soft pillows of fluff lay the ground
For the angels to roam and play
It is a small piece of heaven that
We can touch

In a plane
In our dreams

Inevitably we must descend
The puffs stretch into wisps
Then turbulence hits
As our view becomes blocked

We are blinded into a fog
No end can be seen
We can only bounce around
Bumping along waiting for the eventual clearing

Then we pass through
Our fears of the unknown no longer legitimate
For we continue to fly
Soaring toward our destination with relief
With excitement

The clouds that were just below
Are now above
Their cover is a promise
As the angels look down
Like a blanket and lid of protection

We continue on
Leaving the clouds for
Another day

~T October 26, 2022

A poem: Life Just Is

Writing 1 Response »

May 052022

Life just is – a wandering of this world
trying to discover what will unfurl.

Life just is – a string of experiences
some good, some bad, some open doors, others fences.

Life just is – a chance to learn
about ourselves, about others, about on what we should concern.

Life just is – but a brief moment
and of what is beyond us, we only have a hint.

Life just is – the here, the now
and each day, I simply try to survive it somehow.

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Happiness in May

Creative Meanderings, Writing No Responses »

Aug 032021

Happiness is the waking of the dawn
when the birds sing their song
to catch their bugs and worms,
when the air is fresh and there are no terms
when it’s quiet before human activity begins
to overwhelm and override their sins.

Happiness is that feeling of familiarity
seeing the world with comfortable clarity,
knowing what’s around the bend
and hoping the peace never ends.

Happiness today is the sense of release,
the built up stress can temporarily cease!

Happiness today is the sun shining through the wind,
sitting in the warmth of its rays welcoming whatever the universe will send.

Happiness today is the yoga mat
where one can be sat
focusing on breath, body, and alignment
with the mind, soul, and physical to find a balance and be content.

Happiness today is being present in the here and now
without worrying about the what, when, or how;
breathing in, breathing out; I am here, now.

Happiness today is my morning cup of coffee
what lies inside and ahead we cannot yet see,
but that is what makes the adventure;
creating our greatest future.

Happiness today is companionship and love
in the form of soulmates and kindred spirits sent from above;
through laughter, food, and wine
we shall enjoy the passing of time.

Happiness today comes with a purr,
the warmth and softness of their fur;
patiently waiting for me to wake
for the food they are dying to partake.

Happiness today is in the rain coming down
as it means a period indoors aside from a quick trip to town;
cats are napping thanks to the grey,
but even that makes me smile, I have to say!

Happiness today is the cup of English Breakfast tea
made as part of the morning routine for my husband and me;
it’s the compromise of our blending – English and American –
first there’s tea, then coffee, sometimes made by me and sometimes by my man.

Happiness today is the adrenaline rushing
in preparation for nearly 200 people watching
an online event for adoptees,
who were all sent overseas.

Happiness today is the feeling of making a difference
when another being can sense
they are not alone,
but through their tribe, are at home.

Happiness today is the color green
and the gift of all that can be seen;
sometimes we miss or take for granted
a view that may be slanted
on the spectrum toward grey,
but there are so many colors in a day.

Happiness today is feeling awake
besides getting up early by mistake,
with a restless night’s sleep,
a nap in the afternoon sun will be no leap.

~T 😀

Hello There, It’s Me!

Going Mental, Writing 2 Responses »

May 272021

Below is a piece that I wrote in a short three-week “Adoption Writing Experience” class that I have been taking. Today is sadly the last of the series, but it has made me fall in love with writing again. So, thank you, 🙏🏽AP! 💞

“Within two days on my own, I feel as if I’ve let out my breath from holding it for the past 16 months. My husband is lovely. He’s a cheerful labrador, but I prefer to liken him to a poodle on crack. His energy consumes while mine diffuses. As I exhale, he inhales, but I inhale his exhale.

As a couple, the teeter-totter balancing act is what keeps the adventure of life going; sometimes one is up, others times it’s down. However, like being at the bottom while trying to carry something up a flight of stairs, the weight can become heavier and heavier.

I think now, this was me over the last couple of months.

Perhaps Lady Universe heard my sighs and heavily whispered pleas for a break, because I finally have found a way out of the heavy load. My breath can be my own again.

Solitude and quiet recharge me. It’s in the quiet that I can filter the noise and find my own voice. Like sifting through the cereal box to find the special toy, I need space to pour out the box and move the marshmallows and bits that distract from the prize.

When I can write and hear my own voice, I can be what I need to be for others. When this is overridden, I struggle and all the other voices in my head start to make me feel like I’m going crazy.

So, it is nice to say Hello to me again and to let myself know that I’m not losing my mind, but rather finding it again.

My resolution for when my lovely bouncing ball of energy returns is to gently let him know that I need the space and time daily to hear myself so that we can continue to teeter-totter together with joy rather than let the burden get heavy again.”

———————

I wrote this last week and then M came home. It was a strange feeling having him back as four days was just enough for me to get into my own rhythm and settle into my ways. There was an inner turmoil in me that I had to observe as I think that I had an increased load on my sympathetic nervous system. 💪🏽🏃🏽‍♀️

Inside, I felt unjustifiably bitter that I was letting go of my newfound routine just because M was back. However, logic and reasoning returned to remind me, “Tara, you’re an adult, nothing is stopping you from doing what you want. Just be reasonable.”

So, I did.

My yoga and meditation time returned easily. My writing time, though, still needs some work to compromise on the head/energy space. We both like to be outside in the sun when we can, but he likes/needs to talk or have noise and I do not. Therefore, a schedule is probably needed on my part so that I can find that quiet space, whether in the sun or not, and still have time to enjoy the extroverted lifestyle each day.

In any case, I’ve been given another couple of days of quiet to keep working on the balance and defining the priorities. So, thank you Universe! 😇☀️🙏🏽

~T 😀

Here, Now

Writing No Responses »

Jun 182020

Wrote this about a month ago, but never got around to posting it. It hasn’t been edited, but came about in my morning meditation as I focused on my breath ~inhale here ~exhale now:

A newborn baby cries swathed in his mother’s arms;
She whispers, “I’m here with you right now.”

A toddler takes her tentative first steps and stumbles;
her father picks her up smiling, “I’m here with you right now.”

A child spills off his bike for the first time without training wheels;
his mother picks him up with a laugh, “I’m here with you right now.”

A teenager cries at her first broken heart;
her mother wipes away the tears with a hug, “I’m here with you now.”

A graduate pauses before his valedictorian speech;
his father proudly mouths, “I’m here with you now.”

A bride excitedly waits to walk down the aisle;
her father sweetly calms her, “I’m here with you now.

A dying mother looks at her family as they all say: “We are here with you now.”

~T 😀
May 20, 2020

#WhySheWrites

Going Mental, Writing No Responses »

May 012019

It seems suitable to kick off May and also restart my concerted effort to write regularly again with a challenge by #whyshewrites – as first noticed by a fellow writer @kamsinkaneko from #theslowpath.

I have been meaning to get myself back into the habit, but, well, excuses abound and one thing leads to another so that time passes without me sitting down to the computer and posting.

There are pages written in my journal, but it is not quite the same as processing it enough to post for general consumption.

In any case, here is first of the challenge:

Share the reason why you write.

When I first began writing, it was to remember what was happening in my life. Things were always changing, people were coming and going, but I could not keep it all straight in my eight-year-old mind. My memories were fleeting, which I somehow understood was not normal for my age.

Besides that, I did not have a lot of friends to reminisce with as they would get left behind whenever I had to move. So, writing became a kind of friend for me.

As time went on, I wrote for my sanity. I realized I was an introvert and people did not always understand me when I tried to verbally express myself. So, I took to writing.

In school, I found that my writing connected with people. Thus, it became the way my voice could be heard and a sharing of my personality.

Then, writing became a necessity. Without my journal, I would probably have jumped off the ship of life long ago. Even though no one will likely read all of my words, at least I get them out of my head in some form. It’s a way of processing and organizing my thoughts so that I can try to express the crazy in a way others might be able to comprehend. In this way, I can test out my random thoughts in a more ‘normal’ way.

These days, I write with the intention of building a discipline to eventually write the stories of my life experiences to share with the world. As I talk with more people, I have come to accept that my life has a uniqueness that might have some value in sharing with others.

Although my life is not yet structured in a way to write full-time (or maybe it’s another excuse?), I am trying to create the best structures and patterns (though it’s a constant struggle) to be able to reach my lifelong dream of writing the story of my life.

So, this is why I write.

~T 😀

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