The country of India has always held a fascination for me. From the extremes of the shanty towns, slums, to the Bollywood richness, with spiritual spaces, ashrams, to rituals in the Ganges River and festivals of colors and lights, I’ve been curious.
On the other hand, stories of violence against women, the expression of the caste system, and images of extreme poverty have made me fear visiting.
Add to that stories of getting “Delhi belly” and the level of dirtiness, I admit that despite the experiences shared in Shantaram or Slum Dog Millionaire, I haven’t been certain of making a reality in a visit to this place.
Yet, when the chance to go came up, I felt both excited and uncertain.
We were lucky to be invited, which provided us the luxury of a more comfortable tour of one of the northern states – Gujurat. The city was Rajkot.
It was less crowded than how I imagine Mumbai or Delhi to be, but the functional chaos that allows the traffic to flow, people to live, and life to exist was an experience in itself. There is constant noise as horns honk in a form of communication that informs how to move. Riding the taxi tuk tuks was exhilarating although inhaling the dust that kicks up is not an ideal long term activity. Still, one is reminded that just because we have a different way of doing things doesn’t mean that it is the only one.
For the engagement and wedding ceremonies, I was interested in the fact that often the spectators were talking or singing amongst themselves appearing to not be concerned about the activities happening between the bride and groom or their inner family members. Yet, somehow everyone knew when it was time for them to go up to offer their gifts or do the blessings that rituals required. Some moments appeared more for a photographic purpose than for ceremony, but it all worked.
Somehow, there appeared to be a balance of the spiritual rituals of the inner circle and the observing activities of those around. Although full attention is not given like in our Western ceremonies, the importance of the activities are not less felt. In fact, in some ways it was less stressful for the guests when there was freedom from formalities and forced etiquette.
What struck me most of the colorfulness of the people’s clothing and spirits that redirected the eyes from the dusty brown of the roads and buildings. While one might consider some views to be depressing and bland, it could not reasonably be said about the people, their food, or the fabrics.
Gujurat is a fairly modern state. It is dry – alcohol free – and vegetarian. Brahma cows, goats and dogs wander the streets freely knowing they were not in danger of their lives or disturbance of the daily flow. The family we came to know treated us like honored guests, which made us feel privileged even if it also raised their level of importance/status amongst extended family and friends.
Finally, on a side note, it was worth the observation of M who found himself amongst others who looked like him for the first time in his life. When he let go of his protective air that he has held for so long, he found himself enjoying being a part of the flow. It’s a similar feeling I have when in Hawaii or amongst Asians who also have an American/Western element.
We continue to discuss that the experience is still beyond full and adequate words. It’s really hard to express properly the place that truly touched the soul. We also shared different awakenings in the short week that we were there, yet bond over not necessarily needing the elocution of words that limit what we felt. It definitely feels like a once in a lifetime experience. It was an honor for us to be included in the wedding celebrations. We gained stronger connection to these young people who were more colleagues to M than friends.
Will we go again? That remains to be seen. I feel that I still want to experience the fullness of a big city like Mumbai or Delhi. I think I would still like to go on a tour to see Jaipur, the Taj Mahal, and understand more of the cultural elements of the country. However, if I don’t, I will cherish this trip always.
~T 
, he still comes from a history in India. Although he has never really been keen to embrace his genetic and cultural roots, he accepted the challenge to come on this trip. Plus, he loves a wedding! 
, it remains this way for the rest of the week.
