I think of myself as an old-soul. Emotions have never been on the surface for me; thus, the expression of them has always been tame. I greatly dislike a show of emotions to the point that I will cry from frustration at feeling so angry at something or someone, but don’t want to express it. I rarely cry at all unless it is in Sex in the City when Big doesn’t get out of the car or a flash mob or standing ovation that expresses moments of unity among people. Otherwise, even the sappiest of romance films can leave me dry-eyed. I do not like comedies for the expected outbursts of laughter, generally speaking.
However, as I get older and the more time I spend with M, the more emotional I have become. Now, let me just say, when I say I get emotional, it’s more like the slow burn of a heating teakettle rather than the constant bubble of a boiling pot. Still, I have found that lately I’m actually funny. I mean, I say witty things and people laugh. Not just my husband, but actual real other people! π€£π There’s no increase in crying, though – thankfully! π
Despite all this, I continue to have a rather limited tolerance for drama. In fact, since I returned from the States, that has decreased even more, or so it seems.
My partner is not quite the same. Perhaps an understatement…
Where I am stoic, he is dramatic. Although we are not opposites in all things, he definitely likes outbursts of laughter and sappy rom-coms far more than I do. Thankfully, he appreciates a good crime show.
So, some days are a test of my patience and self-control to not bite back when his dramatic flare is at its height. The other day, he called me from downstairs asking for some paperwork. It wasn’t so much a request as a demand because he needed it NOW, except he didn’t. He lamented with great self-importance that he had so many messages to respond to with a tone that suggested I needed to drop everything to meet his demands. You can imagine how well that went down. π€ͺ After a calm reply of what I was willing and able to do to help him, he registered the controlled tone of dismissal to his ego-boast and adulted all by himself. ππ
In a later conversation, I suggested that perhaps he didn’t need to be so dramatic. He countered with his usual deflective responses. I listened and laughed, but let’s just say “he’s been managed” ππ!
In this year of SELFishness, my desire to reduce drama is high on my list. We’ve done a few years in M’s way where drama is the motivating factor. Now, I’m going to focus on turning that down a few notches where drama has a purpose, but is no longer a way of life! Wish me luck! π
~T π₯πβοΈ
