Nov 152024
 

I may have left it too long for my memory to recall our/my latest trip to New York City. It was nearly a month ago now and it seems that despite my promises to update about the trip, I have only just now remembered. Guess that’s part of the brain fog era of life that I am in. Anyway, let me see what I recall.

First, the main reason for going was to attend a book writing retreat with the company I do some editing work for. Initially, I was going to teach a full session, but as it was my first time to meet everyone on the team and see what the work would require, I decided to just attend as a participant so I could get a sense of everyone first. This turned out to be a good idea.

When I decided that I was going, my mom and I thought it would be fun to combine a short mother-daughter trip to the City. So, we got to work on finding out what shows were on and getting our tickets.

We saw three shows: Oh Mary!, Six – the musical, and YellowFace. It was a mix of show types, and Oh Mary! was definitely my favorite. I enjoyed the others, but they just weren’t as entertaining.

During the days, we did a lot of walking in different areas of the city, taking in sights and enjoying some of the eats on offer. Although Mom probably would have liked to see more museum exhibits, we didn’t go to any…. Still, it was a good time.

Since M decided he didn’t want to spend time apart a few months ago, he joined the trip on the day that Mom went back home. He had to entertain himself for three of the days, but he seemed to have survived.

The retreat was good, interesting, and motivational in seeing how the company works, learning about people’s ideas for books, and reminding me why I love reading, writing, and editing. I’m amazed at how just saying YES got me there.

So, that is what the NYC trip entailed. Overall, I was reminded of my love of the crazy city that is truly an entity of its own. Despite the increased level of noise and scent of MaryJ everywhere, I fell into a comfortable groove walking around, interacting with Americans/New Yorkers, and just being a part of the pulse of the city. I had missed it, to be honest.

Hopefully, it won’t be another ten years before I return again. Next time, I’d like to see more shows and eat even more food! Haha!

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Nov 112024
 

Well, I had two glorious days of doing absolutely nothing, which was much needed. My energy cup was bordering on empty, which is often when my bipolar tendencies kick-in. Though I don’t think that I have such strong ups and downs these days, I definitely notice when stress affects my productivity, judgment, and behavior.

So, the Universe looked out for me and helped me to create the time and space to just be in my own rhythm and head. Although I was not idle, I feel caught up and a lot less stressed. I did catch up with people on Friday night after I dropped M at the airport, but the rest of the weekend was mine.

While I could have probably done more in terms of writing, I felt that time was more aptly spent vegging out. Me and Seal Team had some proper QT the last couple of days and I regret nothing! Aside from chats with M and my parents, I talked to no one. It was bliss.

Today, it is back to the real world as I prepare to head off for my week visit to Japan. I have a day to myself still in Rome, but it’s a mix of activity and relaxation before I settle in for a day of travel and then a week of catching up with my BFF and other friends. It’ll be fun, no doubt.

Anyway, I hope to draft an update of my NYC trip this week and then it’s that time of year when reflections and new goals come into focus. In the meantime, I shall remember to breathe.

~T🔥🐉♋️

Nov 042024
 

I keep meaning to sit down to write, but catching up on “normal” life and trying to see local friends has made it more challenging than I had anticipated in settling into routine. I feel as if I’m running on fumes. Perhaps, that is also because I might have the tinge of a cold threatening my head and body…but anyway…

Since I’m already behind with updates on travels, let me push it off a bit longer. I’ll get to it eventually, not to worry.

For the moment, I got hit with a rude awakening of what small town life is like and a reminder to renew my previously held vow to never do anything that will cause me to be the center of the town gossip. Unfortunately, I actually have no recollection of doing as reported, but since it was confirmed by the person who received the harsh, unkind, and unintended words during a night of too much tequila, I cannot get away with denying it as I did when it was initially reported back to me that I had said such a thing.

What was it, I said?

Apparently, I said someone’s book was sh*t. Even worse than that I said it to the author herself in a belligerent drunken state. Of course, it was unintended. Yes, it was really harsh and unkind. Furthermore, it was probably embarrassing to her as I did it in front of other people. Worse of all is that in my sober mind, I would never ever say such a thing to anyone who has written something, put it out into the world, and made themselves vulnerable to critique. Yet, it happened.

I have apologized. I definitely regret that it was said by me, and that I cannot even remember doing it.

With the attitude of taking responsibility, I also renew my vow to never get drunk or do anything “interesting” in front of people who live in our proximity. I knew that I didn’t trust them to not find a way to create a gossip chain, spread stories, and revel in the ignominy of another person. On top of that, I haven’t even been around to explain or defend myself, even if I wanted to do so.

For a while, I had been trying to figure out why I prefer my friends in France over the ones we have made in Italy. This situation clearly illuminates what I couldn’t before explain.

My friends in France never spread stories about each other. What happens at a party stays at a party. What is said at a party stays at a party, or is discussed privately between the speakers should there have been a possible issue. No one tries to create a rift, shine someone in a negative light, nor put themselves in the center to garner sympathy or attention. It’s never about tearing someone else down, but always about focusing on the fun. With that sense of security, there is freedom to be ourselves, enjoy each other’s company in a safe space, and bond in those moments.

Instead, I have mostly spent three years on guard when we have get-togethers – even in my own home. I have said many times that I never want to be the source of the gossip that goes around town. Yet, here I am finding myself in the middle of one unintentionally because I made the mistake of getting really drunk at a party that we hosted and opened our home to over a hundred guests to….

Again, I do not shirk my ownership of saying the words I said nor that those words caused negative results. I own it. I regret it and have apologized for it. So, it’s time to move on with lesson learned and gut understanding reaffirmed.

In the future, no opinions will be shared unless it’s on the mundane, no judgments will be spoken, and trust will not be given to anyone outside of my inner inner circle. It’s sad to not have a safe zone, but alas it is what it has proven to be.

~T🔥🐉♋️

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