One thing about not being able to sleep in late is that it gives me more time in the mornings to get things done in peace.
Lately, I’ve been considering boundaries.
First, I feel as if I do not set my boundaries strongly enough that they are respected. For example, when I have a lot of work to do and someone wants to do something else with me – whether it’s to watch TV, go out to eat or hang out – I always tend to cater to their wishes despite my saying how much work I need to get done or that I feel like I’m really behind. While it is definitely my fault not just saying NO, it is also their fault for not considering other demands I have when asking me to also meet theirs.
Second, I feel as is if I am always at everyone else’s beck and call – from home to work to family to friends. For example, when my parents want to talk to me, they email and expect that I will be available to them when it’s convenient for them. However, if I email or ask a question, they take their time getting back to me. Or, at home R has a question or needs my help and although he may not expect an immediate response, he hopes for it and feels impatient if I’m not dropping whatever I’m doing to answer him or help him. Likewise, at work everything is last minute. ‘Can you meet after classes today to check a midterm that is set to run in three days?’ Uh…NO, I have plans and why is it so last minute?
I understand we live in a busy world. Everyone has their own perceived sense of busyness according to their own lives. I understand that we all need help and are happy when we can get it. However, I don’t understand that others don’t see that my world doesn’t revolve around their world? I want to make my world compatible and so I do give more than I should to make it appear so, but the truth is that it is wearing me out!
There’s a reason why I need pampering every week. It’s the only time during the week when others serve me and treat me with the kind of respect and attention that I am normally giving to others. What’s the answer?
Time for me to be a little stronger in standing up for me, adjust my schedule and ways to suit me better and remember to respect myself just as much or more than others. π
Easier said than done, though…<sigh>
-T
