i wonder if i have used this title before???
Lately I have been wondering if I should consider seeing a therapist again even though my last one seems to have disappeared on me with no word left on where or why. It is very difficult for me to start all over again as it has been hard enough to start in the first place.
R’s aunt recommended a life coach based in LA who will do Skype for sessions, but could cost a wee fortune and I’m not sure if a life coach is exactly what I am looking for or how they differ from a psychologist. Another friend recommended a couple based in a nearby hospital, which is apparently covered by our insurance, but I cannot find any information on the counselors there and so I hesitate. Of course, I could go back to where I was going and start with someone new, but has my file already. It’s a tough choice, but perhaps I just need to take the plunge again.
It’s not that I am out of control exactly, but I do feel a bit ungrounded. Maybe because R is not here as well and although I cherish and love my friends dearly, it’s just not the same to tell them my deepest, darkest woes as it is with R or a third party. So…I am not sure. It’s been going around and around in my head. I think I will give it until the weekend and then make a choice first thing next week. π
Overall, I am okay, but still a bit down without my honey around. Strangely, I do not always miss having him around in terms of taking up shared space or thinking about his needs. However, I miss the desire to take care of someone, share my thoughts with regularly and to just be comfortable with another being. I had forgotten what it is like to really be ‘single’ physically and mentally. Emotionally, I am totally not, but it is interesting how it seems to outweigh the other two….
Anyway, I ramble as it is so way past my bedtime! Time for some zzzzzzs…..
-T π
