We had a decision, then we changed it, then we reconsidered, then a new option came up, now we are back to uncertainty. I am not sure my psyche can take it….
Without too much detail, I think I can sum up our options as follow:
1 – Spain
2 – Saudi
3- Stay
Number 1 is our preferred choice now because it gets us to a fresh start away from the region and closer towards our end goal of France. However, it is not great pay and although we do have our minimum requirement of a salary, it does present itself as the riskier of all the options. Still, it is what has given us both a sense of happiness in choice and contentment about our ability to make it work.
Number 2 would be completely to make money sacrificing any sense of a lifestyle and a return to a world of frustration for me in terms of working with challenging teaching conditions. It is not that I would not do it nor find ways to endure it; it is more that it might not be very relaxed or fun for a year or two. Therefore, the consideration is whether or not it is worth potentially making loads of money at the expense of life?
Number 3 is not a bad option overall. It just means that we maintain the status quo. It does satisfy our minimum requirement of a salary, but this will be minimal (still better than nothing as we had initially expected this option to offer). Of course, we have the same kind of potential to earn more here and it is a known way of life that we could maintain. Therefore, it is not really a bad option either.
The problem on my end is making a decision sooner (as in yesterday!) rather than later as my husband is wont to do…. My sanity does not have this luxury given that we have to move out of our apartment and close up shop in 25 days. I have yet to speak to a removal company or sort out what needs to be done to cancel accounts. On top of that, we need the funds to accomplish it all.
In the grand scheme, we do have time. I think I can probably last another week to make a decision or to have one made for us. However, it is all affecting my moods. M said I have been crabby, snappy and generally unhappy. I do believe this is probably very true given that I totally hate uncertainty and 18 months of it is starting to take a serious toll. It is not that I will give up exactly, but more that I am feeling at a loss….
So, we will just keep focused on the positives as I work each day to chin up and look for the bits of happiness that will carry us through to a real decision that we can take action upon! π
~T π
