Jul 212023
 

Every now and then, I try to do a fasting lemon water detox. The longest I have done is ten days of just lemon water throughout the day and no food with the exception of a smoothie at the end of the day when my brain thinks it wants food. The shortest I have done is half a day, which I suppose no one would count as a “detox”.

I try to time my detoxing with when M goes out of town. It works nicely since I do not like to cook and hate to cook just for one, especially. Though I can easily live off of ramen and cereal for a few days, I felt that this week was the perfect timing as my body was also literally sending out screams of “stop feeding me!”

When my physiotherapist massaged my hip joints and pushed around the belly, she suggested a break from the booze and food would be good for me. I hadn’t told her that I already had a plan, so I took it as a sign from Lady Universe of encouragement to go forward with the detox plan.

So, I half started upon dropping M off at the airport on Sunday night. Monday night, I did go off plan as I already had agreed to go on the taco, rose wine night with friends. Then, it was back on it fully from Tuesday. Here we are three and a half days later and I feel great, a little sleepy still, but physically better.

It’s as if my body has said “Thank you 🙏”.

Although I had planned to just do lemon water and a smoothie every day until M’s return on Sunday, I was doing some more reading and realized that to avoid a bounce back effect once I return to eating fully, I am going to ease myself back to a new regular diet with a focus on vegetables and mostly raw food. In fact, I may stay 90% vegetarian for a while yet just because I think my body is still in need of a healthy routine for a bit more.

There are some things I have learned from the past few days. One is that I do not need to consume so much food – ever. Another is that I do not need to eat just because it looks good or I can. While I do enjoy the pleasures of food and the community of eating with others, I can have a better awareness of how much and what I actually consume. I can eat with others without eating as much. I can also be choosier about the quality and type of food I eat if I eat less.

I’ve also learned a few things in other areas just from my not focusing on meals and food.

One is that other people seem more affronted by my lack of eating than I am. It’s as if it is some kind of personal attack on them if I choose not to be eating or drinking. Some go so far as to avoid inviting me out or interacting with me during mealtimes because they assume, for me, that it would be awkward – really it’s awkward for them. Luckily, I do not mind as it’s one less angst I have towards being social.

Another is that people put a lot of assumptions around food which reveals more about themselves than it does about me.

So, I have been enjoying a quiet week. Some social interactions, but not a lot. I am no longer thinking about my next meal and yet staying very active and productive. My body seems to have cleansed itself decently as my bathroom visits are less frequent (sorry for the TMI, but it’s an important point when detoxing/cleansing). My sleep is OK, but I think that is more related to heat and needing to get up early to avoid the heat after 10am than my diet. I’ve done more walking and exercising these past five days so far than I have in months.

With that, I am happy to report that my reboot detox 2023 is going successfully well!

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Jul 172023
 

We are officially on our summer holidays! ☀️🎉

Although, to be fair, it doesn’t look or feel that much different from our regular days since neither of us “work” all day long. Plus, M is always “working”, so even when on holiday he is messaging, fielding calls, etc.

Still, the environment has changed and we have plans to explore a bit more of France and some islands over the next couple of months.

Yet…it has a sort of odd feeling to it as well.

This week, M is in the UK on his own doing a mix of work and pleasure traveling. This means I am on my own in our place in Lorgues, but without the puppies. 🐶 🥺 It’s best for them that we were able to find a nice couple, we think, to house- and pet-sit for us. Despite that, I had this weird sense of anxiety yesterday when I dropped of M at the airport.

Perhaps, it was a little bit of residue from the last time he left me on my own as it resulted in my ankle-break. Perhaps, it is some premonition yet to be known. Or, perhaps, it is just a jumble of emotions that are brewing inside of me in quietly coping with different levels of stress as we prepared to leave for about a month.

This is the first time that we have left the dogs for such a long period of time. This is the first time we have strangers in our house for such a long period of time. This is the first time that we have started to live the life that we want in having a home-base, but still be free to come and go in our travels around.

So, I suppose it is natural that we/I have this anxiety. Possibly, M manifested his anxiety through work-stress while I have buried it within until now.

Yesterday, when I got back, I was exhausted. I just wanted to sleep without any disruptions or distractions. Although I had a dinner invite, I could not summon the energy to be sociable, try to speak French, stay awake. Even with a short afternoon nap that usually refreshes me for the late Mediterranean evening culture, I still could not find motivation. So, I stayed in – because I could! 🤪 I was in bed by 9 and probably asleep not that much later.

My sleep wasn’t great, but I was not awakened by anything other than my own alertness.

Thus, this week, I have planned to detox my body, reboot my physical health, and refresh my mind. I started this morning with an early walk and attempted a light job, which would be more aptly referred to as a fast-walk, but that’s OK. I prepped some lemon water, relaxed with my cup of coffee on the balcony, did some work, and am now already at the end of my to-do list for the day. Tonight will be my last solid food night for the week as I had already agreed to go out for unlimited tacos and rosé with music. Then, tomorrow, I go on my liquid detox of lemon water and smoothies to try to give my body a break from the booze and overeating.

To encourage myself, I have booked a couple of massages that also allow for a couple of hours at the spa as a way of mini-retreat treatments mixed in with a means of distraction from wanting to eat and of refreshing – one of my goals for the week.

So, I’ll be back towards the end of the week to let you know how it goes! 🙏🏽

~T 🔥🐉♋️

May 122023
 

So, this shall my last ankle recovery post unless there are some major milestones to share. This is because I am personally getting bored with thinking about it all the time, so I imagine it must be equally boring to read each week about the progress. Now that I am basically on the road to normal use with a bit of tightness and such, I can reduce updates to monthly or something like that. 😅

In any case, I did drive 7 hours one-way to France and back on my own last week (Saturday to Wednesday this week) and had no major problems. It wasn’t overly sore, though there was some swelling when I got to France. However, walking around the French market and the town was good for the healing. Plus, I’ve got my regular more yoga stretching for it.

Then, yesterday, I went back to salsa on my physiotherapist’s recommendation and approval. That made me super happy! 💃🏽 It was a little sore last night when I got home after a full day out and an hour of dancing, but it was worth it. My muscles need a bit of attention and push anyway.

In any case, all is progressing well. Life is returning to normal. So, once this rainy weather decides to let spring/summer finally win out there will be nothing but sunny ☀️ skies ahead. 😅

~T 🔥🐉♋️

May 042023
 

It’s been a great week of almost normal walking. I’m still a bit of a hobbler when it comes to stairs or when I’m tired toward the end of the day. However, I’ve been green-lighted to go without the crutch in familiar terrain and home. So, all is well.

I will do a full reflection on this whole process next week as it has been a rather amazing ten weeks or so. Overall, I think that it has been quick and fairly painless, but it hasn’t all been lovely either.

Anyway, just wanted to close out the week with this – we stopped to take pics in a gorgeous poppy field!

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Apr 282023
 

Last week was the last of the two-crutch walk, and on Monday this week I was OK’d for just one crutch to hobble on. In actuality, I could mostly hobble along without, but there are those moments when the terrain is uneven or unpredictable, so the crutch still helps.

It’s been satisfying to be getting around. M has gone off again for a few days and I kept the dogs with me this time. Plus, I am able to drive into town and around without any difficulty. This has really helped my motivation and sense of confidence in returning to normal life. I’m still not able to do a long drive as the lack of movement makes it sore, like when sitting at a restaurant. However, the short drives around town for appointments and errands is perfectly fine.

So, with a taste of regular life again and having successes in each day with the pups, I feel more like myself again. The extra peace and quiet with M gone has definitely helped as well since I was starting to get a bit frustrated with life.

I am expecting that next week I will be OK’d to go without my crutch and the weather is improving that I might be able to get myself to the pool for my physio exercises. In the meantime, I do my yoga stretches and try not to do too much – though that is a challenge.

Anyway, all is looking good overall. Another week down!

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Apr 212023
 

Don’t let the picture fool you – my foot does not like to be confined to a shoe! 😝

However, there has been progress. Two days of physiotherapy down with some pretty significant swelling that has been deemed normal for the situation reveals that the body is truly something strange and amazing. Trying to do some yoga poses on the wall has dismayed me as I found what used to be so simple and easy to be a struggle. My brain really needs focus and concentration to rebuild trust in the movements and positions.

Still, I can put more weight on the right foot. Not quite full weight, but it is definitely improving each day. With more exercises and another three-visit week ahead of physio, I am hoping that this time next week, I’ll be writing standing on both feet equally. 💪🏽

In the meantime, slow and steady wins the race, right? 🐢

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Apr 152023
 

Progress at last! After two months since the fall and nearly six weeks since the operation, week 5 at home was one of anticipation as I have started to become bored with being incapacitated on two legs. Although there is still patience required, I can see an end to the wait for life to return to “normal”.

The doctor(s) have given me the green light to start putting weight on the ankle/foot, do more intense physio to walk and return to light activity, drive even, and whatever else I can do within reason. The joy is real and my eagerness is on edge, but I am trying not to go too crazy.

The bandages also came off today. The pic isn’t pretty, but it is looking good.

So, now I am mindfully stepping with the help of my crutches. I have only once or twice put full weight on the foot, but that is still a ginger action since there is still bruising on the bottom of my feet and around the ankle. Plus, the muscles are not quite ready yet. I get a bit of swelling in the foot and toes if I do “too much” so I keep an eye on it and remind myself to rest as well.

Each step is one towards a return to freedom and regular life again, so I continue with a smile and bolstered hope!

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Apr 062023
 

Well, my doctor’s visit on Friday last week went positively. They took out the remaining stitches and pins/staples giving us a week off from our next visit, so in two weeks I’ll return for another check up. In the meantime, I will have regular physio appointments closer to home.

My physio sessions are starting to get more intensive as increased mobility and flexibility in the ankle and leg muscles for that area need to be stimulated after nearly six weeks of being unused. It is something odd to observe what used to be a fairly healthy and toned muscle waste away into flabby skin and zero resistance.

The therapist said that it takes 100 days to recover from trauma. This is the case regardless of whether the trauma is mental, physical or a combination of the two. A physical injury carries mental trauma even if we do not realize it.

I tend to think of myself as pretty strong mentally and my physical health is fairly good, but it really is unexplainable the toll that is taken on the mind when the body fails to work as it should. Although I do not fear re-injury or doing something that could cause something else to go wrong, I am aware of a greater imbalance in myself than before.

It takes a lot of mental acrobatics to get myself going each day thanks to the extra effort required for showering, dressing, and getting downstairs or preparing to do something productive for the day. By the time, I am “ready”, I generally feel exhausted and have to push myself to keep going. Using the knee scooter definitely makes a difference from the crutches as I can move around to clean up the kitchen or pick up things here and there since a man-clean is not quite the same as a Tara-clean. 😅

Still, I feel impatient to get back on my feet.

Each day, I push a little more than I probably should to exercise my ankle to be in the right position for standing or stretch the toe muscles so that when I get the green light to put weight on it, I’ll be ahead of the training game. Of course, I understand that it is very likely that there is “beating” the game in this case, but at minimum I feel as if I am making the effort and doing as much as I can.

It’s hard to accept that I am only about halfway through the recovery process, but at the same time I hardly feel like it was only three and a half weeks ago that I had surgery. So, with the slow there is the quick. No doubt, in another week or so I will be forgetting that I couldn’t walk. 😬🤪

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Mar 232023
 
Healthy bone-healing smoothie

As someone who likes consistency, it has been an interesting process to accept that each day is different from the one before. Some days I awaken with a lot of energy and focus while others I find myself extra tired and unmotivated to do much. However, this week I did decide to create a kind of schedule for myself to tentatively follow each day to start to rebuild my stamina and productivity levels as I am about halfway through my non-weight-bearing period of post-surgery recovery.

When friends heard of my situation, many have advocated the intake of protein and collagen to help the healing process. In the sunnier seasons, I have been a big fan of smoothies as a way of increasing my protein intake since we try not to eat too much red meat these days. As part of the smoothie ingredients, I do usually add in plant-based protein powder, green juice powder, collagen, homemade peanut butter, fruit, banana, yogurt, and other goodies as I find them. I’ve started adding in some orange juice to ensure my vitamin C intake is good and then include coconut water for the extra electrolytes. All blended into a delicious concoction that I hope is contributing to my overall health and now healing process.

This week, I did get myself out to a cafe on the day of my physiotherapy session. It wasn’t the most comfortable to sit with my leg on a chair, but it felt good to do something “normal” out of the house. Also, this evening, we are looking forward to having some friends over for the first visit of the spring and since my return home. So, I am very much looking forward to that.

Our fingers are crossed for my doctor’s visit tomorrow in that they will hopefully start removing stitches and staples as everything feels like it is closing up – though I haven’t checked as I’m not brave enough to take off the bandages at home. 😅 If that all goes well, then…we should be able to get the go-ahead to spend a few days in France where we want to get our rental apartment there set up for visits and visitors/guests who might want to use it since holiday season is fast-approaching.

So, little by little, life is slowly returning to a more hopeful normal. We are starting to make plans again for socializing, entertaining, and activities especially with the weather improving. I am fairly confident that once I can put some weight back on the leg, the road to full recovery will be smooth. Here’s hoping! 🤞🏽

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Mar 162023
 

Well, it has been almost a week at home and there have definitely been some ups and downs. Thankfully, we are mostly on the ups side – literally and figuratively.

I was not fully prepared for the amount of energy it takes to move around with one useless limb. Plus, all my mental energy seems to be going toward healing rather than on more intellectual pursuits, which makes it hard to focus on writing, reading, or doing anything remotely productive.

Luckily, the weather has improved, so despite a bit of a chilly wind, I am able to sit outside to get some natural Vitamin D and try to return some color to my skin that was depleted from three weeks indoors.

Still, being a sort of burden to others is not something I excel at. I’m used to being independent and thought of as useful. However, just trying to change the sheets on our bed took me 30 minutes or more yesterday. Obviously, I did it out of choice and stubbornness more than anything else.

The doctor told me to stay mostly bed-bound with leg raised until we go in for a checkup tomorrow. The stitches and staples still need time to heal up. The physiotherapist told me to try to sit up more and get the blood flowing so that independence can be gained faster. Seemingly contradictory commands makes it hard to know what is the right thing to do. So, in the end, I listen to my own body and mind. I do mostly keep myself half-sitting up with the leg raised above my heart as I do not want to prolong the healing of the operated area from healing up. My physio will go faster and easier then. From my first two physio sessions, I think my body is doing a good job of making use of my healthy lifestyle and remaining strong, flexible, and agile.

Thus, overall, despite a bit of adjusting with the other member of the house on how to navigate my lack of movement with his own, it has been a good week. No matter, what it is better to have a view from my balcony than of the TV screen from a room of isolation.

Hopefully, the healing will be satisfactory after our doc visit tomorrow so that I can continue to make good progress back to the world of the walking!

~T 🔥🐉♋️

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