For some time I’ve been playing in my mind about this topic and wondering how I could write about it clearly so that it made sense – even to me.
One of the things I dislike the most about living in the UAE is the fact that I am constantly ‘pursued’ by the male gender. The other day a good friend of mine said something her boyfriend had told her when she first arrived – “Don’t talk to the taxi drivers or anyone because men here don’t understand the concept of ‘friendly'”. I sort of wish someone had told me that sooner.
It’s sort of ironic that I often treat people suspiciously when I go home because they are so friendly – in fact too friendly for my taste. However, my raising has also stuck in me so that I still believe in treating people kindly. This, is what gets me into trouble.
If I am in a taxi, and the driver wants to have a chat, I don’t want to be rude and tell him to stop talking to me. After all, maybe he’s just ‘being friendly’. Or, if someone says hello to me randomly in the store or on the street, my first reaction is to smile and say hello in return.
All of this ‘kindness’ in this part of the world means that I’m showing interest in them and women are not equals or even really human beings to them. Rather, women are for pleasure or child-bearing.
Given my childhood history, I am also often very suspicious of men. Sometimes I wonder if I am overly suspicious and just playing the victim as it’s a familiar feeling. Still, I’ve not had any really bad or dangerous encounters (Egypt aside) that should cause me to always be on my guard.
Yet, the other night, my friend and I were coming back in a taxi. We had both been drinking, but she was more ‘happy’ than I was. The driver was singing and being silly. My friend kept giggling and carried on a conversation with him. I ignored them both whilst having a very high sense of alertness about what was going on. Everything was fine and perhaps the driver was just in high spirits taking home two lovely ladies.
Considering what her boyfriend had said to her, though…I’m wondering if my craziness isn’t all that crazy after all….
-T π
