To Panic or Not to Panic?!

 Going Mental  1 Response »
Mar 232020
 

Unless you’ve been under a rock or blissfully enjoying a Luddite world, in which case you wouldn’t be reading this, you will be aware of the global crisis known as COVID-19 or the Coronavirus.

Now, I’m not a prepper, panicker, conformist, or doomsday believer. In fact, in a state of emergency I have always said that I will be found as far away from the masses as possible because it’s people we have to worry about.

This is no different and, in fact, requires isolation and distance from others.

In many ways, this pandemic has numerous positives.

First, an introverts dream is to be considered ‘normal’ for hiding away from others. For most of the world, this is being required! I mean, “OH, I can’t go out and I can’t attend any social functions? Gee, that’s a real shame!” NOT! πŸ˜‚- more like HAPPY DANCE! 🍾🀣

Second, if we have a massive population decrease, the Earth will surely be able to deeply sigh in relief from the burden of overpopulation. Sure, the loss of loved ones old, young, ill, healthy, etc. is sad and all that, but c’mon, can we really begrudge nature’s attempt to balance out the scales? I surely do not. πŸ’ͺ🏽

Also, for the first time in ages, people are actually spending time with their children away from the TV and devices. More parents are talking about playing with their kids and families seem to be interacting with each other. OMG, what is that?! 😝

It’s also a great time to start any online businesses or promote technology in a positive way – i.e. online learning, remote working, etc. Stay tuned for my own activity in this area. πŸ˜‰

There are obviously a number of downsides for those who are in serious ‘lockdown’. Being confined and forced to limit any usual activity is no picnic. Imprisonment is used as a form of punishment for a reason, after all.

Without focusing on the negatives too much or celebrating the joys of self-isolation and social distancing, I am interested in the panic mechanism.

Now, I get ALL of my news from limited sources: in person from people around me, Facebook, The Daily podcast (NY Times), and once in the morning from Google’s morning information as I get ready. On rare occasions, I might open a news app or watch the news. Usually, this happens passively – I see it on someone else’s device, on the train, etc. Therefore, if I actually self-isolated, I would be forced to get my news from mass media.

It’s no wonder then that people panic. In Japan, almost everyone has Japanese TV on when at home. People read newspapers and stay well connected to mass media via Line (like WhatsApp) or to some extent Facebook. Therefore, if there are reports that toilet paper 🧻 supply might run out, everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) sprints out to grab as much toilet paper as they can. The “Great TP Scare of 2020” will go down in history and Japanese people will have the cleanest bums for years to come!

However, looking at images from around the world, we see that this panic has spread – irrationally! It’s not just that countries are unprepared to cope with a health crisis, it’s also that people are unprepared to cope with any crisis.

My father is a prepper and always has been. I never thought it odd to have a freezer full of meat until people began to tease me about it. I never thought it odd to make enough food in a meal for days of leftovers until I met others who somehow just made enough food for one meal. How is that a thing?! So, my cupboards are always full. Even if I have limited space, I will make room for cans of beans or rice or whatever can be used over a long period of time. It never occurred to me that it was a prepping behavior. πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

As things seem to worsen around the world, the opposite seems to be happening in Japan. It never really shutdown when things got ‘serious’ in February. Schools were let out early as it was the end of the academic year anyway, and there was an increase in encouraging remote work for many companies. However, overall, it’s a little as if we are in a bubble of either denial or amazing immunity.

In any case, my theory is that there is no need to panic. I am not sure if Japan has it right or not, but staying away from Western news helps. My question for those who are panicking is: Do you actually know anyone who has the virus? If so, how ill are they and have they died? If not… chill the F*&k out, then!!! πŸ˜‰

Anyway, stay healthy out there and if you don’t like people anyway – like me – then enjoy this crazy time to the fullest!!! πŸ’πŸ½β€β™€οΈπŸ’ƒπŸ½πŸ˜‡πŸ˜

~T πŸ˜€

The Temporariness of Life

 Going Mental  No Responses »
Mar 042020
 

Where does the time go? There I was thinking that I was on regular schedule for posting, but then three weeks just flew by! Now, I am back in March and hoping to not jinx my flow.

I guess I have still been a bit busy with work and trying to find the ever elusive balance to life. Whenever I think that I’ve done it, like a see-saw, the balance is quickly lost the moment a bit more on one side or the other appears. So, for now, I’m going to ride the tip toward writing here again.

One thing I have been pondering lately is the temporariness of everything. I recently had a scare that I could lose someone dear to me. While I know that this is an inevitable reality of life – everyone dies eventually – , I was not prepared to consider it for that person.

Often, when I watch shows where someone has died (this is a lot thanks to my addiction to true crime stories), the survivors always say the person who passed was wonderful, amazing, loving, so kind, full of life, etc. I keep wanting someone to say “She was a royal biotch!” or “He was an absolute dick.” It’s like saying that would mean that s/he deserved to die, which is not at all how I think. I just wish that we were honest about how people were/are in life. It’s nice to look fondly on people, and it sells better than if the person were not a good one, but life is temporary and why recall it differently than it is/was?

Since I was very young I have let go of my attachment to life. This does not mean that I haven’t and don’t live my life to the fullest. In fact, because I have let go of my attachment, I feel free to live it up. While I would definitely be pissed off if I was somehow incapable of living life as I know it, I would not look back with regret for the life I have lived.

However, this lack of attachment has also allowed me to live life for myself. I don’t have to worry about leaving kids behind. I don’t have a passionate cause to live and fight for. I don’t have strings attached to the world. Yet, related to re-finding purpose, it also has a downside in that the temporariness of this life leaves me floating a bit too aimlessly.

When I thought that I could lose my loved one, I wondered what life would be like without that person in my life. In turn, I wondered what life would be like without me in it. Right now, I think that it wouldn’t matter much except to those near and dear. Yet, I feel somewhat unsatisfied by that. So, now, I am thinking about what I can do to give back and leave a little something behind.

Thus, I am embracing the temporariness of life and looking forward to narrowing down what I will leave behind.

~T πŸ˜€

Re-Finding Purpose

 Going Mental  2 Responses »
Mar 022020
 

Call it midlife crisis or call it whatever you like, but I have been trying to find purpose (again) these days.

When one chooses not to have children, it becomes more difficult at a certain age to define what life is all about. As someone who has spent most of her life trying to be comfortable in her own skin and only recently feeling that is completed, I am now wondering what do I do with this newfound comfort.

This year I decided to make it a goal to work from home more, if not full-time. This is more complicated than just finding online work as I also have to have a visa to continue living in Japan. My three-year visa runs out in October of this year, so it is important that I keep my current full-time position until I renew my visa. Therefore, this gives me a bit of time to at least put some ideas into motion.

While I was struggling with what to do with my life, so to speak, I went into a bit of a fog. It wasn’t a complete depressive state, but it was enough for me to feel a bit lost. Having lost interest and ambition in the world of academia, which is what I have known my entire adult life, I didn’t know where to turn.

Throughout my life, I have not had time or energy to find a passion or cause to champion. I was busy trying to survive life and understand how to navigate through what was given to me. It also takes a level of confidence and certainty about one’s existence to then feel that promoting a cause of some kind is meaningful out of the self – at least that’s how I think about it.

As I mentioned before, having kids sort of gives people a cause by default – whether or not the kids want it πŸ˜› . Without kids, one must come up with something on their own. Oftentimes, one’s partner might become the cause – live for them or help them to change. Neither of those are my cup of tea either.

Still, many studies suggest that giving back to a community or society in some way provides great contentment and satisfaction in life. It’s just that finding the way to give back so that I feel inspired has been evading me.

Finally, though, I think I have found something that is meaningful and could be inspirational. I’m still in the brainstorming phase with a need to do some research on how to build it up and possibly monetize it. However, this feels like something that will stick. I also have some other money making ideas that I need to focus on as well, but at last the brain is starting to move with a forward motion rather than a circular one.

Stay tuned for updates! Fingers-crossed I don’t get lost in it!

~T πŸ˜€

Kindness

 Going Mental  2 Responses »
Feb 282020
 

Last weekend we took an overnight road trip to Gifu Prefecture. As a UNESCO World Heritage Site, I have wanted to visit here for some time. It’s not along the typical tourist path, so I never quite made it before.

Thanks to some usual, but unexpected traffic getting out of Tokyo, we had a late arrival on Saturday, but we explored the nearby town, Hida-Takayama, which is popular for wooden pieces and it’s sake breweries in old-style houses.

On our way there, we had to cross the Japan Alps, but found that there was nothing really to worry about in our city car. It’s been a rather warm winter and so neither of us had thought to look at the weather report or worrying about our drive. Although, once we saw snow on the hills on the way there, we did lament about not at least bringing along our snow gear in case we had thought to stop for a quick swish-swish down a slope.

Still, we drove along enjoying the pretty views without a care.

Upon awaking the next morning, our excitement at seeing heavy snow fall quickly melted into tentative worry about our drive home. Thus, we headed off to Shirakawa-go without haste.

It was fun despite the chill to walk through the village and see the thatched-roof houses from days of old. We stopped for a ‘local coffee’ and watched the people go by taking in the traditional wintry scene.

Satisfied with our explorations, we prepared for the long journey home. Sadly, we had not prepared enough for the continually falling snow and our little city car with little city tires.

Most cars in Japan have winter tires that help them in all types of weather and terrain. As car-share participants, not owners, we tend not to think of such things. So…sure enough one slippery hill caused the little car to protest. We attempted to burn our way up the hill in hopes of at least getting out of the middle of the road, but the little engine that could, couldn’t. One of the challenges of being in a foreign country is the added stress of not knowing what to do in such situations. Also, it was a car-share rental, so there was only a protocol listed for accidents….

Therefore, I put out my spidey-senses and willed someone to stop to help us. This is not a country of good samaritans for the most part. However, a kind old batty man stopped to help us. He explained that there was no way our car was going to make it back to Tokyo in the current weather conditions. He stated we had two options: 1) buy chains; 2) call a tow truck and wait for at least an hour or more with a hefty bill to go with it.

Obviously, since NOM (nice old man) was willing to drive us to a gas station to see if we could buy some chains, we chose that option. It’s been a long time since I’ve had to use chains or drive in snow, but I felt confident one of us could figure it out. My gregarious husband did not let on that he had, in fact, never driven in snow nor touched chains before in his life. Luckily, his hubris covered until we were well on our way! πŸ˜›

I think the NOM had a sense that we “city-folk” were at a loss, so even though we gave him the equivalent of about $50 for taking us 12km round-trip, he also helped us in the cold to get the chains on and see us on our way.

Everything went smoothly and we made it through the rough patches. It only added on about an hour to our long journey and we managed to laugh our way through it all; so in the end we can share it as an experience and adventure!

What was rather strange about the whole thing was that we were just talking about how it never hurts to just be nice to people. There are plenty of times when we feel like we don’t have patience with others, but small acts of kindness build up good karma. Inevitably, we will be dependent on the kindness of others and want to be extended it, so we should always be in the state of mind to do the same. So, our sentiments were reinforced by NOM. πŸ˜€

Next time, though, we vowed to at least make sure we knew what to expect weather-wise. Plus, now we have chains that will fit most city cars – just in time for spring! πŸ˜‰

~T πŸ˜€

Prose Ode of Love!

 Going Mental  1 Response »
Feb 142020
 

Six years ago I went to an Internations event to avoid being lonely and sad at home after breaking up with my five-year boyfriend during the winter holidays. Just a week or so before that I had gone on a private retreat to reset my sights on attracting a partner who would be all I needed him to be – right down to a checklist (obvi!). πŸ˜›

Although I had not planned on meeting this potential partner so soon, the Universe works quickly when you put out what you want. Never before had I met another adopted person randomly – usually it would be at events for adoptees or introductions from others. Never before had I met someone so quick-witted and genuinely charming.

Even though neither of us were necessarily looking for love in that event or moment of our lives, we found a connection.

While it seems like more than six years since we met, it’s also a reminder at how short life is and how quickly our circumstances can change; our own time together so far can testify to that!

Some may call us lucky to have found each other. Some may think that it can never happen to them. Some may even wonder at how it all happened.

For me, I believe in the power of knowing what you want, being clear about it – make a checklist! -, then keeping your mind open enough to see it when it is provided to you.

Also, I don’t believe in coincidences or luck. Sure, I could be writing this about someone else depending on the timing or circumstances, but I’m not. While we may have had different lives to lead until we met each other, the alignment of our stars finally happened. Life hasn’t been all roses and sunshine together either, but being able to share it with my crazy β€œbabs” makes it our adventure.

So, on this day of love, I celebrate having it in my life in the form of my laughing life partner. πŸ₯°πŸ˜

In Recovery

 Going Mental  1 Response »
Jan 222020
 

It may sound weak and pathetic, but just over two weeks after returning from winter holidays, I am just finally starting to feel like myself again.

It seems that my tolerance for being busy, social, and the like has greatly decreased so that it is taking me longer to recoup. For the past couple of weeks, I have been having to force myself into the real world again.

My introverted voice reminds me that it is just that my batteries πŸ”‹ ran on low πŸ§Ÿβ€β™€οΈ for too long so it is now requiring a bit more time to get them charged back up to full πŸ‘ΈπŸ½. On a normal week or schedule they never run much lower than 50%, so it’s merely a matter of using my working from home days to return to full capacity.

Unfortunately, last week required me to teach πŸ‘©πŸ½β€πŸ« three consecutive full eight hour days with only a short lunch break to refresh. So, the weekend was not quite enough to get me back on track.

Another major and important factor is my gym πŸ’ͺ🏽 time. While many may have other outlets to charge themselves up, I find that spending time at the gym lifting weights πŸ‹πŸ½β€β™€οΈ, doing yoga πŸ§˜πŸ½β€β™€οΈ, and working on my C25K programπŸƒπŸ½β€β™€οΈis as effective as being at home on my own. The added benefit is that I feel physically healthy as well. So, this week, I have been able to return to my regular gym visits. πŸ‘πŸ½

By the end of the week, I imagine that January will have sorted itself out for me – just in time for the second month of the year to start already! πŸ€¦πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

~T πŸ˜€

Golden Joinery

 Going Mental  No Responses »
Jan 172020
 

There is a Japanese art form called kintsugi or kintsukuroi, which is used to repair broken pottery using a metal (gold or silver generally) to repair the broken item.

When we fall in love or start a new relationship, whether friendly or romantic, we look at the connection as perfect and untouched. Like we do with decorative plates, we try the best we can to protect the original purity of the shape, quality, and value.

However, since we are not able to put our relationships into a safety box, after the β€˜honeymoon period’ levels off, normal wear and tear starts to dim down the initial brightness.

Every time we fight with someone a little crack is made in that perfect plate. Even without knowing it, the cracks can continue to spread into a myriad of microscopic lines like a snowflake. Relationships often end because those little cracks go untreated which can weaken the integrity to the point that the plate completely shatters into millions of pieces with no possibility of being put back together again.

Before getting to this point, there are obviously various ways to prevent a total breakdown.

There is a Japanese philosophy called wabi-sabi, which is to appreciate flaws or imperfections due to the natural wear of life. They also follow the idea that change, imperfection, and even fractures are inevitable aspects of living.

These are reasonable philosophies to take on in many ways. To add to them, I also like to consider that if we apply melted gold or silver to the cracks, it not only makes the piece complete again, but also adds value to the original. It may not be the same as when new, but the mended version may be even stronger and more beautiful.

Relationships of all kind take effort. We have to regularly take the piece off a shelf to dust, inspect for any unsuspecting cracks or chips, and appreciate the beauty that it brings to our lives. All too often, we forget to put in the effort and take for granted that it will always be there safe on a shelf.

Whenever I fight with someone, I feel a little like (not to be too dramatic) a piece of me dies. It’s as if a tiny hole has been poked like the inverse of a black screen that allows in a stream of light, but a spot of darkness enters instead. I believe that it is these dark spots that turn into cancer if not addressed completely to plug up the holes with beautiful gold or silver.

Being the kind of person who struggles to express positive emotions it is a good reminder for me to keep gold on hand when I might inadvertently cause a crack or even a hole to open while maintaining a balance in wabi-sabi.

Great Things Ahead

 Going Mental  No Responses »
Jan 052020
 

I am determined to make this the year of writing (among other things), so watch this space as I’ll be posting more regularly.

True, I’ve posted this before, but 2020 is the year with my big goals to make some changes regarding work and finances – more about these to come.

So, this is just an introductory post of what is to come.

Over the next week I’ll be settling back into reality after a long winter holiday vacation in Australia, but plenty to come soon!

~T πŸ˜€

 Newer Entries
error

Enjoy this blog? Please spread the word :)