This will be short. It’s too hot for me to function….
All is well, though. The ankle is healing well with plans to remove the stitches/staples next Wednesday and then life can return to a bandage-free normal.
Thankfully, the temperatures are meant to drop a bit in the coming days, so hopefully I won’t have melted away over the weekend and will have more to say next time.
Stay cool and healthy, wherever you might be!
~ T π₯πβοΈ
I love this picture so much. It represents the sense of melting that I feel in these really hot and humid days where I feel as if my skin is burning off even in the shade after just 5 minutes outside. It also shows my avatar relaxed and accepting the situation, which is how I feel in my current state as I begin to let go of recent stress and angst. It’s a good image.
It’s 37 degrees Celsius or 98 degrees Fahrenheit as I write this. That’s hot. π₯΅
When I was younger, even just a couple of years ago, I chased the sun βοΈ wanting to soak up all the rays to darken a tan, absorb all the Vitamin D I could, and in general, enjoy what a sunny day offers: poolside, cocktails, reading, relaxing.
Since menopause set in and the heat feeling like a furnace π₯, I find myself less inclined to rush outdoors. Plus, there’s the bugs π¦π¬.
On top of that, we are having pool construction done so there’s nowhere to cool off even if I did convince myself to go outdoors.
Unfortunately, my already likely VitD-deficient self also does not necessarily do well indoors all day every day. So, as I’m in ankle recovery – which is going very well, in case you were wondering, I have been trying to adjust my schedule to remedy this a bit. Also, M is away for a few days and the pups have gone to the kennel giving me quite a bit of freedom to breathe. π§π½ββοΈ
The mornings are still cool enough to sit outside for an hour or two, if I get up and moving before 9 am. The evenings are definitely not for sitting outdoors for me just now, but once the sun has gone down, it is cooler to get the watering done for the plants before I flee any mozzie attacks. While this is not the most ideal for getting some sun exposure in, it is working for now.
Mostly, the freedom to move at my own pace, on my own time, in my own way is the key. ππ
Sometimes a little alone time is all one needs to cool down in times of rising temperatures – both physically and mentally. β€οΈ
~ T π₯πβοΈ
When I was eight-years-old, I moved in with the Bilyeus and decided I liked them enough to want to remember who they were in my life. Previous families were, and still are, a blur as nightmares or questionable realities of buried memories. So, it was then that my writing persona began.
At the time, I really only focused on journals and getting my page of writing in each day about what I had done, whether or not my brother was mean to me, thoughts about the current life I was living. It took me many years to accept that I was staying with this family and that I could call them mine.
Intermingled with all of that was poetry.
My mom was a unique mother in her lack of helicopter-parenting and reserved demeanor. I never really questioned her loyalty or affection, but I took for granted the smaller gestures that showed how well she understood me. One of those elements was in not buying me typical children’s coloring books, but she got me ones with geometric figures, images of the Greek gods and mythology, and blank books where I could color the cover but fill in the pages for myself.
Many of those books, I still have. Most are filled with my childish poems.
Yet, somewhere along my writing journey I ignored the inner poet. My creative energies focused in different areas. My writing focused on what seemed “proper writing”. Still, my journals are peppered with poems. These blog posts have poems. Poetry has been a thread throughout.
So, when I attended that yoga-writing retreat a few months ago, I discovered I actually DO write poetry. I might really be a poet AND a writer. Then, I got to work.
Shortly after the retreat, I collated all the poems that I have posted on this blog with ones from recent journals. Of course, I did not go too far back in the annals of my diaries. But, I had enough poems to create a book manuscript. After many edits, it is ready for public consumption.
More than the other two books I have published, this one brings me more pride. Perhaps, it is because these represent a true creation of my own rather than synthesizing and analyzing information for easier consumption which the Umbria books offer.
Anyway, I hope readers will enjoy these as simple offerings of silliness, thoughts, and ponderings when one leaves the clouds. More poems in the making and more ideas for books to come!
~ T π₯πβοΈ
Well, my plan to ponder this weekend turned into a mix of thwarted plans and utter laziness.
My plan on Saturday was to just chill, watch a lot of sport since rugby was on and then the Euros 2024 soccer matches were scheduled for the evening. However, a friend needed a ride home from the hospital and an overnight stay as he transitioned out back into the real world again after 10 days. He’s doing alright and went home yesterday. Still, that meant my Saturday of sports TV was turned into about 4.5 hours of driving and then “hosting”. We did manage to get back in time for the soccer kick-off and watch England save themselves enough to move into the semi-finals, which I will be watching on Wednesday night!
This also meant that my plans for Sunday to be about organizing my head and all that good stuff were also waylaid. In the end, I caught up on TV shows including some of the Olympic trials for gymnastics and lots of napping.
Although I do not feel particularly tired, I definitely am worn out from the heat and humidity. Even though I did sit outside for a bit, I found that it didn’t particularly help my mood as sweat instantly surfaced all over my body. As I have aged, I have found sweat pores (pours) in weird places – like the back of my knees! So, my heat tolerance has really decreased which makes me a less than enjoyable companion.
The only pondering I managed to do was to consider where I can escape to after my ankle surgery tomorrow, and how I can avoid this weather next year.
To be honest, I’m sure it is not that bad in terms of temperature and even climate for most. However, menopause has not endeared warm weather to me. Hopefully, one of these days I’ll enjoy it again. In the meantime, I’m very seriously considering spending summers in the UK or Scandinavia! We shall see….
So, while the heat-induced irritable side of me might want to moan some more, I am trying to appreciate the fact that I had the luxury of spending just about an entire day lazing about and resting. Of course, more of that to come in the next few days as I go in tomorrow for my ankle surgery (to remove the metal they put in about a year and a half ago). Hopefully, it’ll be enough chilling for me to refresh my motivation.
~ T π₯πβοΈ
I’m back on a routine and feeling both happily productive yet somewhat lackluster in my sense of accomplishment each day. It’s not like I don’t have plenty to do or to keep me busy. Still, sometimes it does feel as if it is just busy work that I am doing to pass the time.
Of course, it is meaningful to keep a clean house, do laundry, and such. I don’t really do anything outdoors these days as it is hot π₯΅ and the mozzies π¦ are out, but the mornings are nice for enjoying a cup of coffee. Yet, I haven’t even been doing that until this morning when M asked what I was doing after I had come directly to my dark, cool office to sit at the computer to get work done. It really didn’t occur to me to go outside for a bit.
So, perhaps I’m vitamin D deficient, and it is affecting my mood. I will try to work on that and go outside a bit more now that I’m aware.
Equally, I need to return to prioritizing writing. I’ve allowed myself to get out of the habit of journaling every single day. Partially because my journal is crammed with cards and papers that it is hard to write on one side of it, but really I just allow it to be an excuse to not write. When I don’t write, it’s like being constipated. The build up becomes too much. I need an outlet for my thoughts and inner emotions since I’m not an outwardly emotional person.
Furthermore, since deciding to publish a poetry book, I have come to a full realization that I have always been a poet. From the time I started writing journals at eight-years-old, I also started writing poems. My first coloring, writing books were filled with my naive poems. Poems have always been a constant along with my journals. Because I can often scribble out a poem quickly, I forget that it is a craft, an art, a creativity that needs an outlet.
Then, there is the craft of writing a story. My fiction novel has been pushed aside again in my mind and priorities. Perhaps, I am afraid of the need to dig into my memories and feelings to write some parts. Perhaps, I am afraid it really isn’t that good. Perhaps, I am just afraid. I need to ponder and see what my mental obstacle might be on it. In the meantime, I have a new idea to work on some short stories along with my poetry.
The fact is that as long as I’m writing and producing something regularly, I’m happier than when I just manage to get tick off the items on my todo list. More than likely, my sense of accomplishment and contentment is when I have written something meaningful (to me, at least) in a day. So, why am I not ensuring I do this every day? π€·π½ββοΈπ€·π½ββοΈ
I have no acceptable answer. π€ͺ
They say awareness is the first step. So, step one βοΈ! Now, to do something about it. I shall ponder today on what that looks like and revert back on Monday. Stay tuned!
Have a great weekend y’all!
~ T π₯πβοΈ
When I was younger, I really had no interest in celebrating my birthday. It seemed like an unnecessary moment of bringing attention to myself, which was something that I actively spent time on avoiding. If I was not noticed, I would not get unwanted attention from leery male eyes. If I was not noticed, I may not get moved around to a new home. If I was not noticed, I could pretend that I was just like everyone else around me rather than the one who was different – in looks, in life experiences, in what felt like everything.
There was a period of time when people actually forgot my birthday unless it was announced on social media or someone told them. Even my parents forgot it was my birthday for a few years since I lived abroad – I had to fight the urge to believe that “out of sight out of mind” wasn’t a truth. π³ For the most part, I didn’t mind, but I admit that it hurt when those closest to me didn’t remember. As I’m not the type to tell others that it is my birthday, I let it slide. I love them all anyway (plus, they’ve redeemed themselves many times over since π€ͺ).
Perhaps it was when I met M or some time around then that I began to think that it was OK to celebrate and let others celebrate me.
In fact, I almost always remember everyone else’s birthdays. For many years, I would make an effort to reach out, send cards or gifts to almost everyone I could to let them know that I cherished their life and presence in this world. I’ve never taken for granted that people cross my life path for a reason and that I appreciate them as there are plenty in my early days of life whom I cannot recall or never really knew well enough to make note of their days of birth.
These days, though, I save my messages and gifts for a select few. I no longer have a need to stay connected to everyone. Part of me got a little jaded by those who never return the acknowledgement unless told to – thus I NEVER reply to people who post well wishes on social media after it is made known to them…I think it’s a copout and too easy since they wouldn’t have said anything otherwise. I know, it probably sounds terribly selfish, but welcome to the “I’m in my 40’s and don’t care” era!
Anyway, back to MY birthday – obviously. π¬π«’
As long as we have been together, M has always made my birthday special. Whether it has been in small acts or big ones, he knows how to make me feel worthy of celebrating my existence in this world.
This year was no different! It seems I forgot to share and post about last year, so I have been reprimanded sufficiently to make sure that I get on here all the joy and fun that I had in saying “cheers” to year 48!
We kicked it off with a “small” BBQ party with friends at our home. My BFF and godson were here to help celebrate and my local friends really outdid themselves in making me feel extra special (seems I don’t have photos at the moment of that event…).
Then, M and I spent a fabulous 4 days and nights in Paris where we did some sightseeing, saw Le Crazy Horse cabaret show, went shopping, and most importantly, got a lot of rest after a busy month or so. While Paris has not generally been my favorite place to go, I got a better appreciation for the city this time. It was nice to wander around and take in the different neighborhoods (arrondisements). So, here are some photos. I look forward to visiting the French capital again soon.
Here’s to another amazing year of this grand ol’ life of mine!
~T π₯πβοΈ
The winds of change are afoot for a young 18-year-old who is about to set out into the world as a college student this fall. His transition will be smoother than some since he’s used to summers on his grandparents’ farm and having extended family nearby. His US-based support network is wide.
Before embarking on this new life, he came to see us in Italy as his second trip outside of the US and Japan. The first was to our wedding in Abu Dhabi almost ten years ago. This time, he was old enough to fully appreciate all the offerings of a country with both historical roots and modern contributions.
In a similar fashion, his mother took advantage of an opportunity to travel once more with her son before he leaves the family nest. Sadly, his father had to stay in Japan and work. Still, we endeavored to show them as much as we could in terms of highlights of the overview tour of Italy and a slice of our lives in our home. It seems this was a success.
Ten days flew by with the visit of my BFF and her son, my godson. It was such a lovely time with the two of them. We did a lot, talked a lot, laughed a lot, ate a lot, but only drank a little.
I’m excited to see what the next phase of life brings to them both and feel contented that we could share a special time together in the transition. Good luck, E with your next steps into adulthood. Good luck J and K with your return to the two of you and your life together as empty-nesters.
With love always,
~T π₯πβοΈ
I’m not sure who is more excited, me or my BFF and her son. They are coming for a ten-day visit that will undoubtedly pass quickly.
This will be their first trip to Europe and only third time to visit me in my location. The first was a girls’ trip in NYC before E was born, and the second was the whole family for our wedding. Of course, I’ve made sure they get to see as much as possible without completely exhausting them, despite what M seems to think as a ‘backseat organizer-not-organizer’.
Anyway, it’s going to be a busy couple of weeks, so may be a little spotty posting. Will try to share as we go along.
~T π₯πβοΈ
Well, my grand ideas of being on top of posting and writing have all gone by the wayside these days. It’s been busy around here, so I’m finally taking a couple of quiet days during this short lull between visitors and activities. I say “lull”, but we do have quite a bit of socializing coming soon. In any case, I’m here now. So, let’s catch up!
While still recovering from my trip home, we had M’s cousins here for a weeklong visit. This included two littles, which requires a surprising amount of patience and energy! I’m not used to small beings who also are testing out their independence, pushing boundaries, and yet cannot do that much for themselves. π€ͺ
This also meant that I did not have the time, space, or energy to get my own things done which don’t take that much time or effort, but still require a bit of focus. Still, it was really really nice to catch up with them – haven’t seen two of them since we got married! Visiting with family always has a comforting aspect to bring perspective into our lives. β€οΈ
Despite their visit, I still went away for the weekend. My friend in France, P, and I met up in Lucca (near Pisa and Florence) to see Ed Sheeran.
It was a lovely weekend and the concert was ace! He is extremely talented as a musician and his songs are always fun to sing and dance to.
So, all is absolutely grand in the world around here. βοΈ More fun to come!
~T π₯πβοΈ
Well, it’s been a hot minute since I last posted. Fortunately, it was for good reason! I got to spend two weeks with my family and catch up with friends in Oregon.
First, there was my dad’s 75th birthday. Normally, he doesn’t do a big show of his birthday but as he’s had a few moments of facing his mortality, he decided it was a good chance to open up for some recognition for the good life he has. There were a mix of people from his past and present who came to celebrate, including his older sister and brother. It was a lot of fun for me to see them!
Then, there were the two cutest newest members of my family and friends’ circle (matched with the blankets I made for them):
Oh my goodness, do I love a bit of bebe snuggles!
Finally, but definitely not the least, was a mother-daughter trip to Vegas to see “Beatles Love” and the amazing Adele.
Every time I go home I feel like it’s the best time. I cherish the moments I get to spend with my family and my friends. It’s a blessing to be able to make regular visits to Oregon, share experiences and conversations, and reconnect with my childhood home.
Now, I’m back in Italy. However, it’s going to be a busy month of June with visitors. We are looking forward to it! Hopefully, I’ll be posting regularly again, though. π
~T π₯πβοΈ
