Creative Meanderings

Well, M and I had a short but pointed chat yesterday and it has been decided that I need to look for work.

Basically, he will continue to do what he is doing with the hopes that something will work out sooner than later.

In the meantime, I will be looking for returning to teaching full-time anywhere, somewhere in the world.

The reality is that we need a regular paycheck coming in to ensure that we have no more stresses about paying rent, bills, etc. We still owe people money and neither of us like that. It has been over a year now and it just has not worked.

M takes full responsibility for the situation, but I never blame him for it. The truth is that we gave it a go with me not working and the situation is just not for us at this point in time. I am a little bit sad about it, but at the same time I am also glad to have a step forward.

Before, I felt as if I was stuck. I wanted to be respectful of his efforts and desire to not have us in different places. However, the time has come and while he may feel a bit defeated by the reality; the truth is that we are in a partnership. It is not for just one person to carry the weight and if the other can do more, then it needs to be done.

So, I shall be putting my CV out there again and seeing what comes up. I do believe that the Universe and God will provide what is best – just have to look for the best door of opportunity to open up and go through. 😉

~T 😀

It has not happened yet, but I can feel the pattern beginning.

Last night, I fell asleep peacefully around 10pm, woke up a little here and there, but suddenly at 11:44pm, I was awake. My mind began to move with thoughts and tinges of worry.

We have given our two months notice for the apartment. This means we need to know what we are doing – staying in the country or leaving.

If we stay, then we need to be sure to know where we are moving to and for how long. Given that neither of us have visas, this is a bit of a tricky situation. Also, since we have two fur balls, it is also another consideration to take into account when looking at moving.

If we go, then we need to decide on where as the when is already determined.

In either direction, we need funds. This is a huge concern for me. Although we have been managing well and gotten to a point where we are nearly on track, especially with bills, there are still a few immediate outstanding debts that need to be taken care of before we can also move on.

M says all is in working out in our favor and not to worry. I do trust him – partially because I have no other choice and partially because I just do for some reason 😛 – so that is at least one thing I do not have to worry about. I mean, I suppose I could be in denial or have a sense of needing to trust him for what else do I have, but I do not think that any of that is actually true in this case. I believe in him and his ability to make life better. I also believe it is something that he needs to do for himself as much as for me and for us. So, it requires patience on my end.

It also requires my own proactivity in trying to develop online income whether through writing or through blogging or whatever it may be. I do need to take these steps, but I also need money to do some of it in terms of marketing, design, etc.

So…it is coming together, but there may still be a few sleepless nights in AD anyway coming….

~T 😀

For a while now we have been doing Airbnb with one of our rooms in our over-sized apartment. It is a way of making some extra money and also making use of the space. In previous years, I hosted guests on Couchsurfing. However, it is more difficult in this country to Couchsurf, but recently the Airbnb has become legal and encouraged in some ways.

We have had a few come and go. For the most part, I make it clear that interaction with us is probably unlikely so as to avoid any expectations of us as hosts other than providing space to sleep and rest.

My introverted ways find this the best policy to keep and still enjoy the experience of doing Airbnb.

Three weeks ago, we had a guest arrive with whom we quickly became friends.

It is a rare occasion that this happens, but from our very first conversation there was a connection for M as well as for me. R was an amazing guest, great conversationalist and kept us laughing throughout the weeks that he stayed.

After the first week through Airbnb, we invited him to stay for as long as he liked since he was so easy to get along with.

Now, three weeks later, he has moved on to Dubai. There is a chance that he might come back, but in the meantime it is strange to not have him around.

I used to think it was a bit weird to say that one is missed after a visit or that the place is ‘quiet’ when others are gone, but over the years of coming and going I realized this is true. Even with someone who was only in our lives for three weeks, his presence is missed in the house.

Perhaps it is true that our souls leave a little bit behind when our paths cross. This is the meaning of missing someone or when death takes us, the piece that is left behind that we mourn over.

So, even though it was a short period of time for our paths to cross, R’s presence is missed. No doubt we shall keep in touch and perhaps see each other again somewhere someday. 🙂

~T 😀