Creative Meanderings

As we get older our sex drive is meant to go down a bit or at least level out somewhat. They say that women’s drive tends to go down below the level of men during the middle age years, which is used at times to explain why men might look for outside of marriage satisfaction – though never an acceptable excuse in my book.

As a teenager and in my early 20’s, I would say I had a rather high sex drive. However, I would also say that I used sex as a way to ensure that my partner would not abandon me due to my insecurities. With my aging years and a more confident sense of self, I no longer saw sex solely as a form of attachment, but rather as an act that brings a euphoric release that can be done detached from emotions if wanted. Still, this euphoria is enhanced when done with someone whom we care about or share our bodies with on a regular basis.

I have been called a serial monogamous because I really do not think having multiple partners when single is all that glamourous or enjoyable – at least it was not for me.

Now that I am married again, I love the joy of having one man who adores me – he claims on all levels…. 😛 However, sometimes you have to be careful of what you wish for!!! My husband has not lost his sex drive by any means or perhaps he is on his upscale while I am on the down, but I am often faced with a lecherous man when I just want to relax. 😉

Since returning from my two-week holiday without my man, he seems to be trying to make up for lost time or trying to reassure himself that I am still his wife. This has released Mr Gropey. He might tell me it is my fault for being sexy, but then if I am fat it would also be my fault for being unattractive. He might want me to wear slim-fitting clothes, but then he can’t keep his hands to himself and if I wear baggy clothes he complains that he cannot see my figure. So, you see where I am going with this.

This is not a complaint – after all most women in their 40s would be pleased to have their man fawn over them as if they were in their 20s. In fact, second marriages can bring out these acts of appreciation that we had as teenagers or took for granted in the first marriage. Still, I might appreciate it if Mr Gropey could just simply be Mr Adoration-Who-Keeps-His-Hands-to-Himself…. 😀

I am hoping that this is just a very short phase whereby I can again feel comfortable bathed in his loving adoration of who I am physically, mentally and spiritually without Mr Gropey!

~T 😀

Death is a topic that we often avoid or try to pretend does not exist until we are faced with the reality. Many people are so afraid of death that they never really live and this occurs in various forms.

Some of us never take risks because of the chance we might die – taking a reverse psychology tactic. Some of us exercise obsessively fooling ourselves into believing that it is for our own health and good denying it is because of a fear of death. Some of us eat a certain way in hopes of living longer. In so many ways our fear of death is masked by the belief that we are doing things for self-improvement or for a general good.

Now, I am by no means saying that we should go crazy with risky behavior or not exercise and eat well. Not at all. However, I am saying that perhaps we need to re-evaluate why we do the things we do and consider if it can be better balanced so that we are fully living without fear of the end.

For me death has always been a welcomed event in life. I believe it is just part of the world we live in like the changing seasons or passing weather. Life, death, joy, sadness – these are all here and part of us. There is no fear in death for the one who has died for they are gone. The fear lies with the living and for what reason?

We, as humans, worry a great deal. We worry about having money, clothes, food. We worry about our status, what others think of us, our purpose in life. While to some extent we do need to concern ourselves with these matters to co-exist in this world with others, I also believe that we do not need to expend so much energy on worrying.

Instead, I believe we need to focus on living. If we are living life fully, happily, and in a balanced way then we should not fear death for when it comes we will be able to say that we have had a great life. If I am sad for those who have died, it is because I feel sad that they may not have lived as full of a life as they could have.

When my grandparents died, they were of a full age and had so many stories to tell. Their children were grown and they lived to spend time with their grandchildren. I think they had full lives. If my own parents were to die, I would mourn, but I would also feel as if they too have lived full lives already.

If I were to die today or tomorrow, I would not be sad for the life that I could have lived, for I believe I am living life to the fullest now. It doesn’t mean that I live extremely and we know that I care about what I eat, my health and I moderately take risks. But, I am satisfied. I do not fear my death nor those around me.

Life comes with death – until that moment comes, let’s enjoy the gifts we have been given. 😉

~T 😀

Pictures say it all…

~T 😀