2023 – Page 6 – Creative Meanderings

Getting Back on Schedule

Apr 182023

Years ago, I realized that being a planner and detailed scheduler gave me a sense of security and comfort. I discovered later that it was a reaction to having some kind of control over my life – something that I didn’t have early on in my development. Furthermore, I learned that it was a positive habit, so the reward feedback encouraged me to maintain the behavior.

Nowadays, I need it to reset my mental state and feel balanced. ⚖️

With two months of my previously scheduled life thrown by the wayside, I felt it was time to get myself back to “regularly scheduled programming” and reset. Despite having tried it a few weeks back, it didn’t take as my body and mind were not ready.

However, knowing that I was near getting the green light to return to a biped state 🚶🏽‍♀️, last Thursday I felt it was time.

First, I listed out the tasks that I have either been putting off for far too long or the ones that I know I need to get done regularly. Then, I broke down those tasks into daily chunks and put them on to my Todoist app that I use to guide my daily activities. This is a great and simple method of feeling a sense of accomplishment each day for me. It is second to making the bed each day knowing that at least I achieved one “good” thing for the day. 😁

Next, I went to my Google calendar to schedule in when these activities are to be done throughout the day. Now, some of you might be thinking this is just going too far, but I am a big believer in maximizing my productivity. So, I achieve this by also setting aside the times in which my tasks can/should be done. Before any reader moans or rolls their eyes 🙄 at this, note that just because they are in my calendar or on my to-do list doesn’t make it an absolute. I am quite flexible with my times and tasks since about 90% of what I do is designed for and determined by myself, so there are no severe consequences of any kind should I decide to procrastinate, reschedule or even skip something. 🤪

Generally speaking, this scheduling and listing is used as a guideline for me each day.

The question might arise as to why I do this. My answer is that it helps me. It works for me. I achieve a fair amount by doing it. So, why not? Besides, it’s also pretty! 😝

The truth is that I do not have a 9-to-5 job. My work is freelance and on my own time. My passion/life’s purpose is to write – on my own time. In this world of constant distractions, living by chaos-led direction, and a myriad of other excuses/reasons that our creative brains are able to come up with to justify our methods, I choose to channel and redirect so that I can feel content at the end of each day and still find the time to enjoy life fully. I do not want to go to bed at night wondering, “What did I do today?”.

Instead, I have a task-list that gets ticked off as proof of having achieved. I have a calendar scheduled as a guide for those moments when I might think, “What was I doing?” or “What should I be doing right now?”

This brings me security and a sense of calm. Who doesn’t want that?

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Ankle Recovery: Week Five @Home

Going Mental No Responses »

Apr 152023

Progress at last! After two months since the fall and nearly six weeks since the operation, week 5 at home was one of anticipation as I have started to become bored with being incapacitated on two legs. Although there is still patience required, I can see an end to the wait for life to return to “normal”.

The doctor(s) have given me the green light to start putting weight on the ankle/foot, do more intense physio to walk and return to light activity, drive even, and whatever else I can do within reason. The joy is real and my eagerness is on edge, but I am trying not to go too crazy.

The bandages also came off today. The pic isn’t pretty, but it is looking good.

So, now I am mindfully stepping with the help of my crutches. I have only once or twice put full weight on the foot, but that is still a ginger action since there is still bruising on the bottom of my feet and around the ankle. Plus, the muscles are not quite ready yet. I get a bit of swelling in the foot and toes if I do “too much” so I keep an eye on it and remind myself to rest as well.

Each step is one towards a return to freedom and regular life again, so I continue with a smile and bolstered hope!

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Easter Fun

Going Mental 1 Response »

Apr 122023

We love to host a party. With M’s sisters and nephew visiting over the Easter holiday, what more reason did we need to gather 25 more of our friends over for food, drink, and merriment?

Despite not being able to do much, I managed to create table decor and with the help of my SIL, we got the large table indoors and set, plus M had help in the kitchen. Everyone brought a dish to go with the main lamb plate and no one left hungry. Also, a few of our friends have their own wines, so there were drinks-a-plenty to go around. Thanks to a few photographers in the mix, we were able to get a bunch of lovely pictures as well.

It is always fun to see how people will mix and mingle, but with this lot there was no problem at all. It was a wonderful spring celebration where even the weather cleared a bit to enjoy an outdoor fire and laughs.

Happy Easter! 🐣

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Ankle Recovery: Week Four @Home

Going Mental No Responses »

Apr 062023

Well, my doctor’s visit on Friday last week went positively. They took out the remaining stitches and pins/staples giving us a week off from our next visit, so in two weeks I’ll return for another check up. In the meantime, I will have regular physio appointments closer to home.

My physio sessions are starting to get more intensive as increased mobility and flexibility in the ankle and leg muscles for that area need to be stimulated after nearly six weeks of being unused. It is something odd to observe what used to be a fairly healthy and toned muscle waste away into flabby skin and zero resistance.

The therapist said that it takes 100 days to recover from trauma. This is the case regardless of whether the trauma is mental, physical or a combination of the two. A physical injury carries mental trauma even if we do not realize it.

I tend to think of myself as pretty strong mentally and my physical health is fairly good, but it really is unexplainable the toll that is taken on the mind when the body fails to work as it should. Although I do not fear re-injury or doing something that could cause something else to go wrong, I am aware of a greater imbalance in myself than before.

It takes a lot of mental acrobatics to get myself going each day thanks to the extra effort required for showering, dressing, and getting downstairs or preparing to do something productive for the day. By the time, I am “ready”, I generally feel exhausted and have to push myself to keep going. Using the knee scooter definitely makes a difference from the crutches as I can move around to clean up the kitchen or pick up things here and there since a man-clean is not quite the same as a Tara-clean. 😅

Still, I feel impatient to get back on my feet.

Each day, I push a little more than I probably should to exercise my ankle to be in the right position for standing or stretch the toe muscles so that when I get the green light to put weight on it, I’ll be ahead of the training game. Of course, I understand that it is very likely that there is “beating” the game in this case, but at minimum I feel as if I am making the effort and doing as much as I can.

It’s hard to accept that I am only about halfway through the recovery process, but at the same time I hardly feel like it was only three and a half weeks ago that I had surgery. So, with the slow there is the quick. No doubt, in another week or so I will be forgetting that I couldn’t walk. 😬🤪

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Ankle Recovery: Week Three @France

Going Mental No Responses »

Apr 042023

We got the OK to take a few days off to go to France last week, so we packed up the car and set off on our road trip to Lorgues.

Late last year, we agreed to rent an apartment for a year in the area where we started our European adventure in October 2020. Since we have friends in the area now, it is the place that I/we go back to for a visit somewhat regularly. As I was taking writing retreats regularly last year and had planned to continue them this year, it made sense to have our own place rather than keep doing a round robin circle of staying with friends. Plus, the place has a well-fenced in area for including the pups on a road trip.

We had planned to get to the apartment in early March when it was ready to set up for use and occasional renting out as high season approaches. Obviously, those plans got a bit delayed so we were keen to get there as soon as possible.

Because we also had a dog-sitter helping us for a bit, we took advantage of the chance to go without the dogs for the first visit.

It was nice to get away for a few days even though M had to do most of the heavy work. It was also an experience for me to try to be “normal” on crutches, which was a less enjoyable eye-opening experience and reminder that patience is a muscle that needs constant training.

The really nice aspect of the apartment is that it is located below that of one of my good friends. This means that I don’t have to travel much to see her and we have someone willing and able to help us out in ensuring the place is safe and in good condition when we or visitors arrive.

So, we passed the time organizing the place, catching up with friends, and drinking rosé, which seems to only taste lovely in the French sun.

There is still some work to be done as it is a good size place that needs a bit of home touches, but it has the basics and will be the perfect space for combining my writing retreats and French getaway – plus road trip with the pups! 😅

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Ankle Recovery: Week Two @Home

Going Mental No Responses »

Mar 232023

As someone who likes consistency, it has been an interesting process to accept that each day is different from the one before. Some days I awaken with a lot of energy and focus while others I find myself extra tired and unmotivated to do much. However, this week I did decide to create a kind of schedule for myself to tentatively follow each day to start to rebuild my stamina and productivity levels as I am about halfway through my non-weight-bearing period of post-surgery recovery.

When friends heard of my situation, many have advocated the intake of protein and collagen to help the healing process. In the sunnier seasons, I have been a big fan of smoothies as a way of increasing my protein intake since we try not to eat too much red meat these days. As part of the smoothie ingredients, I do usually add in plant-based protein powder, green juice powder, collagen, homemade peanut butter, fruit, banana, yogurt, and other goodies as I find them. I’ve started adding in some orange juice to ensure my vitamin C intake is good and then include coconut water for the extra electrolytes. All blended into a delicious concoction that I hope is contributing to my overall health and now healing process.

This week, I did get myself out to a cafe on the day of my physiotherapy session. It wasn’t the most comfortable to sit with my leg on a chair, but it felt good to do something “normal” out of the house. Also, this evening, we are looking forward to having some friends over for the first visit of the spring and since my return home. So, I am very much looking forward to that.

Our fingers are crossed for my doctor’s visit tomorrow in that they will hopefully start removing stitches and staples as everything feels like it is closing up – though I haven’t checked as I’m not brave enough to take off the bandages at home. 😅 If that all goes well, then…we should be able to get the go-ahead to spend a few days in France where we want to get our rental apartment there set up for visits and visitors/guests who might want to use it since holiday season is fast-approaching.

So, little by little, life is slowly returning to a more hopeful normal. We are starting to make plans again for socializing, entertaining, and activities especially with the weather improving. I am fairly confident that once I can put some weight back on the leg, the road to full recovery will be smooth. Here’s hoping! 🤞🏽

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Happy Spring Equinox 2023

Going Mental No Responses »

Mar 212023

For many years, I had no real interest in the cycles of the seasons. When Japanese people and Japanophiles would say “I love that Japan has four seasons”, I would roll my eyes 🙄 with disdain at such a cliché and trivial statement.

With the forced time to sit still with my thoughts, I have discovered that perhaps I was being a bit too dismissive, or dare I say immature and arrogant 😬, about what these people may have meant in their words. To be fair, I may be attributing too much credit to them now in my moment of softness. 🤪

Still, today, during my brief meditation (trying to build myself back into the routine of it), I listened to the birds singing, our pups squealing and barking as they ran in the playground of our woodlands, and felt the warmth of the spring sun warm my face as I centered on my breath and the healing of my ankle. In the listening, I heard a whisper of appreciation in the consistency of the seasons.

Often, I can control my pain tolerance by impressing upon my mind that all things are temporary. Pain cannot last forever if we maintain a strong and healthy body. Illnesses come and go. Even people can be passing through our lives. In accepting the fleeting reality of life, we learn to appreciate the current moment. This is one of the main teachings of mindfulness meditation. It is also somehow one of the most difficult concepts to embrace with regularity and efficacy.

It was in this awareness of the coming of spring that I acknowledged the passing of winter. The past two days were chilly and grey, which affected my mood. Being aware of its effect, I did my best to stay upbeat, but it was difficult. Luckily, I could hide away in my room, take naps and escape with my crime TV shows. Then, today, the sun returned lifting my mood in celebration for the Spring Equinox.

In Japan, today is a national holiday. It is one of the few countries that celebrates “nature” as a reason to break up the regular routine of life. While other places might have a period of spring fairs or celebrations, they are not days off.

So, perhaps there is something to appreciating four distinct seasons. Or, perhaps, the main point is to appreciate that somewhere like Japan takes time to notice and celebrate them. Most importantly, though, we can learn to appreciate, notice, and celebrate as individuals no matter where we are.

Therefore, today, I feel positive with warmth as the spring season begins.

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Ankle Recovery: Week One @Home

Going Mental 3 Responses »

Mar 162023

Well, it has been almost a week at home and there have definitely been some ups and downs. Thankfully, we are mostly on the ups side – literally and figuratively.

I was not fully prepared for the amount of energy it takes to move around with one useless limb. Plus, all my mental energy seems to be going toward healing rather than on more intellectual pursuits, which makes it hard to focus on writing, reading, or doing anything remotely productive.

Luckily, the weather has improved, so despite a bit of a chilly wind, I am able to sit outside to get some natural Vitamin D and try to return some color to my skin that was depleted from three weeks indoors.

Still, being a sort of burden to others is not something I excel at. I’m used to being independent and thought of as useful. However, just trying to change the sheets on our bed took me 30 minutes or more yesterday. Obviously, I did it out of choice and stubbornness more than anything else.

The doctor told me to stay mostly bed-bound with leg raised until we go in for a checkup tomorrow. The stitches and staples still need time to heal up. The physiotherapist told me to try to sit up more and get the blood flowing so that independence can be gained faster. Seemingly contradictory commands makes it hard to know what is the right thing to do. So, in the end, I listen to my own body and mind. I do mostly keep myself half-sitting up with the leg raised above my heart as I do not want to prolong the healing of the operated area from healing up. My physio will go faster and easier then. From my first two physio sessions, I think my body is doing a good job of making use of my healthy lifestyle and remaining strong, flexible, and agile.

Thus, overall, despite a bit of adjusting with the other member of the house on how to navigate my lack of movement with his own, it has been a good week. No matter, what it is better to have a view from my balcony than of the TV screen from a room of isolation.

Hopefully, the healing will be satisfactory after our doc visit tomorrow so that I can continue to make good progress back to the world of the walking!

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Surgery ✔️ – On to Recovery

Creative Meanderings 1 Response »

Mar 102023

Well, two weeks later, it’s done.

I was gone from my room for over nine hours, and the docs said it took more than four hours to put my ankle back together through three insertion points. There was some talk of recreating ligaments and pulling of the skin, which explained the very uncomfortable pain I felt the next day.

However, two days later, I have yet to have any more pain medication and rocked my first crutches walk down the hallways. I imagine it is my determination to get home as soon as I can that is pushing me through.

The foot is still rather swollen – especially when it has been down a bit for a walk – and my blood pressure is low from lying on my back for 17 days, but there is hope on the horizon.

No specific dates or days can be given for recovery, but the next phase is a number of weeks with no weight-bearing activity. So, that means more time in bed, but in my own bed with a mix of sitting up, lowering the leg, and keeping it lifted, etc.

Overall, my spirits are good. I had one day straight after post-op when I questioned my sanity, but after a second day with less pain and doing nothing but watching, I felt motivated today to make more progress.

Will keep updated here on how things progress.

~T 🔥🐉♋️

It’s Happened!

Creative Meanderings, Writing 2 Responses »

Mar 072023

Well, I did it! 🎉

Although I hadn’t expected this one to be my first book, I am not complaining. My dream of being a published author is now a reality, and it feels amazing!

Even though I’m not particularly a perfectionist, I do have doubts about how it will be received, but I start with a disclaimer that I know there is room for improvement. The main thing is that I actually started and completed a writing project for the first time – on my own. As in, no editor to push me forward.

The process was relatively smooth and with the help of a self-publishing company, it was easy enough to get it on Amazon. Right now, only the e-book is available, but the paper version is coming soon – probably this week.

Best of all, all profits go to me! 😅

So, I am now motivated to keep going with more in the series – it is meant to be a series. Also, I will keep working on my fiction book and other writing endeavors for publishing in magazines and the like.

Nothing like a little success to whet the appetite for more! Stay tuned!

~T 🔥🐉♋️

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