My heart is still paused in a hope.
But I fear with the negative is what I will have to cope.
“Don’t overthink”, I am told.
But I feel as if what was started could be turning cold.
Time is quickly passing by…
Tonight I let myself truly cry.
Too much I already care
Wanting to trust, to love is this snare.
Do you feel the same?
Or is it still too much to give this a name?
Soon a decision will have to be made
By then will what had begun start to fade?
-T
~ January 7, 2009
For a moment I’d like to know you.
For a moment I’d like to meet you.
For a moment I’d like to be accepted by you.
For a moment I’d like to feel your arms.
For a moment I’d like to hear “I’ve missed you”.
For a moment I’d like to be truly loved by you.
Will that moment ever come?
For a moment I’d like to know where I came from.
For a moment I’d like to feel as if I truly fit in.
For a moment I’d like to just be me.
But will that moment ever really come?
-T
~January 3, 2009
The past is gone
there is only today
and thoughts of tomorrow.
Yet the past still haunts us
affecting our decisions today
prohibiting us from the freedom of tomorrow.
Each time there is something new
we think about the past
forget to live for today
and worry about tomorrow.
It is time to let go of the past
focus on the beauty of today
and hope for all the joys that may come tomorrow.
-T
~January 1, 2009
Everything has a purpose
Time is never wasted
For loving is a gift
Everything has a purpose
People may come and go
But friendships are a gift
Everything has a purpose
Words are not lost
In conversations we find a gift
Everything has a purpose
A gentle touch is never unwanted
Kindness is a gift
When we love
When we are friends
When we speak with others
When we touch one another
It is a gift
Everything has a purpose
-T
~December 29, 2008
My heart is on hold
as each day passes
Waiting…
My mind races
as each day passes
Waiting…
Will my feelings turn cold?
Will loneliness be what I have to face?
For these answers, I am waiting…
“Take your time”, I say,
But waiting is making me, crayzay!
-T
~December 28, 2008
Have I told you too much?
Have I asked too much?
Have I expected too much?
My mind spins in circles
Wondering if I’ve ruined all that is good
Causing you to run away…
How do I stop myself from thinking?
How do I stop myself from worrying?
How do I stop myself from hurting?
My heart beats rapidly
Thinking of you and how you might be feeling
Hoping you’ll not run away…
-T
~December 26, 2008
Getting to know you has been beyond words
You’re more than I wished for
How you make me feel seems almost absurd.
As my breath catches at your touch
As my heart flutters at your smile
Making my mind stop from thinking too much.
So little time has passed since we first went out
Yet through our friendship I feel
I sort know what you’re about.
What the future holds, I don’t know
But I look forward to what may come
And I will go with the flow.
As the flutter continues in my heart
And the catch continues in my breath
I feel myself never wanting to be apart.
-T
~December 22, 2008
The other night I laid and stared at your face
The other night I sighed a deep sigh in your embrace
The other night I found myself wanting to define
Whether or not I am yours and you are mine.
Before this began, I was content to be alone
Before this began, I was happy for friendship to be the tone
Before this began, I was satisfied
Or so I thought, or so I tried.
Now, I think of you all day
Now, I want you in every way
Now, I feel myself getting shy
Wondering if you will know why.
Can I tell you all that’s in my heart?
Can we last when we’re apart?
Can I truly let you in?
Is it safe to let this begin?
-T
~December 17, 2008
You said you would be willing to try
When it comes time to say good-bye.
You said you wouldn’t share,
Does it mean that you really care?
You’ve told me of your family
And I find myself listening to you happily.
You allow for quiet moments to linger
Providing me with peace as I fidget with a finger.
You hold me close without a word
So that in just a short time, a night without you seems absurd.
My wall has not yet gone up, is it true?
My heart has not yet closed up, is it true?
My fear has not yet built up, is it true?
Is this really you?
-T
~December 16, 2008
It’s because we’re adopted
that we are
rushing to love
rushing to be loved
rushing to fit in
rushing to be accepted
rushing to be known
rushing, rushing
before it slips away
like our mothers
like our fathers
like our native land
like our native language
It’s because we’re adopted
that we long
to be loved
to be accepted
and to be allowed to just slow down…
-T
~December 10, 2008
