Two years ago I was excitedly preparing to launch The Universal Asian ππ½. Since then, there have been a few variations, twists and turns, ups and downs, but it has become something I am proud of – overall.
Still, for two years it has taken up a large part of my mental space. Is it my passion project? Am I obsessed with it? Could I walk away from it without much pain?
Yes ππ½ and No ππ½.
I am not a person of passion. I get animated about certain topics. I feel strongly about a lot of things. But, am I passionate about anything? Not really. At an early age, I removed the ability to care too much or to allow myself to become overly invested in anyone or anything so that if it were taken from me or I somehow lost it, I could still survive without any personal injury to me. Therefore, the idea of becoming passion-driven is far removed and a locked away concept for me. So, NO, the platform was not a passion project and I am not passionate about it.
Without passion, then, the short answer is YES to being able to walk away from it without much pain. I could shut it down, close it out, and walk away with only a concern for the team who helps make it run as smoothly as it has been, but no pain in the loss of the space itself.
Mostly, though, YES, I am obsessed with it – to the detriment of myself mentally and emotionally. Also, this causes friction when self-funding such a venture. While there are many pieces of advice and traditional business models that suggest various ways to generate some income, none of them are with the vision that I created for the platform or showing enough potential to generate a significant amount of money to keep things independently afloat due to the current numbers in followings. It takes time to get to the tipping point and we only started two years ago.
When I started, I spoke to someone who had shut down her online magazine asking why it didn’t work. She warned me that the two-year mark would be when we would either make it or break it. She wasn’t wrong. π‘
It’s the burn out π― that I had not quite anticipated. I consider myself fairly resilient, but with rejections, losses, fights, and struggles just within the space itself added to life challenges that we all face – well, it’s become a bit much for me.
While I know this project has meaning, value, and purpose, I am tired. I need to step away to see and appreciate where my efforts have gone. I need to look at the space as a user to find the value in what was created. So, that is what I am doing.
It is not a good-bye or shut down. As a wise person I had just met encouraged, the space can still exist and be open/available while I take a breath away. At the end of the day, money motivates. I mean, without pay, the rest of the team is also taking a break – which tells me that we still need finances π΅ to encourage meaning, value and purpose…. Therefore, as someone who isn’t getting paid either, I think it is even more reasonable that a break is needed.
So, June will be a winding down month with announcements and actions put in place to let everyone know that July and August are going to be quiet as we all, especially I, take a pause to recoup, refresh, and re-evaluate future steps.
At least, I realized I was on a ‘burn out’ before it became a full ‘blow out’, right?! π
~T π₯πβοΈ
