Aversion to Change

 Going Mental  No Responses »
Oct 122016
 

Someone said to me the other day that I am very self-aware. I felt quite pleased with this assessment and generally consider this to be true about myself. There is nothing like a little reality check now and then to remind me that there is always room to improve! πŸ˜›

Change is the only constant in this world – so the saying goes. Or, we can always count on change. Phrases like this make me laugh because of their truths and also because of my continual dismissal that they might apply to me. I prefer to believe that I can prevent change from happening and yet, it continues to happen day by day proving to me that only the universe can be in control of anything.

It should be fairly clear by now that I need loads of structure in my life. It is the secret to my success, so to speak, as well as the source of my sanity – if I truly can claim that! πŸ˜‰ By having structure, I give myself a false sense of control. In the audiobook I am listening to, the author promotes the use of structures to reduce the amount of depletion that occurs from worry or stress in not knowing what should happen next. <YES!!!> I realize, though, that I might take this to the other extreme.

Every day I have a schedule. For the most part, I stick to it as I plan my days at least a week, if not more, in advance. The night before, I prepare mentally for the upcoming day setting my alarms to guide me through the day and thinking about where I have some flexibility in case things come up.

Well, this only works to a point. So, when my husband suggested that I may have to make a special trip to Reem to drop off an originally signed document for my visa processing, I am disappointed to admit that I did not respond very elegantly. πŸ™

While I can give a number of excuses like I feel stress about my visa, or I think I have been patient enough, or I had a busy schedule already, etc., none would be appropriate enough to justify my snappy, pissy attitude that I gave in response. The truth is that I just have not yet figured out a good response pattern to suggestions of change.

I have been notorious to go into a rage when a small change in a planned restaurant was suggested…. It is just that I need time to process. In most cases, I will agree to the suggested change or even see it as a better option; however, when sudden changes occur it triggers physical and emotional memories of being taken suddenly to a new home or out of my comfort zone which usually resulted in a negative event. My fight-or-flight instinct kicks in causing me to have a sort of ‘tantrum’ rather than taking a deep breath and asking for a moment to process the suggestion.

Intellectually, I understand this. I am self-aware enough to know that there is something not right with my response as well as the reason I respond in such away. However, my very imperfect self needs work and help in developing the correct behavioral patterns to respond more gracefully. πŸ˜›

Eventually, my aversion to change may just be welcomed rather than defended – or one can hope! πŸ™‚

~T πŸ˜€

Structures

 Going Mental  No Responses »
Oct 052016
 

So my post the other day on working vs not working also brought up some ponderings on my regular visits on the topic of schedules, discipline and structures.

My tendencies for ups and downs are really being challenged lately as I find myself lacking consistent structure. I still keep a schedule. I still am planned day-to-day or even weeks ahead, but I am required to be a bit more flexible and am finding myself a tad busier than I would like to be. At the moment, it is okay as my busyness is in networking, which I need to do to promote the business. I am hoping that in a short time I will be able to decrease the networking activities and be busy with clients or my other aspirations.

Still, I am finding that my writing is getting pushed aside again. While I am maintaining this blog reasonably well and trying to stay up with my business blog and social media, my personal writing has greatly diminished. Although I was working on my novel quite a bit over the summer, it has been weeks if not a couple of months since I last worked on a chapter. It doesn’t help to not have Internet at home, but even when I am taking time to be on the computer I am usually focusing on other activities.

The question then is whether or not I need to return to a more structured schedule. Perhaps I do. Perhaps this will help me to keep my boundaries clear with time on activities and do what is not only productive, but also beneficial. At the moment, I have a full schedule:

Sundays – focus on work to promote new teacher training course in Abu Dhabi & afternoon tutoring

Mondays – Yas Mall walking, coffee with ladies & afternoon tutoring (sometimes networking event)

Tuesdays – morning run with ladies, pottery, afternoon tutoring, yoga client and sometimes networking

Wednesdays – morning golf and coffee, evening photography or networking

Thursdays – Yas Mall yoga, coffee with ladies and a free afternoon/evening (sometimes photography)

Fridays – morning yoga client, brunch or evenings with friends

Saturdays – morning and afternoon tutoring, evenings to relax

So, every day is quite full. I am still trying to wake up at 5am to meditate, though I am struggling with this. When I do I feel good, but then I feel quite tired. I am going to sleep later than usual these days, though not exhausted as I would feel from a full day of work at the university. We have taken the week off from the gym, but I am still doing yoga at home most days and then next week we will be back to the gym for weight training. πŸ˜›

I am not sure how the days pass so quickly and I definitely do not miss my old life by any means. Yet, I do wonder – wasn’t I supposed to be ‘retired’??? πŸ˜€

In any case, I just need to stop to take note, breathe and make sure that I do not over extend myself so as not to lose energy and get worn out. Still, I am enjoying each day fully!!!

~T πŸ˜€

 

Discipline

 Going Mental  No Responses »
Sep 142016
 

Recently,Β a friend asked me how it is going with the discipline. At first I thought he meant my cats or my husband! πŸ˜€ (hahah)

He meant my new ‘work’ life as a self-employed person. It brought forth a common theme that I revisit regularly in my posts and my life – maintaining some kind of schedule or ‘discipline’.

This past week has been the second Eid (Eid-al-adha) holidays that finally marks the end of the Ramadan season for this year. We will have almost 10 weeks now without any further interruptions in work routines (perhaps a day here or there), but for the most part, everyone – including myself – can rely on a more regular pattern of life. Although we are still waiting for ‘normal’ life to return, we have fallen into a pattern of sorts for the time being. However, as you can see from my posting calendar, I have not been able to stay ‘on-schedule’ this week with hubby home and making plans to see people while they are still free.

As I wrote before, it is a bit difficult for me to find the right balance still between allowing my new freedom to be just that and my habitual inclination to need to feel ‘busy’ or ‘working’. Of course, I do need to work on my business, promote a new course for my yoga teacher as part of an agreement/venture, blog, write, and so on. There is always something to do, no doubt.

Perhaps once I can do my writing and office work at home, I will find myself more disciplined. For now, I am working on preparing myself for an influx of clients and being open to their potential timings, which means more flexibility in my sleep hours, etc. πŸ˜› So, baby steps, but every moment and every change contributes to where our future is heading; therefore, I am confident that it will not be a matter of discipline, but rather a contented new way of life. πŸ™‚

~T πŸ˜€

Performing at Your Peak

 Going Mental  No Responses »
May 302016
 

WPPLogo

This weekend is a bit of a blur, I must admit, as we were overly gluttonous and indulgent with food and drink due to brunches and events. However, Saturday was a bit of a recovery day where I spent it at this summit.

If you know me at all, you know that I am absolutely crap at networking and am generally anti-group self-help activities. However, M was working at the event and got comp tickets, so my medium desire to go was fulfilled – I mean if it is free… :P!

I told myself I would give it a good honest go until the first coffee break. If I did not like it, then Starbucks was nearby and the hotel where the event was held is nice to hang out in.

Surprisingly, I stayed almost the entire day. I even met a few new people! There were guest speakers who were given 30 minutes to share an aspect of the 8 peaks – career, financial, social, etc. The moderator was excellent at the time-keeping as well as maintaining motivation for the event. It was extremely well-organized and in general quite fun. While we did leave before the personal reflection and group drum beating at the end, overall I felt refreshed again.

I also determined to make more of an attempt to network and get myself out there. I need to change my mindset and be open to new possibilities of making friends and contacts. Until now I have always metΒ most of my friends through work. However, I am now in the transition period with no job or easy way to meet people; I will need to get clients and; therefore, make a different set of friends. So, it is going to be a new challenge for me, but as long as I am open and willing it should be painless. πŸ™‚ (I hope!)

It is always seems to be the unexpected events that arise that give us the most benefit and offer big shifts. I am very glad for having been able to go to this event and am looking forward to the 3rd summit where my company name is going to be proudly represented! (Gotta have goals!!!!) πŸ˜‰

~T πŸ˜€

 

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