One of the tenants of the life coaching principles that I learned was that we have to hold people as whole and capable.
Based on the belief that all individuals are whole, capable individuals, coaching assumes the client is expert, able to determine what is best for their lives and the coach works along with them to maximize their personal and professional potentials, to close the gaps to create extraordinary lives.
~What is coaching?
If we apply this belief to every person, then it negates the need to nag at them or worry about follow-through. The more that we hold people in this way, the more trust we build with one another. When we trust one another, we can communicate openly and honestly. This way of communicating leads to the development of agape love.
I have been listening to _Radical Dharma_ and finding that there is much to learn in our interactions with others.
This basis of agape in our sense of humanity and community is missing in our society. The lack of it can fully explain why society is in the state that it is in.
How many parents these days fit the concept of ‘helicopter parenting’? How many women complain about the men in their lives not doing this or that, but readily admit that they have never actually asked them to do what is desired? How many partners expect their partners to have a Vulcan mind-meld with them to read all expectations, but are disappointed when the readings are not accurate or even attempted? How many kids feel that their parents do not understand them because they don’t feel listened to or that they can openly communicate?
Everything stems from an ability to communicate – without judgement, without repercussions, etc.
Imagine what the world would be like, or better yet, one’s own relationships and life would be like, if we all felt as if we could trust each other to be open and honest with one another without the fear of anger or negativity. With this built up of trust, we can have agape.
Some might call me an idealist, but those who really know me understand I’m actually a realist. It is realistic to me that mankind can achieve greatness in unity. It is realistic to me that human beings can have conversations that lead to a deeper understanding of each other. It is realistic to me that we can hold each other as whole and capable to build such trust.
The realist in me finds great disappointment in the fact that our society cannot seem to accept the basic fact that all we really have to do is talk to each other with open minds and hearts….
But, since I fully believe in the power of the individual creating a mass movement – after all, we have seen it in action – let’s just start with one person at a time. Who have you not been holding whole and capable that you could start doing so now?
~T π
