The thing about being an expat is that there are cycles of culture shock that are forgotten about when living abroad for so long. We start to take think that just because we are experienced at the way of life we are exempt from the ups and downs of culture shock. Well, a rude awakening has come with a rather unexpected dip lately.ย
Not having a grasp of the language, and therefore, the culture, makes it hard to reconcile the frustrations felt around time, commitments, and expectations.ย Recently, this has become more an “issue” than before, though I know it is not that anything in our surroundings that have changed – it really us not them. ๐คช
M is especially struggling as he lacks patience in many ways with many things. Sometimes he can be very very patient, but not when it comes to agreements that involve business or monetary transactions. ๐ฌ
So, it seems the Italian way is to charm you into agreeing to do a deal with them whether it is renovations for a kitchen, work on a car, or get permissions for structural changes on your property. The initial steps are very active so that one gets lulled into thinking action will be swift.
Then, happily everyone agrees with a statement, naively taken as a promise, of timeframes and what to expect. Hands are shaken. Smiles are shown. Friendly exchange considered to be a sign of satisfaction.
Yet… the time comes and goes… reality sinks in. The phrase “It’s Italy” with a ๐คท๐ฝโโ๏ธ shrug of the shoulders is expressed as a way to soften the blow – it’s gonna require patience and more time than said out loud. ๐คฆ๐ฝโโ๏ธ
The cycle repeats itself with EVERY. SINGLE. THING.
We booked our kitchen to be installed this month back in April or May. We have yet to hear anything. Even our so-called friendly lawyer who introduced us to a new company has yet to follow through. We spend some days waiting around for an answer or update to no avail. Our cars have been in and out of the mechanics for a week or three weeks when it is a day-job at most.
It’s true, some of these things we could do ourselves, but we choose not to. Most we cannot. It’s also true that we accept and acknowledge that there is a “foreigner tax” on prices and even dealings/negotiations that require patience in the learning curve. However, the main fact is that Italians just work when it is convenient for them to do so regardless of who the client might be. The plus is that we realize we should not take it personally, but that doesn’t make it better time-wise when we want to get things done.
So, we wait. M makes calls, leaves messages, threatens to take business elsewhere and repeats his own cycle of frustration and angst. I wait. I ask unhelpful questions ๐ and nag because I can.
Probably, all of it will get done in time – just on Italian time. ๐๐
~T ๐ฅ๐โ๏ธ
