February – Creative Meanderings

Health: Fibroids

Feb 272025

About to head off home for the next week or so, but wanted to get a post out to maintain a sense of normal. So, back to previously scheduled programming on health – my health.

This post, I’d like to talk about fibroids. If you’ve never heard of these lovely items in the human body, let me give you a brief. More properly known as uterine fibroids, they are non-cancerous growths that develop in or around the uterus made up of muscle and fibrous tissue. Another name for them are uterine myomas or leiomyomas, if you do ever hear of them this way.

Apparently, fibroids are pretty common and perhaps extra estrogen along with your genetic make-up can cause them to be a part of the female reproductive system. Who knows how long they have been part of me, but it could have been a reason for not getting pregnant when I had wanted to. Otherwise, I feel as if I really have had no major issues with them except for my yearly visits to the doctor when they pointing them out to me.

When I started my peri-menopause, I got some hot flashes, which took me to a doctor in Japan. She noticed the growths and offered a new treatment for reducing their size, but this increased my hot flashes. Thus, I did not continue the treatment since hot flashes are probably the worst side effect of peri- / menopause, in my opinion. However, since then, it seems that these lovely tumors of the non-cancerous type have enjoyed being hosted in my uterus so much that they have grown and multiplied.

Again, I have not worried nor paid them too much attention. Also, with menopause approaching, I looked forward to their shrinking since the lack of estrogen should discourage their habitation. Well, last year, menopause came, at last. The hot flashes increased. Other minor symptoms presented themselves. So, I researched about hormone replacement treatment (HRT).

Chemical HRT did not seem the way for me.

So, I studied bio-identical HRT and began treatment. My gynecologist here warned me that the fibroids would grow again. I dismissed her concern. Treatment started and proceeded great. My moods were better, hot flashes gone, all looking good. That was, until I went in for a checkup after starting the new meds.

Concern showed on my new doctor’s face. An ultrasound was booked. Then, an MRI with some lighty-up fluid was booked.

The result? I’m off the HRT treatment. I’m on some natural supplements to reduce hot flashes in hopes that they will not return. Seems all good, right?

Well, the doctor has recommended that I have the uterus out completely. The estrogen supplements is not ideal since the fibroids are so prevalent and strong that they will continue to grow. However, I do not feel that I have many other symptoms to convince me to remove it altogether. Of course, there is still risk of uterine cancer and I could avoid that risk. There’s probably other benefits, but as expected, there’s a balancing effect of negative risks, too.

So, what to do?

I’m not sure yet. I’ll share in an upcoming post about my back pains and how they may likely be related to the fibroids. I have time to think about it. I think I will see how the growth is in six months. If it isn’t better or has worsened, then I guess that I can reconsider. It has been advised that if I do end up doing it, the winter time is better to rest in recovery, so I have time.

That’s the brief of it. Fibroids. Who knew, eh?

In Memory Of: Larry Bilyeu

Going Mental No Responses »

Feb 252025

Well, I hadn’t planned to fly home so soon but when you lose someone who was truly larger than this life, it feels right to go be amongst those who also loved him and got to be touched by his light while he walked in our time and space.

He always made time to come see me or ensure we got in a visit whenever I was around. So, I’m glad I got to see him during my visit home last May. His big smile matched his generous heart and my Uncle Larry will be greatly missed.

The Bilyeu Siblings: my dad (Mike), Aunt Linda, and Uncle Larry

May you go in peace and walk amongst the angels.

Health Report: Part 1

Going Mental No Responses »

Feb 202025

Generally, I have grown up with the idea that our health matters are something private. We don’t talk about them with other people outside our family and even within the family, we might not talk about it in too much detail unless asked specifically.

When my grandmothers were aging and deteriorating in their health, I wasn’t around much. I was in my early 20s living my life as is normal. However, when I learned the truth of their decline, I felt sad to be left out of the loop in not knowing the details of their conditions. These days, it is more acceptable to talk freely about our health without it being awkward or seeming as if we are divulging too much information about ourselves.

While I tend to be quite open on talking about all the taboo subjects because I don’t believe they should be considered as such, I haven’t actually written much about my personal physical health unless it had to do with my broken ankle, yoga, or my mental state. So, I’m thinking I’m going to add to the health hashtag with a few updates about recent health issues. It also helps to serve as a record for myself since I seem to be getting more forgetful these days. Thankfully, I’m organized enough that I have my files in order should anything serious need to be address.

First, I’ll start with I feel fine. I feel healthy physically. However, I do have some aches and pains, plus I am officially in menopause.

Even though I do yoga and stretch regularly, even though I walk a decent amount – thanks to the dogs, travel, and the treadmill in my office -, even though I drink a ton of water most days, even though I have a pretty good awareness of nutrition, diet, etc., I still am struggling with the realities of an aging body, and the effects of life’s wear and tear.

I’ll save the details on specific concerns for individual posts, but here’s a highlight:

spine/back – for years I’ve had lower back pains aggravating from either sitting too long or walking too much. So, I’ve had to balance the two.
neck – since my 40s, I’ve had neck cracking moments, which don’t feel normal but so far haven’t caused me much issue except for an occasional stiff neck.
fibroids – I first became aware of these when I was in Japan. Generally speaking, they are not an issue. I took some experimental drugs to reduce their size, but this increase my hot flashes which I now know were my early signs of perimenopause. Now, they are getting bigger thanks to menopause treatment.
menopause – It’s official. I’m no longer in danger of procreating unwittingly. My main symptoms were interrupted sleep, hot flashes, lack of sex drive, dryness, brain fog, and general fatigue. Almost all of these symptoms are now no longer thanks to treatment.
sciatica – This was induced by a Thai massage about six weeks ago. I’m not happy at all about this, but it seems to be improving thanks to some regular physio treatments.

So, I hope to cover these in more detail in individual future posts. Perhaps, sharing my own experiences with these issues will help someone who might come across this blog, or feel free to share if you think someone might benefit.

With that, stay tuned!

Hawaii: Family Trip 2025

Meanderings Abroad No Responses »

Feb 192025

This was a planned holiday for months as a nice way for the family to get together. It was sponsored by my parents for my brother and my niece, and subsidized for us. Never mind that the travel time in both directions was long and arduous, I mean, we were going to Hawaii!

Despite M being grumpy about more travel after our year of over-flying, I was looking forward to spending some time with the whole family. Besides, how can one not love being in paradise?!

So, we had a week of fun.

We went on a Zodiac boat for some snorkeling. We saw a few whales dive and reward us with their tail fins. We saw lots of lovely little fish as well.

We went to a paniolo ranch for a BBQ dinner and some cowboy experience. We ate. M and I danced. M roped a wooden cow. We all laughed.

We sat on the beach, snorkeled and swam in the, what I consider, tepid waters. It was not warm, but it was bearable.

We shopped and ate. We had a ladies’ day out. The boys had guy time. The house was lovely and it was about spending time together, which we did.

The only downside was that Dad got sick after the first day and was unable to participate in all of the above except at home. This, sadly, means that I have no pictures of him to remember the experience outside of our minds, which is a statement of its own, really.

Now, we are back with only a few European trips planned for the rest of the year. Who knows, I might still be on a flight somewhere soon, but now it’s time to focus on work, writing, and resting at home.

Enough is Enough!

Going Mental No Responses »

Feb 042025

*Trigger Warning – if you’re weak or easily offended, don’t bother reading this post. It won’t help you.*

Life on a schedule may seem too constricting to most, but I challenge anyone who says that to a comparison on productivity, satisfaction, and contentment levels. If you, reader, say to yourself, “Well, of course, if you’re on a schedule you’re going to get more done, but it’s not for me.” My reply back, is “Explain yourself.”

In this modern world where it is acceptable to moan and groan over our dissatisfaction with every aspect of our lives, we have become complacent accepting mediocrity, and in some cases even less than that, – even to the point of celebrating it hiding behind words of martyr, busy or phrases like it’s OK for you, but not for me. Well, I’m calling you out and saying BS, if this is you.

Unapologetically, I am no longer going to smile, nod or be silent towards those who moan and groan.

First, it’s selfish and tiring of the “poor me”s of the world. You’re basically living on the sails of those who create the wind to reach destinations. You’re definitely benefiting from others’ efforts while sitting back and acting as if you’re a victim of circumstance. So, as loud as you can imagine me screaming this STOP IT! Enough is enough.

Second, check your ego. Your ego is telling you that you’re too important or too good, or even too unimportant, or too worthless to achieve your goals. The ego feeds on being right. The brain enjoys being lazy. So, if your brain and ego work in tandem then the path of least resistance is the one in which you do nothing and prove your ego right whether it is a positive or negative message. Unfortunately, the heart/mind (not the same as the brain) is the most important component to our state of satisfaction and contentment.

What’s the difference between satisfaction and contentment?

Satisfaction is the happy feeling you get from working hard at something. Perhaps, it is finishing a 10-minute walk. Perhaps, it is not eating that last piece of cake. Perhaps, it is allowing yourself time to just sit and breathe. The sigh of “ah” that your mind and body say, whether outloud or in silence, is satisfaction.

Contentment is the constant feeling you have about your life situation. It is not wanting any more or any less than what you have. It is not keeping up with the Joneses or Smiths. It is being in the zone.

So, when we set goals, create a schedule that allows us to achieve in small chunks of time, we increase our sense of satisfaction. When we do that on a regular basis, we gain a sense of contentment. Over time, all of that goes up.

Even better is that our egos and brains start to get onboard so that you get even more motivated to achieve because they always want to be right and self-important. Honestly, it’s a win-win-win situation.

Now, I return to how I started. Explain yourself. Why wouldn’t you want to create a schedule, set up a routine, and ensure success? Why would you want to continue to be a victim, martyr and complacent?

P.S. More of these posts might start to take on a confrontational tone because given the state of the nation, you know which one, I am percolating with frustration and so every little bit I can do to fire up people in a productive and positive way, I am going to do that.

Australia 14/20 Days

Meanderings Abroad 1 Response »

Feb 272024

We are now two full weeks in. This means just a week left, but still so much to do and see.

Even since the weekend, we have done quite a bit. From Alice Springs, we headed to Darwin which is popular for seeing the crocodiles. Obviously, we made sure that we did a tour.

It was great fun. We also did a hike in the Litchfield National Park, which was very hot, but also worth the visit.

Cascades, Lorikeet, Florence falls, and Cathedral termite tower

Now, we are in Adelaide. More updates on our activities here later!

Australia Week 1.5

Meanderings Abroad 4 Responses »

Feb 232024

It’s definitely a lot warmer here in Australia than in Italy at the moment. Luckily, the sightseeing has been so enjoyable that it has made the temperatures bearable.

We had a lovely time in Byron Bay after a rather challenging night in Brisbane. We stayed in an area near the airport, which I wouldn’t recommend. It also encouraged us to adjust our schedule a bit to stay longer in Byron Bay rather than rushing back to the city.

It was fortuitous that we did so as M and D got to meet up with a cousin neither had seen, or perhaps met, for years. It was, of course, my first time to meet them as well. So, it was a nice family catchup visit along with the chill vibe of a beach life.

Upon our return to Brisbane, we stayed in a different area at a nicer hotel. Although two nights would have been OK, one was sufficient in giving us a taste of the city and appreciating the luxurious conveniences of life before heading to the middle of the country.

Then, it was off to Alice Springs where we spent two nights. The first full day was a long bus tour out to Uluru (previously known as Ayer’s Rock) and The Olgas, or Kata Tjuṯa. It was worth the long day of travel to see this amazing natural wonder and to learn a bit more of the history, culture of the original people of Australia.

We are now in Darwin – updates on that and our next moves after the weekend.

By the way, click on the pics for the link to our Instagram account where more pics can be seen. Eventually, I’ll try to put together a full Australia tour summary post when we get back home.

Back in Oz

Meanderings Abroad No Responses »

Feb 162024

It’s not actually Australia Day, but it was the only image available that worked for the theme.

As our second visit, it is nice to be back. This time, though, we are going to be seeing more of the country than before. It will actually be a busy tour, but that is part of the fun – in my opinion. After the length of the travel to get here (about 36 hours door to door and then having to wait three hours to check in to our hotel room), I am not sure how eager we will be to come again. Of course, if there is a reason, we never really say no to traveling.

Anyway, the first day was just arriving, waiting for our room, and trying to adjust to the new time zone. We did manage to go for a lovely dinner with D and her friend R. Easy and stress-free is the way to be!

Yesterday was Day 2/20 and so went in to the Sydney Opera House area (Circular Quay) where we had a little wander around.

It was a chill day as we were basically just waiting to get our flight out to Brisbane, where we will be heading to Byron Bay for a couple of days and then back to Brisbane for another day or so.

So…not much to add for now, but will try to share a bit here and there as we go along.

Class Never Ages

Going Mental No Responses »

Feb 122024

It’s award season. Whether or not she would agree, I always felt that watching the Grammy’s or Oscar’s was something my mom and I bonded over. Probably, at the time, it never seemed like it meant much to me and over the years, she wouldn’t know that I make a point of watching these shows as an act of nostalgia. (Now you know, Mom!)

For the most part, I barely keep up with the latest of anything. I feel pretty content in my life that it is not important for me to know who’s who. However, I had heard that there were some legends performing at this year’s Grammy’s so I tuned in (after it aired live).

I was not disappointed by the performances. Even the newbies to me were entertaining.

Yet, I was disappointed by those who have today’s spotlight amongst the youth. Now, I realize that I might be showing my age (gasp!), but I felt a real un-relatability to the likes of Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift. While the masses seem to enjoy jumping on the bandwagon of either hate or love for these two, especially TS, I could really care less. I enjoy some tunes from both and dislike many tunes from both. That is not the age gap, in my opinion.

What is the issue at hand, is the lack of class. Both of these ladies, who are touted as being role models for young females of today, gave acceptance speeches that were contradictory and lacking humility. “I accept this award, but I don’t need this award.” “Thank you for this, but it doesn’t mean anything because I’ll keep doing what I do.” “I’ve already won so many of these, but I make my music for you.” These kinds of words are so strange.

At the crux of it for me, was the lack of etiquette, appreciation, and humility to be recognized. In this growing entitled, social media is everything world, I cannot relate to the inability to simply say “Thank you. I appreciate the recognition and I hope to keep making music that you all continue to enjoy.” That’s all they need to say. Nothing more.

Anyway, as my dad likes to repeatedly point out, giving them time and attention feeds into the problem. Or, at least I choose to turn his words into a more proactive statement. So, this is all the attention I will give to them for now. I’m sure I’ll have some words about the Super Bowl and the media’s obsession over TS… I mean seriously, who really cares?? Ooops, getting ahead of myself. In my usual tradition, I shall be spending some time on YouTube watching the adverts, highlights of the game, and then will pontificate in a later post – perhaps.

We leave tomorrow for three weeks in Australia, so I just might have better things to do with my time!

Year of the Dragon 2024

Going Mental 1 Response »

Feb 092024

There are certain cultural elements that I have acquainted myself with as it relates to my Asian heritage. While I do not lament that I never knew about these aspects of my original roots, I find that there is a sense of familiarity in acknowledging them. Take, for example, the Lunar New Year.

Thanks to modern times forcing people to stop calling it Chinese New Year, I have found more comfort in embracing the zodiac calendar (which seems to still be called the Chinese Zodiac) where there are 12 different animals that are attached to the Lunar year in a cyclical fashion.

For some reason, I have always been fascinated by the fact that I was supposedly born in the year of the dragon – supposedly because I am not convinced this is true based on certain facts. In any case, it is the year I choose to accept as my spirit animal, so to speak. Really, it’s just another way – like the Myers-Briggs, or astrological horoscope – to somehow connect with others in this world; to feel as if I’m not completely alone in my uniqueness.

Just like Joseph Campbell suggests, there are hero and antihero stereotypes. Just like Carl Jung defines, we all have certain personality types in common. Just like you, or the person next to you, or me, we are all trying to fit in with each other, with this space, with this community of mankind, with this planet, with this universe and beyond.

So, it is for that reason that I take advantage of my ability to pick and choose what elements of my Asian background I want to embrace. The Lunar New Year is harmless, a celebration of hope for what is to come, a reminder for the past, and a sign that all is temporary yet cyclical. In that circle, we find that any gaps we think exist, are actually enwrapped in unity.

Happy Lunar New Year! May the year of the dragon bring peace, prosperity, and promise.

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