Jan 152024
 

Well, it is exactly halfway through the first month of the year and I feel good still about the last bit of last year along with the start of this one, so far. Unlike some years, I do not feel a sense of starting slow or that I need to rush forward. In a way, I feel for once I am perfectly placed and in the prime state of life on every aspect of my life.

Health

Usually, around this time of year, I feel far too overweight and slightly depressed about the state of my body. This year, I feel fabulously 47.5 and fairly fit. That’s not to say I don’t have some health goals this year, but it’s so nice to have a sense of starting off ahead rather than catching up.

So, in terms of physical health, I have a couple more kilos to drop for my target weight which is going to take a little bit of tweaking since we have been unsustainably been eating one meal a day around 2 or 3pm. When we are home and antisocial this is a fine way to be, but living in a Mediterranean culture means late dinners and social drinking. Therefore, finding a balance or rather counter-weight to the lateness of eating and drinking is necessary. This will probably be more of a trial and error method for a few months to see what works and what is sustainable.

Along with the eating habits, I’ll be focusing on getting in my steps, time in the gym for maintaining muscle mass – rather than bulking up -, and, of course, stretching through yoga for flexibility and movement.

Plus, I’ll be staying on top of our doctor checkups and all that good stuff. I plan to be able to say “Don’t hate at 48” with my healthy next winter bikini-bod! hahahaha

Relationships

Constantly, I am reflecting on my relationships and the nature of humans when it comes to connections. While I cherish all of my interactions with others, whether good or bad, I do not need to maintain or force the ones that are not purposeful or positively contributing to my life. Therefore, this year, I have decided to only make an effort great or small with those who fit the bill exactly.

This means that those who do not reach out to me or do not reciprocate invites, conversations, interactions will not be on my list at all to contact. Obviously, if they do make an effort I shall return the effort, but I don’t want to expend any energy considering my schedule, time, and the like. I imagine most people are already like this, but I have a tendency to expect, wait, and accommodate. No more, no sir.

A benefit of this is that I feel as if I have a lot more time and space now to organize and prioritize being with those whom I truly sense are “worth” it.

This includes time with family and dear close friends.

Work/Writing

This year, I have very big plans for my writing pursuits.

Publishing/Personal Writing

So, soon I will be working on advertising that I finished and published Volume 2: Healthcare of the Umbria On A Whim series. It is available on Amazon, but I will be upping my social media and online information with this. It is not meant to take over my life or other writing, but a slow and steady build into something sustainable and passive. Plus, I’ll begin working on Volume 3 and possibly 4 on Housing.

Also, I will finish my fiction novel this year. If all goes well, I hope to have a first draft finished by May to then have beta reads for edits/feedback, and then go on from there. I want to have a completed final submission draft by the end of November so I am ready to submit to some fellowships/grants for 2025.

Plus, in other personal writing areas, I hope to start publishing some articles about travels, writing, adoption, life or whatever in some online spaces. So, stay tuned!

Work

Work is defined as anything that makes money. So, technically, my personal published books are now considered “work” since they are making money, albeit small amounts. Still, I do actually work for other paying entities. I plan to maintain the level of work I am doing for one online company since it is easy enough and gives me enough to pad a trip here and there. The other “job” has always been organically developed, so I shall continue with that as it seems that my role might be growing and work will come in as and when.

So, basically, I plan to prioritize my days with writing first and work second. I am aiming to treat my writing as a kind of job and starting out my days on those tasks before the “paid” ones. We shall see how I get on with that.

Well, that about wraps up my 2024 goals 💪🏽. We have quite a bit of travel planned or to plan this year so it has been important to align my personal goals with a more nomadic lifestyle. I’m really looking forward to our travels! Everything feels aligned this year so far. Maybe there is something to it being the Asian calendar “Year of the Dragon 🐉”, which is my zodiac animal – though they say that Dragons should be cautious this year, so who knows?! 🤷🏽‍♀️

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Sep 292023
 

Well, I managed to complete this task early in the week and so am posting it here now for record-keeping and accountability purposes. Cheers to a fairly decent 2023 so far and here’s to the amazingness that will come in 2024! 🎉

Reflections on my writing so far in 2023

Positives

  • Umbria on a Whim – Vol 1: The Basics was published and sent out in the world.
  • I started OSH’s Letters on Substack and maintained a paid membership.
  • My blog CreativeMeanderings got regular posts most months.
  • Started the year with paid publication under my pseudonym.

Oopsies

  • Writing on and for other platforms like Medium and collaborations fell to the wayside.
  • Work on my fiction novel took a back seat delaying yet another year in its progress.

Goals for my writing for end of 2023 into 2024

  • Prioritize my writing every day – this is my purpose in life!
  • Finish Umbria on a Whim – Vol 2: Health and send to publisher by end of October 2023
  • Work on drafts of Umbria on a Whim – Vol 3: Finding your Home & Vol 4: Making Home Yours – possibly one send to publisher May 2024 and October 2024, respectively…
  • Finish draft of my fiction novel by June
  • Beta readers for fiction novel and feedback by August/early September
  • Revise and send to publisher/agent/etc by November 
  • Move all writing to own sites for membership and any paid aspects: OSHwriter.com (aim is to reduce footprint and focus attention on my own spaces)

Reflections on my “professional” life in 2023

My work editing increased and is starting to naturally form into something clearer and more manageable. Although it was not something I was actively pursuing, I am happy with it as “work” as it allows me to basically read for ‘free’ and use my analytical/intellectual brain periodically. Plus, it is fairly flexible, so it works very nicely for me.

My freelance work with Fruitful continues to flow nicely. Also, I am happy with this work as something to keep me busy when the work is there. Again, it allows me flexibility and gives me a small income to use for gifts or splurges without dipping into other financial spaces. 

So, I feel content with these professional activities and how they have developed this year. 

Goals for my “professional” life in 2024

Although I am mostly enjoying the new English Yoga class that I am teaching once a week online for the next three months, I do not want to continue to do any more online teaching. Since I have already committed to this course and potentially future ones related to it, I will stick to that, but then probably avoid anything else. If I do any kind of teaching in 2024, I think it will only be yoga related and perhaps in person at the studio where I join classes; however, that is to be determined organically.

With the editing work, I will maintain it as is until I feel that it is not serving me positively. Otherwise, I have no desired changes to make “professionally” in the next year.

Reflections on my health and wellbeing in 2023

With the ankle break, this year was a bit of a mix in my health and well-being. I am first and foremost so thankful that I was able to go to a private clinic. Thanks to my yoga contact and financial situation, I was attended to by amazing doctors and got wonderful treatment. Therefore, my recovery period has been fairly smooth and quick overall. 

There is the obvious downside from being laid up with some weight gain and muscle loss, but I am starting to get that back. A positive was that I spoiled myself a bit with massages and spa days when I could. I found a couple of options locally to our house, so that has been lovely to know I can do a little self-care when wanted/needed. 

So, I would say, I feel pretty OK with how my health and wellbeing have been this year all things considered.

Goals for my health and wellbeing in 2024

I am on a bit of a mission to ensure that I do not gain any more weight or accept the dreaded “menopausal belly”. I don’t really compare myself to others as I know that most would look at me and say that I don’t have anything to worry about. However, my health and wellbeing are exactly that – mine. It’s about how I want to look and how I feel, not how others perceive me. So, I plan to keep up with my yoga practice regularly. I have already started using the Peloton app to see if I can include some fitness training through there. I’m not sure if I will continue with it or not, but the aim is to stay toned through light weight training and active through walking or other cardio. This is in addition to my yoga.

Also, in terms of wellbeing, I want to maintain my writing retreats. These retreats aren’t just for writing, but for finding my own headspace and resetting periodically. So, when I have the chance to sit with the man and tentatively plan out our joint travels, then I will also sketch out my writing retreats and outings so that I can satisfy my need for a schedule, which also gives me motivation and direction.

Reflections on the rest of life activities so far in 2023

It’s been a good year when looking back. The last quarter is also looking to be spectacular. Aside from the three months of focused recovery, I have been able to enjoy travel and dining experiences as well as developing friendships near and far. What being more limited did give me was perspective on what I consider important. 

So, a few months ago, I began to do a kind of countdown or count up of how many times in the next five years I can see my family, friends, travel, and do some of the things I consider important to me. When put into this view, it is easier to make decisions about my activities. This leads me into my goals for next year.

Goals on the rest of life activities in 2024

I plan to see my parents at least twice in one year. So, we will see them at Christmas 2023 in the Bahamas this year. Then, the plan is to see them in the summer of 2024 and possibly around Thanksgiving time again. I’ll also plan the next trip with my mom in 2025, if not before.

Three years have passed since I last saw my BFF and family, which is too long. So, we are going this November to Tokyo and they will come to Italy next June. All of that is in the books. One goal already checked off! 😀

As we like to have big parties here and there, I have tentatively scheduled large events for Easter and then one in the fall. I think this year it will be held in October, which sounds great. The rest of our get togethers are going to be quiet ones with those I/we want to really spend time with. For me, I want to make the most of my relationships rather than superficially skid through them. 

Then, there is travel. This is still being worked out as I imagine that during our time in the sun this December, we will sit to make our plans for the following year, so will update later – if I can remember – on that. 

So, there they are — my reflections and goals.

I think I covered just about everything except money, which is also an area that will be done together with my partner. We have tentative goals already, but I want to make them more specific.

In any case, it is satisfying to have this done and dusted now. It is exactly what I needed to feel refreshed and to reset my mojo. For the future, I need to install a process for doing this sooner, or immediately, when our schedules and placements get off-rhythm. Since we will likely be a bit more nomadic in the coming years/months/days, this will be important to have in my toolkit to ensure that I do not get unanchored and waste precious time that is limited as we lead this amazing life.

Thank you for being on this journey with me as a record-keeper and unwitting accountability partner just by reading my reflections and goals.

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Sep 252023
 
How apropos is this pic, btw? 😅

Since this is likely to be the last chance I’ll get for some proper time to sit on my own to reflect on the past year and goal set for the next, I am using this week to get a little ahead. Besides, I never was/am one to stick to the “normal” patterns of life nor a procrastinator to try to get it in at the last minute so that I appear “normal”.

Yesterday, I drove up for a week in France. It’ll probably be our last visit for the year since we have quite a bit of travel in November and December with plans to focus on the house and winterizing the place in October. It is fortuitous that I had already scheduled to meet a friend at the end of the week and M is planning to be away on a work trip anyway. So, with all the stars aligned, friends to see in France, and the weather becoming autumnal, this feels like the perfect time to sit, reflect and set some new goals.

Also, I think that it will anchor me a bit. It’s not that I feel lost nor that I am without direction, but it is that I feel a bit like I’m just floating toward a destination rather than on a chartered course. Sometimes, this is OK, but for the most part I am not a fan of this type of progression. I like to have a clear destination and a clear path. Even if the path is winding or has turns with unknown tangents, at least I can see the path and the goal. So, as I am really the only one who can do the clearing it is important for me to take the time.

With that, I shall sit back and ponder with my notebook nearby. Stay tuned for later in the week, when all being well -🤞🏽- I shall return with my reflections and goals.

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Jan 122023
 

Around the middle of December, I had had enough of a repeated conversation between the man and myself on the topic of money. 💰 Whenever things get heated, he inevitably throws out “well, you could get a job”, which is a rather low blow given that we both know that isn’t exactly true in the conventional sense or the way that I think of having a job.

So, rather than repeat our basically immature circular conversation that never results in anything productive, I just stopped the discussion. Inside, though, the fumes were stirring. 🔥 Using that fire inside, I considered if there was another way in which I could fulfill the job idea in a different way.

There is a technique in life coaching where one is asked to look at the same situation from different perspectives as it can help to find an alternative solution or see the circumstance with varied lenses. I decided to tap into that as the option of me “going back to work” as a full-time instructor or on a regular payroll is not realistic based on our location, our lifestyle, as well as our personal preferences.

Basically, my best option is to work online and write. Therefore, I put out to Lady Universe to help me out. I needed to find more work in these ways to have my own income – even if small – to prevent us from having to repeat conversations into 2023. Despite previous experience with putting things out to the Universe, I have still yet to learn about specificity. 😅

Within days, I was presented with an opportunity to write a paid article for a publication (under my pseudonym), take on more work with my online gig, and become part of the team that I started doing editing work for by chance. All of that happened so quickly at the end of 2022, that I really didn’t have time to absorb it and let myself prepare for what 2023 might look like in full.

Instead, I have managed to just adjust my day-to-day schedule so that I can manage everything, but I still want to set some plans for my writing retreats as finishing my book is a high priority.

Still, we have already planned travel/visits through the end of February and tentative March plans. So, I have a feeling that this year is going to fly by between working, playing, and fulfilling dreams. 😅

Not to worry, no doubt most, if not all, of it will be tracked here and in other writing spaces. 😬😁

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Dec 132022
 

While I was home I came to a realization that surprised me. I’m tired of ‘changing’ or trying to do so.

Obviously, the core person I am is the same – and likely always will be. However, I constantly believe that I need to ‘better’ myself. Whether that is through what I eat, how I exercise, my mental state, my spirituality. Instead of trying to change others, I have always been introspective believing that it is me who should bring about the characteristics and behaviors I wish to see in others. 

In doing so, I have exhausted myself on many levels without realizing that it was taking a toll. 😳

The freedom of family is that you can be who you are without judgement or worry that they will lay down conditions to permit you to continue to be who you are. Although family might have the permission to intervene if you’re on the wrong track, we take it because it is coming from a safe place. 

Although marriage creates a new kind of security, it really never replaces the comfort of family. 

So, in that safety, I came to the conclusion that my focus in 2023 is going to be on me. Not on bettering myself or changing who I am for others, but on just being me. It might seem/sound selfish. It might not even seem that different from how my life and attitude appears to others, but I will know the difference; and, in keeping with my vision – that is all that matters! 😅

This leads me back to my previous post about ‘selfishness’. 

Is it a negative when I say that I am planning on being more selfish? Is it harming or negatively affecting anyone if I choose to make decisions based on me and for me?

In this moment, I think that the answer is NO.

Obviously, should I make decisions later that are harmful then it puts a negative context on the idea of selfishness, but with the contemporary social desire to promote self-care, self-awareness, self…etc. I think that we have moved toward considering the concept of selfishness as more positive. While I am not going that far on the plus/minus spectrum, I am going to try to be more neutral, which is actually more me than anything else.

How all of this will look is still being processed. I know that it means I will no longer be involved in the Universal Asian space that I created out of selflessness. It also means more yoga and meditation time for myself, not teaching. It will mean more time for writing, but also focusing on the areas that can generate some funds to give me more financial independence on a microlevel. It will also mean more time for travel on my own whether in short day trips or longer weekend getaways – I’m not sure yet, but it’s all being thought through as I begin my reflective days in planning for the upcoming year.

With that – here’s to a year of SELFISHNESS! 🤪

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Jan 062022
 

If reading my blog posts hasn’t taught you anything else about me, I hope that it has been abundantly clear that I LOVE a plan 💜. Part of my planning process is – appreciating – what has worked and what has not.

Over a two-year-period, I used a bullet journal 📖 style of organizing, tracking, and recording various aspects of my life. In general, I’m a use fan of this method, but it was slightly challenging for me to separate areas as everything was clumped together in one big book. Therefore, this year, I have decided to start fresh with a new journal 📝 only for recording my thoughts or doing my warm-up writing before a full writing session. I also have a separate calendar 🗓 book to hold my to-do lists and track my activities. These combined with my online Google calendar and tasks system should be effective in helping me stay on track each day. So, this is my literal appreciation and planning.

In other areas of appreciation, I touched on them a bit in my previous post. First and foremost is that we have a house 🏡! It truly is the dream house that we manifested together with our list of wishes. Although we now have to focus on paying it off, we know that this is meant to be our home.

Furthermore, my efforts to find, build, and maintain friendships when we moved to France has paid off as I have a small but solid tribe to call my/our own even in a short time. Though they are all based in France, I am so appreciative of their open arms, generosity of spirit, and love of rosé 🍷🥂! I will try to work on finding Italy-based friends as well this year.

Obviously, The Universal Asian has seen great growth and despite a bit of end-of-the-year drama, I am proud of what it is today and excited about what it will become in the upcoming year.

So, these are the main highlights of my appreciation in the last year.

On to my planning for 2022!

As usual, I focused on six areas: health, finances, career/work, relationships, personal growth, and spiritual growth. I’ll just give a quick overview of where I hope to be in these areas by the end of the year.

Health:

Although my weight is not crazy and I eat fairly healthily, there is always room for improvement. Middle-age changes to my metabolism and body shape as well as ability to maintain has been challenging to get a solid hold on. Therefore, I am aiming to drop to my ideal weight of 56kg (currently around 64kg – did I just share that?!). Once I hit it, I hope to maintain it.

Also, I had a goal of being able to do pull ups, which didn’t quite ever come to fruition. However, now that we have a fully functioning gym in the house, I am going to work on training to be able to do pull ups!

Since I think that a six-pack is not likely to ever happen and I actually don’t think it looks that good on a middle-aged woman, I am aiming for a toned four-pack by the time my bikini body is exposed (around April/May). With a bit of weight loss around the middle and concentrated exercises, I think this is feasible.

Finally, my goal is to help support M in his own weight loss and fitness journey with healthy eating and regular fasting – which will likely coincide with my regular writing retreats. 😆

Finances:

Without giving too much public information regarding our finances, I just want to say that the focus this year is to be 100% debt-free. Given the improved conditions of our finances from just a year ago, I firmly believe this is possible and will strive to ensure that we can happily report that all our income is ours by the end of the year. **This is easier said than done as my other half hates paying bills…** 🤪

Career/Work:

As I no longer really “work” or have a formal career, all of these goals relate to building up The Universal Asian. I’d like to get to the point that we are generating at least $5K 💵 per month to cover current costs and increase other budgets. It really doesn’t seem like much, but it is a slow process as we need to increase our engagement numbers through social media and the site itself. I’m also hoping to increase our team members and writers/contributors. So, again, nothing impossible, just need to stay focused on the prize 🏆!

Relationships:

This is somewhat COVID pending as the world of travel as we once knew it seems to be gone. However, I want to, at least, see my parents and family sometime this year. It may not be until the end of the year, but that is a priority for sure.

Also, I’ve already put a new time limit on my social media apps from 2hrs to 1hr and my goal is to get to 30mins per day. No more than that! Whenever I feel the urge to pick up my phone or iPad to mindlessly scroll, I am going to try to make myself read instead. This way I can also meet my goal of reading more. 🤓

Finally, I sort of gave up on trying to stay connected with old friends last year and perhaps before as I felt that it was too one-way. However, for the people of whom I think on a regular basis, I will aim to make more of an effort to be the first to reach out to them every so often rather than wait as there is no gain in a one-sided battle of wills. 😛

Personal Growth:

This is my year of writing. Everything related to my personal growth goals this year are connected to what I want to achieve in my writing with the help of my writing tribe – Adoptee Writer’s Experience (AWE) led by Ann Peck.

Therefore, I have already scheduled in my weekly writing dates at a cafe ☕️💻 in Orvieto. Also, I have let M know and scheduled regular writing retreats every six weeks or so. This means I will book a hotel in Rome or somewhere else to escape distractions that might take me away from writing. The cost of this will be less than a short writing retreat and gives my introverted nature a break from social interactions as well. 😅

With all of this, my goal is to submit two short stories to pre-determined submissions and have a draft of my first novel by November. 🙏🏽🤞🏽

Spiritual Growth:

This area went up and down over the past year as I taught a few yoga classes and then didn’t, but managed to maintain my own practice regularly so that it is rare for a day to go by that I don’t do yoga.

Still, I have realized that I am missing the massive benefits that daily meditation brings me. I pushed it aside a bit, but am now trying to reprogram it in each day. I’ve started with pre-sleep meditation and eventually want to put back in a morning sit as well.

Furthermore, I am hoping to read at least seven “spiritual”/philosophy/self-help books:

  1. When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi – I’ve already started this as an audiobook
  2. The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield – Already on my bookshelf waiting to be opened
  3. Radical Compassion by Tara Brach
  4. Yoga of the Subtle Body by Tias Little
  5. Bhagavad Gita by Eknath Easwaran
  6. The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz
  7. Letters from a Stoic by Seneca

These are not in any specific order and when I say ‘read’, I also mean audiobooks as I tend to absorb nonfiction better aurally.

So, there you have it. My – planning – for 2022 is written in the end of my bullet journal book to round off the book and the year; and now it is here as a sort of accountability space.

Here we go!!! 💪🏽

~T 😀

Jan 052020
 

I am determined to make this the year of writing (among other things), so watch this space as I’ll be posting more regularly.

True, I’ve posted this before, but 2020 is the year with my big goals to make some changes regarding work and finances – more about these to come.

So, this is just an introductory post of what is to come.

Over the next week I’ll be settling back into reality after a long winter holiday vacation in Australia, but plenty to come soon!

~T 😀

Jan 162019
 

A conversation with a friend has stayed with me when she once asked her father why he didn’t force her to learn Spanish even though it was her parents’ mother tongue. She shared her father’s response as: he was too busy trying to make a living and needing English to care for the family that it was up to her to learn the language or not. 

Along the same vein, I have often wondered about people who play the ‘victim’ card or blame their parents for one thing or another having gone wrong in their lives. At what age or point in life do we take responsibility for our own actions, thoughts, and results in our lives?

In my early childhood there were a lot of people I could blame. I also could have ended up a completely different person had circumstances been different or had I stayed in one family or another. Yet, not once did it occur to me to think that it was anyone’s fault. Or, if anyone was to blame, I often blamed myself wondering what I had done wrong or what was wrong with me as a person.

When I was eight, I developed a “personal relationship with Jesus”, as born-again Christians like to put it. Over time, I have revised the wording, but I have faith in a greater power that I call a combination of God the Father and the Universe. Some time in my teens as I was attending church and doing a lot of Bible studying, I developed a belief that I was undoubtedly the foot or the ass in the body of Christ. Every part of the body has a purpose, but some get the full weight of being sat or stomped upon more than other parts. It was really the only way I could put rhyme or reason to why I had faced my early life challenges before I had even had a chance to be a bad person.

Then, for a period of time, I sadly had accepted that perhaps God just didn’t like me. I think ‘hate’ might have been the term I used as I cried in the truck while talking to my dad about being depressed and generally unhappy in life. It was a darker teenage-angst period of life and conversations between me and my parents swirled around this idea.

My dad and I always had our most meaningful chats while on the road. He seemed to like driving around and I liked just hanging out with him. He always could make me laugh – he still does – with silly comments/jokes or he’d challenge me to think in a different way with his sometimes annoying questions of ‘Why do you think ~?’. On this occasion, I blurted out my frustration in believing that God hated me.

Not being much of a religious man and not sure of his own beliefs, my father replied with ‘I don’t know if there’s a God. I do believe there is a higher power or greater being or whatever you want to call it. I think things just happen to people. It’s our job to figure out the reason and to deal with it the best way we can, but it’s definitely not a matter of being hated.’ or something to this effect. They were the wisest words that I had heard and almost as if God the Father were speaking to me directly through my earthly one.

It was then that I learned the essence of being responsible for my own actions, thoughts, words, and way of life, even though I didn’t yet know Don Miguel Ruiz’s Four AgreementsOr, the other self-help type words that are trending or commonly used in yoga, wellness, and psychology today.

My father’s words, reinforced by what I’ve learned throughout life via experiences, reading, and others I meet, taught me that I am the only one I am responsible to and for.

We take joint responsibility for loved ones, partners, etc., but we are not solely responsible for another’s happiness or satisfaction in life. It is up to that person to make their own choices. Learn Spanish if you want to learn it. Take trips if you want to travel. Go out and meet people if you want more friends. Experience everything if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. Set your goals and take the steps you need to achieve them – whatever they may be.

If we fail at life or our goals according to our own standards, then we only have ourselves to blame. At the same time, if we feel overwhelmed by the goals we have set, it is within our power to adjust them so that they can be achieved. There’s no need to try to find someone else to blame.

So, as I take my steps forward this year towards reaching the goals I have set before me, I look to myself (and partially to my husband, family, and friends 😛 ) to be responsible for my success or failure.

~T 😀

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