health – Creative Meanderings

Health: Fibroids – Update 1

Apr 082025

So, back in February when I wrote about my fibroids, I was told to go for an MRI with some unremembered-named injection. Following that, I was also asked to go do my blood tests for any uterine cancer flags. Even with the results of those seemingly OK, my doctor continued to insist that I needed to seriously consider surgery – and the sooner, the better.

Due to the language barrier, I’m not ever sure if there is some cultural misunderstandings as to the level of seriousness expressed or if, like in Japan, they just won’t tell you when there is something seriously wrong. So, I wrote out my very specific questions in English and asked the doctor to translate them herself into Italian to be sure I expressed myself properly.

I also made an appointment to get a second opinion as I was not getting the answers I felt I needed. However, eventually, I did get some responses and was asked to visit again to check the status of my fibroids after two months of no longer taking any hormone replacement therapy medications. Instead, I’ve been taking natural supplements, which have been working just fine.

Monday was the day. I had scheduled the second opinion doctor for after this visit in case I still didn’t feel comfortable about the push for surgery.

Well, these growths do like to keep growing. It seems that they’ve done a .7 mm growth on one and others with also increased sizes in just the last two months. This is without anything feeding it. My mom suggested it could be caffeine or, at least, coffee, but I only drink one cup of coffee a day and the amount is minimal. No definitive research has proven this is a factor either, but it still could be. In any case, this last check up was enough to convince me that some action is needed.

So, surgery is being scheduled. All steps are moving forward.

I didn’t end up getting the second opinion in the end, because being prodded once a day seemed plenty and there is no refuting the increased size despite not having working ovaries nor giving it hormones to feed upon. Since I do not need any of the organs, etc. for reproductive purposes and I’m definitely in menopause after almost two years of no flow, it seems safe enough to go ahead and just remove future risks.

While the timing isn’t perfect, when would it ever be? The doctor was very strong in expressing that waiting until the fall was not a good idea. So, there you have it. I will keep updating as more develops or post-surgery.

Health: Fibroids

Going Mental No Responses »

Feb 272025

About to head off home for the next week or so, but wanted to get a post out to maintain a sense of normal. So, back to previously scheduled programming on health – my health.

This post, I’d like to talk about fibroids. If you’ve never heard of these lovely items in the human body, let me give you a brief. More properly known as uterine fibroids, they are non-cancerous growths that develop in or around the uterus made up of muscle and fibrous tissue. Another name for them are uterine myomas or leiomyomas, if you do ever hear of them this way.

Apparently, fibroids are pretty common and perhaps extra estrogen along with your genetic make-up can cause them to be a part of the female reproductive system. Who knows how long they have been part of me, but it could have been a reason for not getting pregnant when I had wanted to. Otherwise, I feel as if I really have had no major issues with them except for my yearly visits to the doctor when they pointing them out to me.

When I started my peri-menopause, I got some hot flashes, which took me to a doctor in Japan. She noticed the growths and offered a new treatment for reducing their size, but this increased my hot flashes. Thus, I did not continue the treatment since hot flashes are probably the worst side effect of peri- / menopause, in my opinion. However, since then, it seems that these lovely tumors of the non-cancerous type have enjoyed being hosted in my uterus so much that they have grown and multiplied.

Again, I have not worried nor paid them too much attention. Also, with menopause approaching, I looked forward to their shrinking since the lack of estrogen should discourage their habitation. Well, last year, menopause came, at last. The hot flashes increased. Other minor symptoms presented themselves. So, I researched about hormone replacement treatment (HRT).

Chemical HRT did not seem the way for me.

So, I studied bio-identical HRT and began treatment. My gynecologist here warned me that the fibroids would grow again. I dismissed her concern. Treatment started and proceeded great. My moods were better, hot flashes gone, all looking good. That was, until I went in for a checkup after starting the new meds.

Concern showed on my new doctor’s face. An ultrasound was booked. Then, an MRI with some lighty-up fluid was booked.

The result? I’m off the HRT treatment. I’m on some natural supplements to reduce hot flashes in hopes that they will not return. Seems all good, right?

Well, the doctor has recommended that I have the uterus out completely. The estrogen supplements is not ideal since the fibroids are so prevalent and strong that they will continue to grow. However, I do not feel that I have many other symptoms to convince me to remove it altogether. Of course, there is still risk of uterine cancer and I could avoid that risk. There’s probably other benefits, but as expected, there’s a balancing effect of negative risks, too.

So, what to do?

I’m not sure yet. I’ll share in an upcoming post about my back pains and how they may likely be related to the fibroids. I have time to think about it. I think I will see how the growth is in six months. If it isn’t better or has worsened, then I guess that I can reconsider. It has been advised that if I do end up doing it, the winter time is better to rest in recovery, so I have time.

That’s the brief of it. Fibroids. Who knew, eh?

Health Report: Part 1

Going Mental No Responses »

Feb 202025

Generally, I have grown up with the idea that our health matters are something private. We don’t talk about them with other people outside our family and even within the family, we might not talk about it in too much detail unless asked specifically.

When my grandmothers were aging and deteriorating in their health, I wasn’t around much. I was in my early 20s living my life as is normal. However, when I learned the truth of their decline, I felt sad to be left out of the loop in not knowing the details of their conditions. These days, it is more acceptable to talk freely about our health without it being awkward or seeming as if we are divulging too much information about ourselves.

While I tend to be quite open on talking about all the taboo subjects because I don’t believe they should be considered as such, I haven’t actually written much about my personal physical health unless it had to do with my broken ankle, yoga, or my mental state. So, I’m thinking I’m going to add to the health hashtag with a few updates about recent health issues. It also helps to serve as a record for myself since I seem to be getting more forgetful these days. Thankfully, I’m organized enough that I have my files in order should anything serious need to be address.

First, I’ll start with I feel fine. I feel healthy physically. However, I do have some aches and pains, plus I am officially in menopause.

Even though I do yoga and stretch regularly, even though I walk a decent amount – thanks to the dogs, travel, and the treadmill in my office -, even though I drink a ton of water most days, even though I have a pretty good awareness of nutrition, diet, etc., I still am struggling with the realities of an aging body, and the effects of life’s wear and tear.

I’ll save the details on specific concerns for individual posts, but here’s a highlight:

spine/back – for years I’ve had lower back pains aggravating from either sitting too long or walking too much. So, I’ve had to balance the two.
neck – since my 40s, I’ve had neck cracking moments, which don’t feel normal but so far haven’t caused me much issue except for an occasional stiff neck.
fibroids – I first became aware of these when I was in Japan. Generally speaking, they are not an issue. I took some experimental drugs to reduce their size, but this increase my hot flashes which I now know were my early signs of perimenopause. Now, they are getting bigger thanks to menopause treatment.
menopause – It’s official. I’m no longer in danger of procreating unwittingly. My main symptoms were interrupted sleep, hot flashes, lack of sex drive, dryness, brain fog, and general fatigue. Almost all of these symptoms are now no longer thanks to treatment.
sciatica – This was induced by a Thai massage about six weeks ago. I’m not happy at all about this, but it seems to be improving thanks to some regular physio treatments.

So, I hope to cover these in more detail in individual future posts. Perhaps, sharing my own experiences with these issues will help someone who might come across this blog, or feel free to share if you think someone might benefit.

With that, stay tuned!

Moody

Going Mental No Responses »

Mar 182024

The mood swings are real today and it’s not yet 10 am. I didn’t post on Friday either because I couldn’t quite figure out what to write about or how to formulate my thoughts. So, this may just be a random post of ups and downs, ins and outs.

A friend is going in to surgery today for his prostate. Yesterday, we saw another friend who just had prostate surgery and is still recovering even after a month.

Although I was in for a very different reason, I find myself heavily empathizing with these folks who have to spend any time in a hospital, worry about surgery, and cope with recovery. It’s been just over a year now since I had my ankle drama and yet I still suffer from stiffness and a little fear of breaking it again. I can remember the days in the hospital, the near tears over the thought of another hospital meal, and the creeping despair that one day I might die alone in a room with no one knowing. Of course, the latter sounds overly dramatic, but the thoughts do run the gambit when stuck in unfamiliar, uncomfortable, and unsatisfying circumstances.

In any case, some of my thoughts and energies are going towards them in hopes of swiftness and ease.

Then, there is the grey of today. The weekend was actually quite lovely with sun shining and warmth in the air. Yet, I still had little clouds lingering over me. One reason was the need to get out and away from the house.

Lately, M has been content to potter around the garden, planting vegetables and flowers, mowing the lawn and doing all things domestic outside. He did get me to plant a few things in pots that we moved around the patio, so that was my brief outdoor activity. However, I also pushed for getting into town for garden center shopping on Saturday and lunch in town on Sunday. We took the pups in for lunch for the first time in almost a year and they were little stars – no major barking or even pulling on the leads. Phew was that a relief!

Another reason was lasting triggers from childhood. My dad always wanted me to be outside. If it was sunny, it was expected that I would want to be outside. Yet, I never really did. I mean, I love the sunshine and being warm, but in the spring when it seems most get the fever, I just want to hide indoors. My nose itches, my eyes water, and so being out on a “beautiful spring day” equals misery unless it is in town with a cup of coffee or over a delicious meal – ha!

Of course, I shouldn’t let these things cast shadows. I am an adult now fully in control of my own actions and moods. Still, the mind is a mysterious control center that can surreptitiously push the spirit off balance. Then, before we are aware, our moods have fallen into a valley with only one way out – through it.

So, that is perhaps where I am. Fortunately, I have plenty to distract myself with in terms of work and other activities. I have managed to find some outlets for myself to get involved in, but more on that later.

With that, I feel better now. Thanks for reading me through the process!

Until next time,

Here We Go – 2024!

Going Mental No Responses »

Jan 152024

Well, it is exactly halfway through the first month of the year and I feel good still about the last bit of last year along with the start of this one, so far. Unlike some years, I do not feel a sense of starting slow or that I need to rush forward. In a way, I feel for once I am perfectly placed and in the prime state of life on every aspect of my life.

Health

Usually, around this time of year, I feel far too overweight and slightly depressed about the state of my body. This year, I feel fabulously 47.5 and fairly fit. That’s not to say I don’t have some health goals this year, but it’s so nice to have a sense of starting off ahead rather than catching up.

So, in terms of physical health, I have a couple more kilos to drop for my target weight which is going to take a little bit of tweaking since we have been unsustainably been eating one meal a day around 2 or 3pm. When we are home and antisocial this is a fine way to be, but living in a Mediterranean culture means late dinners and social drinking. Therefore, finding a balance or rather counter-weight to the lateness of eating and drinking is necessary. This will probably be more of a trial and error method for a few months to see what works and what is sustainable.

Along with the eating habits, I’ll be focusing on getting in my steps, time in the gym for maintaining muscle mass – rather than bulking up -, and, of course, stretching through yoga for flexibility and movement.

Plus, I’ll be staying on top of our doctor checkups and all that good stuff. I plan to be able to say “Don’t hate at 48” with my healthy next winter bikini-bod! hahahaha

Relationships

Constantly, I am reflecting on my relationships and the nature of humans when it comes to connections. While I cherish all of my interactions with others, whether good or bad, I do not need to maintain or force the ones that are not purposeful or positively contributing to my life. Therefore, this year, I have decided to only make an effort great or small with those who fit the bill exactly.

This means that those who do not reach out to me or do not reciprocate invites, conversations, interactions will not be on my list at all to contact. Obviously, if they do make an effort I shall return the effort, but I don’t want to expend any energy considering my schedule, time, and the like. I imagine most people are already like this, but I have a tendency to expect, wait, and accommodate. No more, no sir.

A benefit of this is that I feel as if I have a lot more time and space now to organize and prioritize being with those whom I truly sense are “worth” it.

This includes time with family and dear close friends.

Work/Writing

This year, I have very big plans for my writing pursuits.

Publishing/Personal Writing

So, soon I will be working on advertising that I finished and published Volume 2: Healthcare of the Umbria On A Whim series. It is available on Amazon, but I will be upping my social media and online information with this. It is not meant to take over my life or other writing, but a slow and steady build into something sustainable and passive. Plus, I’ll begin working on Volume 3 and possibly 4 on Housing.

Also, I will finish my fiction novel this year. If all goes well, I hope to have a first draft finished by May to then have beta reads for edits/feedback, and then go on from there. I want to have a completed final submission draft by the end of November so I am ready to submit to some fellowships/grants for 2025.

Plus, in other personal writing areas, I hope to start publishing some articles about travels, writing, adoption, life or whatever in some online spaces. So, stay tuned!

Work

Work is defined as anything that makes money. So, technically, my personal published books are now considered “work” since they are making money, albeit small amounts. Still, I do actually work for other paying entities. I plan to maintain the level of work I am doing for one online company since it is easy enough and gives me enough to pad a trip here and there. The other “job” has always been organically developed, so I shall continue with that as it seems that my role might be growing and work will come in as and when.

So, basically, I plan to prioritize my days with writing first and work second. I am aiming to treat my writing as a kind of job and starting out my days on those tasks before the “paid” ones. We shall see how I get on with that.

Well, that about wraps up my 2024 goals . We have quite a bit of travel planned or to plan this year so it has been important to align my personal goals with a more nomadic lifestyle. I’m really looking forward to our travels! Everything feels aligned this year so far. Maybe there is something to it being the Asian calendar “Year of the Dragon ”, which is my zodiac animal – though they say that Dragons should be cautious this year, so who knows?!

Summarized Reflections and Goals of 2023 into 2024

Going Mental 1 Response »

Sep 292023

Well, I managed to complete this task early in the week and so am posting it here now for record-keeping and accountability purposes. Cheers to a fairly decent 2023 so far and here’s to the amazingness that will come in 2024!

Reflections on my writing so far in 2023

Positives

Umbria on a Whim – Vol 1: The Basics was published and sent out in the world.
I started OSH’s Letters on Substack and maintained a paid membership.
My blog CreativeMeanderings got regular posts most months.
Started the year with paid publication under my pseudonym.

Oopsies

Writing on and for other platforms like Medium and collaborations fell to the wayside.
Work on my fiction novel took a back seat delaying yet another year in its progress.

Goals for my writing for end of 2023 into 2024

Prioritize my writing every day – this is my purpose in life!
Finish Umbria on a Whim – Vol 2: Health and send to publisher by end of October 2023
Work on drafts of Umbria on a Whim – Vol 3: Finding your Home & Vol 4: Making Home Yours – possibly one send to publisher May 2024 and October 2024, respectively…
Finish draft of my fiction novel by June
Beta readers for fiction novel and feedback by August/early September
Revise and send to publisher/agent/etc by November
Move all writing to own sites for membership and any paid aspects: OSHwriter.com (aim is to reduce footprint and focus attention on my own spaces)

Reflections on my “professional” life in 2023

My work editing increased and is starting to naturally form into something clearer and more manageable. Although it was not something I was actively pursuing, I am happy with it as “work” as it allows me to basically read for ‘free’ and use my analytical/intellectual brain periodically. Plus, it is fairly flexible, so it works very nicely for me.

My freelance work with Fruitful continues to flow nicely. Also, I am happy with this work as something to keep me busy when the work is there. Again, it allows me flexibility and gives me a small income to use for gifts or splurges without dipping into other financial spaces.

So, I feel content with these professional activities and how they have developed this year.

Goals for my “professional” life in 2024

Although I am mostly enjoying the new English Yoga class that I am teaching once a week online for the next three months, I do not want to continue to do any more online teaching. Since I have already committed to this course and potentially future ones related to it, I will stick to that, but then probably avoid anything else. If I do any kind of teaching in 2024, I think it will only be yoga related and perhaps in person at the studio where I join classes; however, that is to be determined organically.

With the editing work, I will maintain it as is until I feel that it is not serving me positively. Otherwise, I have no desired changes to make “professionally” in the next year.

Reflections on my health and wellbeing in 2023

With the ankle break, this year was a bit of a mix in my health and well-being. I am first and foremost so thankful that I was able to go to a private clinic. Thanks to my yoga contact and financial situation, I was attended to by amazing doctors and got wonderful treatment. Therefore, my recovery period has been fairly smooth and quick overall.

There is the obvious downside from being laid up with some weight gain and muscle loss, but I am starting to get that back. A positive was that I spoiled myself a bit with massages and spa days when I could. I found a couple of options locally to our house, so that has been lovely to know I can do a little self-care when wanted/needed.

So, I would say, I feel pretty OK with how my health and wellbeing have been this year all things considered.

Goals for my health and wellbeing in 2024

I am on a bit of a mission to ensure that I do not gain any more weight or accept the dreaded “menopausal belly”. I don’t really compare myself to others as I know that most would look at me and say that I don’t have anything to worry about. However, my health and wellbeing are exactly that – mine. It’s about how I want to look and how I feel, not how others perceive me. So, I plan to keep up with my yoga practice regularly. I have already started using the Peloton app to see if I can include some fitness training through there. I’m not sure if I will continue with it or not, but the aim is to stay toned through light weight training and active through walking or other cardio. This is in addition to my yoga.

Also, in terms of wellbeing, I want to maintain my writing retreats. These retreats aren’t just for writing, but for finding my own headspace and resetting periodically. So, when I have the chance to sit with the man and tentatively plan out our joint travels, then I will also sketch out my writing retreats and outings so that I can satisfy my need for a schedule, which also gives me motivation and direction.

Reflections on the rest of life activities so far in 2023

It’s been a good year when looking back. The last quarter is also looking to be spectacular. Aside from the three months of focused recovery, I have been able to enjoy travel and dining experiences as well as developing friendships near and far. What being more limited did give me was perspective on what I consider important.

So, a few months ago, I began to do a kind of countdown or count up of how many times in the next five years I can see my family, friends, travel, and do some of the things I consider important to me. When put into this view, it is easier to make decisions about my activities. This leads me into my goals for next year.

Goals on the rest of life activities in 2024

I plan to see my parents at least twice in one year. So, we will see them at Christmas 2023 in the Bahamas this year. Then, the plan is to see them in the summer of 2024 and possibly around Thanksgiving time again. I’ll also plan the next trip with my mom in 2025, if not before.

Three years have passed since I last saw my BFF and family, which is too long. So, we are going this November to Tokyo and they will come to Italy next June. All of that is in the books. One goal already checked off!

As we like to have big parties here and there, I have tentatively scheduled large events for Easter and then one in the fall. I think this year it will be held in October, which sounds great. The rest of our get togethers are going to be quiet ones with those I/we want to really spend time with. For me, I want to make the most of my relationships rather than superficially skid through them.

Then, there is travel. This is still being worked out as I imagine that during our time in the sun this December, we will sit to make our plans for the following year, so will update later – if I can remember – on that.

So, there they are — my reflections and goals.

I think I covered just about everything except money, which is also an area that will be done together with my partner. We have tentative goals already, but I want to make them more specific.

In any case, it is satisfying to have this done and dusted now. It is exactly what I needed to feel refreshed and to reset my mojo. For the future, I need to install a process for doing this sooner, or immediately, when our schedules and placements get off-rhythm. Since we will likely be a bit more nomadic in the coming years/months/days, this will be important to have in my toolkit to ensure that I do not get unanchored and waste precious time that is limited as we lead this amazing life.

Thank you for being on this journey with me as a record-keeper and unwitting accountability partner just by reading my reflections and goals.

On the Road to Healthy…

Going Mental No Responses »

Sep 222023

So, remember when I said I was building up to 108 Sun Salutation As? Well, I did it. I actually finished a few days early because my ankle, back, and legs were starting to get a bit whacked out of shape from the repetitive practice. Still, the goal was achieved and I actually felt really good overall from it.

Although not necessarily noticeable to others, my arms started to look more tone and my belly started to go back to its normal size.

Then, M had some blood tests and physicals done which revealed that he needs to change his lifestyle a bit or he’ll need to go on medication to balance things out. This is not desirable to either of us, so we are on a healthy(ier) diet these days–vegetarian and less or no alcohol.

Funnily enough, it is much easier for me to take on this new diet and lifestyle than him. I suppose it’s not that strange as I’m not the one who needs to change these things, but I digress.

With more yoga–I’ve been continuing to get back on the mat regularly and today started back at the studio I was going to before after a six month hiatus–and starting the Peloton app to build myself up to some other types of workouts at home, my exercise regime is on the upside.

My only real issue lately is not getting enough food. Since M is basically in charge of cooking, we are eating less. This is a good thing overall, but my body needs more fuel than his which means that I need to eat more. Everyone’s body is different and while being vegetarian isn’t really a problem, I do have to supplement with other sources of protein as my body functions better with a higher protein diet. No, this doesn’t mean more meat, but it does mean more Greek yogurt or protein shakes, etc. It also means that I tend to require more snacks throughout the day of fruit or nuts or something substantial.

Unfortunately, I forgot this about myself. The other day, I had not eaten anything and it was a humid afternoon . We went to a salsa dance lesson and I got very hot, weak, and a bit sick from not enough water, not enough food, and not enough cooling options. It had been a while since I had gotten that shaky lack of sustenance feeling.

So, now that I am reminded, I shall be more aware of my fuel intake. It might mean that I have to “cook” more, though! (Probably not!)

Anyway, it’s nice to focus on being healthy and enjoying the fruits of efforts to get in shape.

On the way to 108

Going Mental No Responses »

Aug 282023

So, today I finished 70 sun salutations for Day 16 of my 28-day challenge to build up to 108 in one go. I wrote when I was starting it two weeks ago.

When I woke up this morning, I was feeling keen. I thought to myself that it’s only another 38 rounds to the full amount and so I could surely get them done and I’d have fulfilled my challenge. Well, by the time I got to the mat and had done about 10, I was rethinking my eager self. At round 45, I began to consider whether or not I would even reach the 70 for the day. By round 60, I felt content that I was nearly done and had stuck to my schedule feeling good about the next session tomorrow.

It was interesting to observe my thoughts as I went from eager beaver to doubting Thomas to happy pappy modes.

What I have observed so far in this process is that there is a discipline required and I am building that skill.

The discipline to get on the mat every day, except the rest days, and to keep to the somewhat arbitrary schedule is a test of fortitude and mental strength. Of course, there is also the physical well-being. My ankle is benefiting for the most part as long as I don’t go too fast or hard. I have to respect the motions. My back is less pleased with the movements so that I have to modify on some rounds or for a set of them to give it a bit of a break. However, this gives me a beginner’s mind in considering how to teach these poses for someone who is not able to do them. The rest of my body is going just fine. I see my shoulders and arms toning back up. I see my bum lifting. I am waiting for my stomach to join the party, but there’s still time.

Most importantly, though, I feel good. It has become a nice routine to get up and spend an hour in my own headspace moving my body. Six months ago, this would have been considered a luxury, so I am thankful to my body for its healing and my mind for its strength.

So, only another 12 days to go with two rest days in there to go!!! I’ve totally got this!

28 Days to 108 Sun Salutations

Going Mental No Responses »

Aug 142023

So, I needed something to prepare myself for an online yoga class that I have agreed to teach *live* weekly. I must have been feeling weak in my desire to do something a bit more meaningful when I agreed to do it.

In any case, to ensure that my ankle is up for it and that my body is in decent shape before I go on camera in front of a yet unknown number of students, I thought it would be good to start a challenge over the next month I have to prep for it. The fact that I haven’t actually “taught” a yoga class in a few years is not daunting at all…

I’m sure like most things, it’ll come back quickly. Plus, I’ll practice.

To help me with this endeavor, I recruited my BFF who I know loves a “challenge” kind of activity. Therefore, we have started a 28-day challenge to complete 108 sun salutations (A) in one-go. After having done day 2 today, I feel it shouldn’t be so hard. My ankle seems happy with it so far and I do not yet feel as if I have reached my fitness limit yet. We shall see how I feel in another few days.

For now, though, it’s a bit of fun and motivation to build up my routine and do something with someone else at the same time.

Wish me luck!

Reminders to Self

Going Mental 2 Responses »

Jul 282023

It really doesn’t take long to follow the path of least resistance and return to old habits – whether deemed good or bad.

M came back on Sunday. On Monday, we went out with friends for lunch and an evening out. My stomach was a bit in shock with the return to booze and food, so I went easy on both.

On Tuesday, we got up early and went for a long walk. The finding of a Beagle dog on the road and waiting for her owner to pick her up threw off our schedule a bit so that I forgot it was market day as I did a bit of emails, writing, etc. before we went off for a beach day. On the way, we got bumped from behind so that further offset our schedule and focus. All was fine and went alright, but by the time we arrived we wanted to eat and drink. I tried to keep the consumption light.

Wednesday was a quieter day with a morning walk into town for croissants and home for coffee. We had lunch with our friend, but again didn’t overindulge. Yet, there was still food and drink as the focus, which made me feel tired and heavy. By the time I had had a nap, though, all was reset so we drove to Cannes for a walkabout and dessert. Sometimes when we find we are “bored” from lack of activity, we end up eating and/or drinking.

Yesterday wasn’t too bad in that regard, though we still went in for a morning coffee and croissant. I always feel that at least the walk to and from town (about 15 mins each way) makes it OK to then have the treat. We spent the afternoon on the beach, but still had a light carb-filled lunch. In the evening, we met up with our friends and had burger dinners with a bit of rosé.

This morning, we went into town for the usual c&c, but went to the other side of town to get a longer walk in.

While I enjoy all the interaction and activity that we do, I find myself more aware of the focus on the and or simply food and drink. When I am on my own, I definitely have the morning cup, but usually no food. So, I know that it is M’s influence that I get encouraged to include more eats than I might do alone. It’s not a complaint in any way, but more of an observation at how easy it is to let this behavior go as normal yet not necessarily “good”. I had been on a good trajectory to get my weight gain under control again. I had felt results. However, I do now wonder if that is being undone by my lack of willpower to be strict again.

It’s an interesting consideration as to how much one can or should live with willpower and control over diet and exercise vs. just going with the flow and letting the mood decide. As with everything, there is a balance no doubt. I think I am still working that out, which is slightly harder to do when everyday is basically like a holiday….

Now that I’ve written about it, it’ll stay in the forefront of my mind for pondering and perhaps I shall return my awareness to the center so as not to lose the benefits that I was getting.

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