Since our trip to Venice, I have been pondering the idea of “bucket lists” and contemplating the reason I don’t have one – or so I think.
For a while, it was all the rage to have a bucket list and people would do something on their list, share it, and feel satisfied that they could tick something off their list. Sadly, the desire to tick/check it off the list became more important than enjoying the experience that might have been the real reason someone wanted to do that thing in the first place. These days, it’s as if we are just collecting stars like on a childhood sticker chart for having done something rather than feeling content with living in the moment. I’m sure this is a blanket statement and many people may not behave this way, but you get what I mean.
For me, I always felt the idea of a bucket list to be just another way for most people to lament about how they haven’t done the things they’ve wanted in their lives. So, instead of seeing it as a “want to do” list, I see it as a “wish I could” list. To a language nerd, these do not hold the same meaning.
A “want to do” is with a plan that leaves room for error, but it will get done.
A “wish I could” is an idea that leaves room for excuses, sighs, lamentations, and belief that they can/will not happen.
These terms could be argued, but the main point is that I do not see life as a list of things I wish I could do. I see it as a plan to do the things I want.
So, if I want to see China, I have a plan to do it. I’m not going to wait until “someday”, but I do have a real plan in the next few years to get on a tour and see it. In contrast, I can be heard saying I wish I could skydive. While I know that it is fully within my capability to go find a way to jump out of an airplane and scream into the vast atmosphere until a parachute (hopefully) opens up to quiet the space around me as I float, I know that I will not actually do this – or at least the probability is less than 50%. First, the wish is not strong enough to make it happen; and well, I’ve got a lot of other things I want to do so that it is not a priority. That’s not say I wouldn’t do it if the chance presented itself easily, though.
Also, I see a bucket list as a bit morbid. People always use it in phrases like, “I want to tick this off my bucket list before I die.” Death is always connected with it. It’s the same idea as “I’ll do that when I retire.”
Although I fully appreciate that people have limits financially, time-wise, work-wise, or family and social obligations, I do not believe that we must wait until a so-called “perfect” situation arises to make the things we really want happen. It’s true that some things take time to save up money, to rearrange schedules, to prepare others if we are away. However, nothing but our egos and fears stop us from taking the steps required to do the things that we want.
As my life mantra is “NO is just a suggestion to find another way to YES”, I live without worry about how or when I can do the things I want.
Still, I have moments of doubt when my “little B with an itch” voice threatens to convince me that I’m just fooling myself or that I’m in some sort of alternate reality where life is some kind of fantasy. I suppose all that might be true.
However, I choose to make lists of action not ones of sitting and wistfully sighing about someday ticking something off a my bucket list…. I believe everyone can and should do this too!
~Tπ₯πβοΈ
