humanity – Creative Meanderings

Pondering & Pontification

Sep 132022

On an individual basis, humans can cause a feeling of great respect – like for the late Queen of England – or grave disappointment. Recently, I lamented a sense of discouragement in the actions of someone I know. Yet, I haven’t quite figured out the root of why I feel this way.

Truthfully, I hardly know this person. She is really barely more than an acquaintance despite her long friendship with M. However, after investing quite a lengthy period of time in conversations with her during a visit this summer, I somehow started to feel a sort of kinship with her. Despite our age difference, it was clear through discussions that it is not the number of years that defines one’s maturity or knowledge of life, but more about experiences and an ability to learn from them that gives us the wisdom and courage to alter the repetitive tendencies we have to make the same mistakes or stand in the way of our own life’s evolutions to a happier existence.

These days, with the #MeToo movement, defense of women’s right to have a say over their bodies, ongoing battle for gender equality, and the like, it is important to support one another to feel empowered, independent, and courageous to show that humanity is not based on our gender identification.

However, breaking generational barriers that have brainwashed a section of society to believe that women need men or that happiness can only be found in a perceived companionship despite what may go on out of the prying eyes of others is something I do acknowledge as not easy. Still, I feel it a duty and responsibility for those who come after us to make an effort to raise the standards rather than succumbing to an arbitrary, unreliable, ever-changing status quo.

So, let me be more specific about this particular situation.

A self-made, hard-working, successful woman who raised two children mostly on her own is still seemingly feeling the need to define herself with a relationship. A relationship with someone that NO ONE who has met him whom we know likes. A relationship that she, herself, has questioned, let go of, and ranted about from early on. A relationship with so many red flags that one wonders when the other shoe is really going to drop to reveal what many of us believe to be his hidden true nature. A relationship that, in accordance with the last time we had spoken, was over – much to our relief and support.

Then, thanks to, or unfortunately because of, a social media post, we discover that he is back in her life smiling away and looking ever-so-smug that he has once again snaked back into position where he can continue, what I personally believe, is his long game into conning her into helping himself to her money, house, etc.

Let me be clear – I do NOT think he is a nice or good person. I do NOT think he has the best intentions. I DO think he is deceptive and ruthless. But, hey, who am I?

And, that is the crux of it.

It is not my opinion, nor even those others who all have similar opinions, that matters in the end. It is her life and her decisions; and our job, generally, is not to judge but to support what she does according to what she feels is best.

Or, is it?

So, this is my contemplations of late. I will likely not see her again for many years. After all, it had already been about five or six since I first met her. Therefore, what she does and who does anything with has basically no bearing on my life whatsoever. Thus, that voice shouts out “Stay out of it! It’s none of your business, lady!”

But…

There’s that other voice, the one that wants the world to be more just and right. The one that wants humanity to be better and for individuals to actively work on evolving into their greatest potential. The one that expects more and continues to raise standards – because we all can (including myself, before you think I’m on a hypocritical soap box) do more and be better. The one that believes that we should not encourage nor condone the behaviors of those whom we know in the deepest, darkest parts of minds and souls are not up to snuff.

Thus, this post of pondering and pontification.

In the end, I cannot do anything. I did express my disappointment and then removed myself from having to see any further of her sharings with him – for that is my prerogative. My hope is that we are all wrong about him, and that he will turn out to amaze all of us with his genuineness and love for her. Perhaps, I will then be able to just blame my current sentiments on my obsession with true crime and an overactive imagination.

Only time will tell.

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Beauty or Folly of Man

Going Mental No Responses »

Aug 162022

People are a strange lot. I often wonder what other life forms think of these Earth crawlers as I am both amazed and dismayed by my fellow humans.

While I maintain my spiritual beliefs, my greatest faith remains in the power of mankind to have the potential to create the awesome and also total destruction. If one ever needs further proof in the balance of yin and yang, I recommend spending some time studying their fellow humans.

I sit writing this in the Piazza della Signoria in Florence, which borders the Uffizi Galleries where the statue of David resides. Here, in this town, Michelangelo created one of the most beautiful representations of the human form in the early 16th century. Over five centuries later, we see a diverse collection of forms that are considered attractive in the eye of a beholder.

People ramble en masse taking in the remnants of the past in whatever form suits them. Some appreciate through the lens of their cameras. Some learn in group tours following the crowd and flag of their guide. Some singularly wander with eyes toward the heavens unaware of what is below. Some pass by with their heads down not caring about the footsteps of those before.

Yet, what I find dissonant is the idea that some among those who walk by carry the souls of Michelangelo and other artists, inspirers of the future, or whatever new idea takes us into the next century.

While the “old” version of me wants to lament at the changed times and suggest there is a lack of appreciation for the beauty that has survived the centuries, the more open-minded part of me is excited and awaits what new beauty shall come forth.

Still, as I consider the state of the world and watch the individuals who stumble by, I question whether my faith is misplaced or if I just need to be a bit more patient for humanity to reveal its highest potential.

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Pondering the Human Condition

Going Mental No Responses »

Jun 092022

Humans are a strange breed of creatures that despite their ability to self-reflect and capacity for advanced cognitive activity tend to not behave much better than animals in packs. Humanity as a whole, when collectively-minded, have the awe-inspiring capacity to achieve greatness beyond the imagination. I mean, the temples and tombs of Luxor and Aswan are proof of this – unless you believe it was aliens.

Yet, whenever new social circles are created there is always the sniffing of butts, tests of the masculine energies (applies to women and men), and dancing around each other to find their positioning in the matrix of newly formed threads that connect us with each other. Observing this ritual from the sidelines is always entertaining and sometimes frustrating.

The past week gave me a great deal to ponder and process as I was forced to interact with both familiar and unfamiliar humans.

So, I will save my revelations for another post as I am still in the processing phase, but now that I know I will have a period of time to regroup I imagine the thoughts shall be flowing in no time. 😀

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Self-Awareness vs Maturity

Going Mental No Responses »

Jun 072022

My introversion has been fully challenged the past week or so. I can hardly believe we are already a week into June and I’ve had no time for introspection or a moment to pause and replenish. Well, to be fair, I’ve escaped our house full of guests periodically with morning pool dips or afternoon naps. However, an introvert does not so easily recover with brief moments of solitude. So, today, I’ve taken the majority of the morning and early afternoon to escape to my happy place under the auspice of having a meeting with a friend to discuss a new venture in Orvieto town center – more on that in a later post.

It was actually great to catch up with my friend, but now that our meeting is finished, I’m taking the opportunity to give myself time and space to reflect on the interactions of the past week or so being forced to be amongst others full-time.

Long-time readers, friends, and acquaintances will know that I’m no lover of people. It goes beyond my introversion into a full cynicism of individuals. While I believe in the absolute amazing power of mankind to achieve greatness and be inspirational humans, I doubt most individuals’ ambition, interest, and intention to work toward this. So, my general belief in people as arseholes at the start keeps me from too much disappointment when they prove me right, and allows for pleasant surprise when I am wrong.

A common revelation of a person is in their communications and interactions when amongst new people.

There are the deflectors – those who answer a question with a question because they don’t really want to talk about themselves. This is either from a lack of confidence or a sense of humility presented in not wanting to focus attention on them.

There are the inquisitors – similar to the deflectors, but just start off asking questions of others to keep the conversation away from them, but seeming to be good listeners or showing keen interest in others. Their motives may be sincere interest, or like those above.

There are the ideal conversationalists, who equally ask and answer questions like one might see in the best Wimbledon finale allowing conversation to grow and the art of getting to know others is like watching a beautiful dance performance.

Then, there are the one-man shows – those who share absolutely everything they possibly can whether or not anyone asks them to reveal their opinions or tell tales of their experiences. Not to be a gender-ist, but this is more often than not done by men. No matter the gender identity, the fact is that this kind of person tends to be more common than not.

What is even more interesting to me is when a deflecting inquisitor, like my husband, questions or challenges the one-man show performer. Their response is often what chips away the facade to show who they really are as a person. No matter how old the person is, which we would normally expect to be a sign of maturity, they cannot help but reveal their true colors and level of self-awareness.

We recently had an older individual stay with us. Our judgement of this person had already been slightly colored by a mutual friend providing us with some prior knowledge and information. Still, I did try -somewhat schizophrenically – to give them the benefit of the doubt. However, time and time again it became obvious that this human was not self-aware even though they had 20+ years more of life on me and others. Therefore, responses were often overly embellished or arrogantly hidden with retorts eventually at the level of a high schooler or young 20-something.

This really surprised me, to be honest.

It proved that age does not matter. It is not necessarily the length of time that we walk this earth that helps us to grow and understand the world, but rather the depth in which we allow ourselves to be challenged to learn and improve our quality of lives.

Confirming this doesn’t help my cynicism, admittedly. However, it does add to my understanding of the complex dimensions that make up a human being. While I will still endeavor to respect my elders in the same way I try to respect other people, I also feel as if a new scale of judgment has come into the forefront – how self aware are they?

~T 🔥🐉♋️

Dichotomies of Youth

Going Mental 1 Response »

Aug 142021

It’s true that I have a critical view of the world and people. I probably should have trained to become a judge 👩🏽‍⚖️ as I hold individuals, including myself, to a high moral standard. Also, I am a constant observer, analyst, and commentator on human behavior. Often, this comes out as harsh, arrogant, and not very empathetic or compassionate comments to those who are privy to my personal thoughts.

For the past month we have been staying with friends with an occasional trade-off of watching their daughters. Even when our friends are home, we still spend quite a bit of time with the girls. One (P) has just turned 10 and the other (C) recently turned 12 – going on 40.

While I generally enjoy children, I have never been able to cope with certain behaviors – no matter what age.

With C, I basically have no issue as we have a similar temperament and her being a middle-aged pre-teen is relatable for me. Of course, like any human, she has moments of irritation and clear lack of life experience. I AM empathetic, compassionate, and kind with her expressions of thought, whether with undesired attitude or not. Overall, she has a reflective and harmless way. Plus, she’s a fellow Cancer sign 🦀 and intuit.

On the other hand, P pushes all my wrong buttons 🤬 despite moments of cuteness and acceptable sauciness. 😜 Obviously, she’s only ten. However, she already has a mastery of selfishness, smugness, and laziness that I cannot wrap my head around as my core values do not align. Her aura is one of frustration for me, because while I believe she will be able to outgrow these less attractive ways, I worry that her early awareness of manipulation and deception will twist her path in becoming an upright human; though, I maintain optimism that I will be totally surprised at being wrong about her.

In another of M’s strangely dismissive comments about me, to me, he retorted that I judge no one as a “good parent” all the while not ever having had my own children.

It’s generally easy to throw this comment at someone who is childless as there is no comeback for them. It is also an excellent way to shut down a discussion or analysis of the human condition. Usually, I take it as a way of evading any potential negative criticism that might be directed at the one closing the door of rhetoric. 🤷🏽‍♀️

For me, I freely admit that I don’t know what it is like to raise children and struggle to guide beings into becoming functional adults within my personal life. However, as an educator 👩🏽‍🏫 and researcher in the development of people, I feel that I have both an academic and tangential knowledge of what young people need. The more important aspect is that I view these youth without an emotional or biased attachment that comes with having one’s own offspring.

So, while my husband can be flippant with his comments, he forgets that I am actually educated in helping children grow, as a classroom tends to be as important for creating adults who contribute to the success of society as does the home. One could even argue that it is more so.

Further to his comment, I am not particularly judging others’ parenting skills as I am fully aware that life is complicated and it’s a challenge to balance survival with child rearing. I am in awe of people who choose to bring another life into this world and attempt not to ‘f’ them up. 😅 I never felt able to take on such a heavy responsibility as it took me years to sort myself out. So, I have zero regrets for not having my own mini-me’s, but a thousand respects for those who do. 🙏🏽

Basically, I find it interesting/curious 🧐 to see how two beings can come from the same parents and be so different. I often ponder out loud how to curb what I deem to be more worrisome characteristics in a young person so that it does not become a challenge for them or their parents later in life. Ultimately, though, everyone does their best – for the most part. Nature is a very strong feature that no matter how much nurturing is given cannot always be tamed.

Either way, I’ve been learning about myself and M even more through the shared kid-duty responsibilities and enjoying getting to know these young people (and their parents) even more. I look forward to seeing how they change over the coming years. 💞

~T 😀

Restoring Humanity

Going Mental No Responses »

Nov 092020

I don’t normally provide political commentary on social media or public platforms because I know how divisive such topics can be, and without the ability to have face-to-face dialog on such topics, I try to avoid pushing those hot buttons. 💥 However, there are times when I feel the need to do so – like now. 😜

Growing up, I had a fairly conservative bend to my views. On many issues, I still have a fairly black-and-white, or conservative, perspective especially when it comes to crime and punishment. However, there are probably more issues on which I am either middle ground or liberal, like a woman’s right to decide on anything related to her body or socialized healthcare, etc.

Having lived abroad pretty much all of my adult life, I do not take part in discussions related to taxes or local legislations that I am not involved in. I do not feel that I should have a say as I do not pay taxes in the US and probably never will. 🤷🏽‍♀️

One perk of living abroad is having an outside perspective 👀 on my country and also seeing it through the eyes 👁 of others. I was in the UAE when our current head of state was elected and I sat in disbelief 😳 as others cried or shared their own bewilderment 🤯 at what the American public had decided.

At the time, I understood how it happened. I even had some sympathy for why it happened. However, after four years of watching, listening, and having dialog with fellow countrywo/men and non, I am disappointed by the state of affairs 😣 and how the Elections of 2020 have shaped up as I observe from abroad along with the rest of the world as my nation continues to fight amongst themselves. 🥺

It has been with a deep sadness 😥 and utter disbelief 🤬 with the lack of decency and humanity that we watch what is being acted out in America. Yet, what is to be expected when the leader of our country constantly encourages rhetoric that stems from selfishness and ignorance? 😡 It doesn’t matter anymore how he was allowed to be in such a position, but it does matter how we move forward. 😏

I learned when I was young that it’s not necessarily in how we behave when we win that shows our character, but it is in how we lose.

I’m not saying that Democrats or liberals would necessarily have behaved any better than the prez or those of his party are now, which is my point.

When, why, how did we lose touch with our humanity? At what point did the rhetoric push us to accept that tolerance, meaningful and open dialog, and the gentlemanly way of agreeing to disagree were no longer part of the etiquette that allows us to live together in peace? 🙏🏽

Now, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t be angry about racism, violence, discrimination, and all the other soap box topics. I’ve got plenty of my own to stand on and shout out about. 💪🏽 What I am saying, though, is that there has to be a humane way of expressing and addressing these issues that don’t lead to peaceful protests turning into violent 🤕 activity causing everyone to forget what the main point was in the first place. Or, there has to be a way that people don’t feel the need to use guns or force to feel safe in their own homes and personal spaces. Or, there has to be a way to speak without screaming and gnashing of teeth. 😬🤔

The reason I did not vote for Trump is not just because of the issues, as there are many things he has done for the country that I would happily consider as positives in terms of the economy.

The reason I did not vote for him is because he is NOT a decent human being and should NOT be the face or human that represents the nation that I love. If I had any sense that there were redeeming qualities about him or that he showed an inkling of humility in his speeches, then I may have considered voting another way.

No one is perfect. No one is the ideal human being. 😇 I have no illusions that previous presidents were faultless, especially with their politics. However, this is what makes them human. The ones that have been loved for their service are those who showed qualities of being human – compassion, empathy, humility, and grace. These are the qualities of leaders that inspire and make others aspire to be like them.

I truly hope that no one ever says to me that they want to be like Trump. I think that says it all.

~T 😀

2020: Pausing to Breathe

Going Mental 1 Response »

Sep 072020

It is becoming popular to say “2020” sucks because of COVID-19. It is becoming acceptable to complain and then blame it on the year that so many claim has not happened nor looks like it will before 2021 arrives.

I am curious to know if there is a common introverted vs extroverted response to the evolution of this year, or if optimists react differently than pessimists.

As a realist, here is my take.

The abnormality of this year has been like hitting the pause button on a movie. As someone who actually gets overwhelmed by all the motion and noise of the world, this pause has been like going figuratively out into the woods to take a long deep breath of fresh, clean, pure air.

So, when I hear all the moaning of the noisy minority I think I feel a kind of personal affront to who I am because to be perfectly honest, this has been an amazing year for me. I will be remember 2020 as the year that the world stopped long enough for some of us to take a long deep breath.

In a way, we have seen a division in personalities.

There are those who have told me that all the negative realities of the world are overwhelming them mentally and physically that they are struggling to face the days. There are those who have told me that they feel trapped by the lack of travel or free movement. There are those who have told me that they are bored with their lives because they cannot “do” anything.

My response to those who are overwhelmed by the negative realities because they tend to spend the majority of their time on social media or watching mass media feeding their brains with all the negativity: turn off the noise!

My response to those who are feel trapped: exercise, plan an amazing trip for next time and save up all the money you can now so that when the freedom is returned you don’t look back and wonder why you didn’t prepare for travel and moving again. Be proactive and prepare!

My response to those who are bored: get over yourself and DO something for others. So many restaurants, organizations, programs are struggling. Look them up and offer to DO something or donate if you’re one of the lucky few who has the income to do so. There are a million things to DO in a day that there is really no excuse for this statement.

Now, before my reader says, but: Do you follow your own responses? I preemptively respond with a YEP. And, though it may mean I have to toot my own horn, here is what I have been doing that addresses these perspectives.

1. I have screen time set to turn off every day from 7pm to 5am and it’s off all day on Sundays with the exception of one or two apps that I might use or that I use with my family in case something comes up. I also look at social media twice a day for a max of about 30 minutes or I look for the sole purpose of the magazine to get more followers or contributors. None of it is allowed to be processed too deeply on a regular basis. I do not watch or read the news, so most information comes via word of mouth or an occasional headline that I might see.

2. I admit that this is a little unfair in that we are preparing to move countries and so I have this to look forward to sooner than most. However, as someone who is used to traveling every few months, it has been a challenge. Instead, I have focused on building up our savings account and ensuring that we have a fund to splurge out – plus that fund is allowing us to not stress over the big move.

3. Aside from starting the magazine, I have donated to a homeless organization, used smile.amazon.com to support a ‘charity’ organization every time we purchase something online, bought from local venues, sent random gifts to others, made gifts for others, and more. So, despite not being an overly charitable person, I have made an effort to push myself to be more generous.

I’m not trying to sound arrogant, but I am trying to say that I am no one special and there are numerous times in my life when I could have said that I prefer the path of darkness, self-pity, anger, bitterness, and wallow in the murky waters. I could have found a number of people to support that way of thinking and to tell me that I deserve to feel that way. However, as Robert Frost wrote: I chose the road less traveled by.

To me, it’s the easy and lazy way to go with the belief that life sucks. It’s simple-minded to say 2020 is the worst year ever or to blame a year – which has no personified qualities whatsoever. Instead, it takes character, integrity and strength to find a path forward that inspires and leads to the best version of who I can be. I want to look in the mirror every day and be satisfied with the person looking back at me instead of dodging the mirror altogether or playing a negative tune at the reflection.

We all have the ability to be and do more. Just do it – one step at a time.

Whole and Capable

Going Mental 1 Response »

Jun 222020

One of the tenants of the life coaching principles that I learned was that we have to hold people as whole and capable.

Based on the belief that all individuals are whole, capable individuals, coaching assumes the client is expert, able to determine what is best for their lives and the coach works along with them to maximize their personal and professional potentials, to close the gaps to create extraordinary lives.
~What is coaching?

If we apply this belief to every person, then it negates the need to nag at them or worry about follow-through. The more that we hold people in this way, the more trust we build with one another. When we trust one another, we can communicate openly and honestly. This way of communicating leads to the development of agape love.

I have been listening to _Radical Dharma_ and finding that there is much to learn in our interactions with others.

This basis of agape in our sense of humanity and community is missing in our society. The lack of it can fully explain why society is in the state that it is in.

How many parents these days fit the concept of ‘helicopter parenting’? How many women complain about the men in their lives not doing this or that, but readily admit that they have never actually asked them to do what is desired? How many partners expect their partners to have a Vulcan mind-meld with them to read all expectations, but are disappointed when the readings are not accurate or even attempted? How many kids feel that their parents do not understand them because they don’t feel listened to or that they can openly communicate?

Everything stems from an ability to communicate – without judgement, without repercussions, etc.

Imagine what the world would be like, or better yet, one’s own relationships and life would be like, if we all felt as if we could trust each other to be open and honest with one another without the fear of anger or negativity. With this built up of trust, we can have agape.

Some might call me an idealist, but those who really know me understand I’m actually a realist. It is realistic to me that mankind can achieve greatness in unity. It is realistic to me that human beings can have conversations that lead to a deeper understanding of each other. It is realistic to me that we can hold each other as whole and capable to build such trust.

The realist in me finds great disappointment in the fact that our society cannot seem to accept the basic fact that all we really have to do is talk to each other with open minds and hearts….

But, since I fully believe in the power of the individual creating a mass movement – after all, we have seen it in action – let’s just start with one person at a time. Who have you not been holding whole and capable that you could start doing so now?

~T 😀

Keeping Up with Normal

Going Mental No Responses »

May 152020

This week, I decided to create a new “Quarantine Schedule” to try to get myself ready for the eventual return to regularly scheduled activities.

Since I have gotten used to having time at home everyday, I decided it was time to start behaving as if I were going to an office – just minus the commute. Also, I have allowed some flexibility with how I spend my time during the day just as I would even if I were in the office. I mean, I am always multitasking; it’s just what I do. 😉

To be honest, though, I am not eager to go back to the old normal. I am also unsure what the new normal will look like. A part of me is keen to be able to redefine my full-time work, which was starting to happen before ‘pandemic’ life took over. However, a bigger part of me is just content to let life continue as is – work from home all the time….

Having this time to reflect on what I would like life to be has been good. Something that I have become even more aware of than before is that all things are temporary.

In returning to a mindfulness meditation practice, I have been able to re-focus on the fact that our society, language, lives, environments, and circumstances are always in motion.

However, ironically, the one thing that seems to stay the same are people. You know that saying that a Zebra can’t change its stripes? On some level, I wholeheartedly disagree with this as people can change if they really want to. It takes work, reflective activity, and persistence, but it is humanly possible. Unfortunately, most people give up with the pathetic excuse that they ‘can’t’ change. Really, they should say they ‘won’t’ change.

These days, it is normal to say things like “I am who I am” or “I have to learn to love myself for who I am”. While the general sentiment behind these statements are true when we play negative recordings on repeat to self-sabotage, it does not excuse us from trying to be better human beings.

One thing that has contributed to my break from social media are the posts that suggest people should “forgive themselves” for not doing anything during these anxious times. It’s true that if your body and mind are feeling stressed and anxious that we should focus on keeping ourselves healthy. However, this should not be used as an excuse to be complacent or stagnant in life.

There is never a day or time that I can honestly say that I’m bored or that I have nothing to do. There are so many books in the world to read. There are thousands of online courses for free to take and learn something new. There are millions of YouTube videos to watch that teach us how to do things. There are gazillions of recipes to try. There are stories to write. There are miles to walk. There are billions of people to help. There is ALWAYS something to do. It is by this belief that I live my life.

In doing so, it’s hard to keep up with all there is out there to be done. Shouldn’t this be the new normal?

~T 😀

“Well, I tried…”

Going Mental No Responses »

Aug 122019

While waiting at the airport with my mother due to our seven-hour delay to get to Mongolia 🇲🇳, I did a lot of people watching. I am always fascinated by behavior whether as a social norm or an individual. Often, I find myself imagining what people are thinking or the background behind their actions. 💡

As we were sitting on lounge chairs to pass the time, people came and went to rest before boarding their flights.

Some people dropped their stuff on multiple chairs to lay claim to them while freely coming and going. Some people rested for a few moments and then jumped up to carry on with their business. 🧳 Still others sat down, like we did, pulling out devices 📱and settling in for a long wait.

The seats next to me were generally occupied by a brother and sister 👫, who were like any other kids these days, playing on their devices. Over the period of a couple of hours, they had spread out their things with a sweatshirt hanging on the back of a chair, bags all around, and they were in for the wait.

Finally, the time 🕰 to board their plane 🛫 came and they quickly gathered up their things to stand in line, leaving behind the sweatshirt.

Typical of the lounge seats, they are rarely ever unoccupied for long and soon enough a mother and young daughter swooped in to have their turn in the coveted seats. The mother noticed the sweatshirt hanging off the chair and yelled out to the girl who had just been occupying it. However, the girl was busy putting her things into her backpack 🎒 and no one else was paying attention; so the shout out went unheeded. 🙉

I wondered what the mother would do next while her daughter looked at her with a seemingly similar question. 👩‍👧

The mother simply shrugged her shoulders and said, “Well, I tried.” To which, her daughter accepted and they carried on. 💁🏽‍♀️

I almost laughed out loud. 🤦🏽‍♀️ Was that a reasonable claim to “trying”? 🤔

Only a couple of minutes later, the mother and daughter got up to stand in the same line as the girl who had left the sweatshirt behind. The sweatshirt remained.

Clearly, the mother’s trying was complete and forgotten.

In the meantime, I found myself debating on my own action. In my disbelief with the mother’s claim to have tried, I ran through my own mind 🤯: What is my version of trying? Should I get involved? What if the sweatshirt was actually important to the girl? What if it was the only sweatshirt she had? What if her dead grandmother had given it to her as the last gift she had received from grandma? (Like I said, I can create all kinds of scenarios and drama in my head!🤷🏽‍♀️)

Seeing the girl up ahead in the line, I processed these questions in the 30 seconds or so that they passed through my mind 🧐 and grabbed the sweatshirt. I needed to stretch my legs anyway. I walked straight up the line, asked the girl if the sweatshirt was hers – to which she acknowledged it was -, smiled as she thanked me and went for my walk. 👍🏽

It was a small act and took very little extra effort of “trying” than shouting out to deaf ears and giving up.

What affected me and still lingers in my mind is the human capacity of lying to ourselves on what it means to “try” without any deep consideration of the results in the action.

To me, one of the main reasons that people are unhappy is a lack of empathy and compassion for others or our possessions. That mother had no concern for the left behind object, nor what it might mean to the person who left it behind.

In our privileged world, we tend to take everything for granted. We lose a sweatshirt, we’ll buy another one. We forget a birthday, there’ll be another one. We haven’t talked to a friend in weeks, they’ll still be there.

Yet, what if that sweatshirt can’t be replaced financially, sentimentally? 😢 A little bit more effort could prevent an emotional disturbance. 🤩

What if there isn’t another birthday for that person? 😥 A simple message to acknowledge their life could make a difference in the final days. 🥰

What if your friend isn’t there next week? 😭 A quick “Hey, thinking of you.” could reconnect you and perhaps be just what was needed for both you and your friend. 😇

Everyday, we make choices. We love to claim that we don’t have time to do this or that choosing to connect with our phones or TV rather than “trying” to participate in the building of humanity. 😔

Rather than express our annoyances or joys with one another, we bury our heads into our devices, or tell ourselves that either we or they are unimportant. Thus, we don’t really ever “try”. 🤐

The mother and daughter in the story sadden me 🥺 because the daughter learned from her mother that both objects and people are only worth a minimal amount of ‘trying’ and any conscience-ness can be shrugged away with “Well, I tried”.

As a humanist, I believe we can do better and that we have a responsibility to “try harder”. 💪🏽

~T 😀

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