2020: Pausing to Breathe

 Going Mental  1 Response »
Sep 072020
 

It is becoming popular to say “2020” sucks because of COVID-19. It is becoming acceptable to complain and then blame it on the year that so many claim has not happened nor looks like it will before 2021 arrives.

I am curious to know if there is a common introverted vs extroverted response to the evolution of this year, or if optimists react differently than pessimists.

As a realist, here is my take.

The abnormality of this year has been like hitting the pause button on a movie. As someone who actually gets overwhelmed by all the motion and noise of the world, this pause has been like going figuratively out into the woods to take a long deep breath of fresh, clean, pure air.

So, when I hear all the moaning of the noisy minority I think I feel a kind of personal affront to who I am because to be perfectly honest, this has been an amazing year for me. I will be remember 2020 as the year that the world stopped long enough for some of us to take a long deep breath.

In a way, we have seen a division in personalities.

There are those who have told me that all the negative realities of the world are overwhelming them mentally and physically that they are struggling to face the days. There are those who have told me that they feel trapped by the lack of travel or free movement. There are those who have told me that they are bored with their lives because they cannot “do” anything.

My response to those who are overwhelmed by the negative realities because they tend to spend the majority of their time on social media or watching mass media feeding their brains with all the negativity: turn off the noise!

My response to those who are feel trapped: exercise, plan an amazing trip for next time and save up all the money you can now so that when the freedom is returned you don’t look back and wonder why you didn’t prepare for travel and moving again. Be proactive and prepare!

My response to those who are bored: get over yourself and DO something for others. So many restaurants, organizations, programs are struggling. Look them up and offer to DO something or donate if you’re one of the lucky few who has the income to do so. There are a million things to DO in a day that there is really no excuse for this statement.

Now, before my reader says, but: Do you follow your own responses? I preemptively respond with a YEP. And, though it may mean I have to toot my own horn, here is what I have been doing that addresses these perspectives.

1. I have screen time set to turn off every day from 7pm to 5am and it’s off all day on Sundays with the exception of one or two apps that I might use or that I use with my family in case something comes up. I also look at social media twice a day for a max of about 30 minutes or I look for the sole purpose of the magazine to get more followers or contributors. None of it is allowed to be processed too deeply on a regular basis. I do not watch or read the news, so most information comes via word of mouth or an occasional headline that I might see.

2. I admit that this is a little unfair in that we are preparing to move countries and so I have this to look forward to sooner than most. However, as someone who is used to traveling every few months, it has been a challenge. Instead, I have focused on building up our savings account and ensuring that we have a fund to splurge out – plus that fund is allowing us to not stress over the big move.

3. Aside from starting the magazine, I have donated to a homeless organization, used smile.amazon.com to support a ‘charity’ organization every time we purchase something online, bought from local venues, sent random gifts to others, made gifts for others, and more. So, despite not being an overly charitable person, I have made an effort to push myself to be more generous.

I’m not trying to sound arrogant, but I am trying to say that I am no one special and there are numerous times in my life when I could have said that I prefer the path of darkness, self-pity, anger, bitterness, and wallow in the murky waters. I could have found a number of people to support that way of thinking and to tell me that I deserve to feel that way. However, as Robert Frost wrote: I chose the road less traveled by.

To me, it’s the easy and lazy way to go with the belief that life sucks. It’s simple-minded to say 2020 is the worst year ever or to blame a year – which has no personified qualities whatsoever. Instead, it takes character, integrity and strength to find a path forward that inspires and leads to the best version of who I can be. I want to look in the mirror every day and be satisfied with the person looking back at me instead of dodging the mirror altogether or playing a negative tune at the reflection.

We all have the ability to be and do more. Just do it – one step at a time.

Limbs of Negativity

 Going Mental  No Responses »
Oct 122018
 

I am not a fan of the underwater. While others seem to have a fascination of life below the land surface, I do not. In fact, I have a great fear of drowning from an attack by the creatures below.

The worst types of water creatures for me are those with snake-like features – especially the Octopus. Although my fear may be irrationally based on images from pop culture, I imagine one swipe of the suction-cup side of a limb will poison me to death as it carries me down into the dark depths of the ocean drowning out my existence. (Dramatic?!) Therefore, I try to avoid situations that might give any such kind of creature an opportunity to darken my world.

Negativity receives a similar response.

I firmly believe people have auras that surround them. Some people see it in color. Some see it in shades from light to dark. Some see it as balls of energy. Or, any combination of readings. (Some may not see them at all ;))

For me, I see shades from light to dark with aspects of energy sparks. Those who carry around dark shades with high sparks of energy are the octopuses of the land-walkers. Not only will their limbs of negativity poison you, their suckers consume the energies of light others carry around. The seeming cliche imagery of dark clouds covering sunlight is not for nothing.

This is not to say that I am always a ray of sunshine to mine or others’ lives. However, I do try my best (perhaps my husband would disagree 😛 ) to stay upbeat and positive.

So, when we are individually struggling with our own balance and maintenance to stay in the light, it is all the more frustrating and irritating to have to deal with the dark limbs of others’ negativity. 

An online search on how to deal with colleagues or others who fit this description provides results with advice that are obvious and yet nearly impossible:  avoid them, tell them, listen with compassion as much as you can, put yourself in their shoes, blah blah blah.

I recently went to a talk called Sacred Self-Care. One of the points the speaker, Nirmal Raj Gyawali pointed out was that we have a finite amount of energy throughout a limited amount of time (our lives). Therefore, why spend energy and time on the things that do us no good? In yoga speak, we say ‘those things which do not serve us’. 

With this in mind, then, rather than just forcing myself to have compassion (which is still needed) or enduring the poisonous sparks of negative energy that threaten to put out the light I try to shine, I feel as if I should just walk away. 

In today’s world and real-life situations, that means putting on my headphones in the office to tune out those who are spewing out dark flames or, at times, it might even mean taking some ‘mental health’ days to stay at home to recoup and store up energy to keep the light shining not only within myself, but hopefully for others in my life as well.

Still, there are days (like today) where the negative poison enters my veins. Without an outlet like posting here, I am sure that the dark clouds would smother the positive light.

Thankfully, I think I have managed to fight off the threatening limbs of negativity as the weekend is about to begin. 😀

~T 😀

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