Home after about 26 hours of travel door to door. No complaints here – it was just a long day.
It’s good to be home with the animals and our things. Now, it’s all about catching up on laundry, reorganizing after having house/petsitters, and settling back into the routine.
Anyway, got some things brewing that I will attempt to organize into comprehensible words and thoughts once I have a couple more days to catch up on things.
With that – until next time!
~T π₯πβοΈ
It’s already October, y’all! I feel as if this year has flown by, but I have to say that I am really looking forward to this month. Why?
Well, because we have plans to stay put for most of the month! We just got back from our separate travels this afternoon after a long drive back together from France. M decided to fly in to Nice so we could come back together, which was nice and not nice-but that’s another story.
Anyway, I’ve now unpacked and settled back into my office as I begin to think about all that needs to be done this week and over the next few weeks. Aside from me having a girls’ trip at the end of the month (I know, but it is at the END of the month, so technically we are here most of the month! π¬), we are getting our new kitchen installed mid-month, and want to enjoy the lingering warmer temps as much as possible. Sure, we are going to be in warmer environs most of December, but hey we can still appreciate it whilst at home.
So, here’s to “normal” days and sleeping in my own bed with a return to “routine”! βοΈ
~T π₯πβοΈ
It’s the middle of the night.
Despite going to bed at my usual time around 9 pm, and shortly falling asleep well before 10 to settle in for my evening slumber, I awoke briefly around 10:30 upon hearing my husband on the phone.
It’s not uncommon these days for him to stay up a bit later, or to rise early, for a phone call as his work connects him with people on various time zones.
However, nearly an hour later, the bed was still empty. So, I called him to bed in hopes of being able to nestle in for my desired sleep….
Yet, here I am at nearly 1:30 am, while my husband snores away, after attempting for the past two hours to lull myself to sleep through social media surfing and reading, taking in the quiet of the dark night.
Lately, I have been craving silence, and to some extent solitude. The 10-day silent meditation retreat I keep on my ‘to do eventually’ list is becoming less fearful as a daunting experience, and more attractive as a salve to a self-inflicted wound.
There is little to nothing to complain about where we are. I mean, how can one be truly discontent surrounded by vineyards in “mostly” sunny southern France?
It’s not a matter of contentment, but more of a need for nourishment like the soil craving the rainfall after a drought. As an introvert, being constantly bombarded with sound and another’s presence – even when it is the one I dearly love – is draining and overwhelming. Add on to that the daily activities of work and building a media platform.
I need peace and quiet. I need calm and tranquility. I need stability and sanity. I need to recharge, refresh, and replenish my internal fuel cells – alone.
All of these needs are hard to meet in a small, barely two-bedroom cottage where the stone walls are paper thin when a daily bundle of energy storms around filling the air and space until it is almost suffocating that the only escape is often, to escape.
Sometimes it feels like there is not enough air to breathe for two when it is supposed to be shared. Lately, I feel a bit as if I am gasping and grasping into an unknown dark abyss and just barely floating through based solely on trust and faith.
Like all things, this too shall pass. Like all things, the dark of night exacerbates the speckled holes of a sunlit life. Like all things, there is a silver lining.
Perhaps, I should embrace the quiet of the night and make the most of the wee hours to myself. If I cannot find my peace and calm during the day, maybe I can change my own pattern and expectations – until something else presents itself as another option. Maybe, my body and mind are telling me something and I shouldn’t fight the opportunity that is before me….
And, possibly, I should look into that retreat…. π
~T π
It may sound weak and pathetic, but just over two weeks after returning from winter holidays, I am just finally starting to feel like myself again.
It seems that my tolerance for being busy, social, and the like has greatly decreased so that it is taking me longer to recoup. For the past couple of weeks, I have been having to force myself into the real world again.
My introverted voice reminds me that it is just that my batteries π ran on low π§ββοΈ for too long so it is now requiring a bit more time to get them charged back up to full πΈπ½. On a normal week or schedule they never run much lower than 50%, so it’s merely a matter of using my working from home days to return to full capacity.
Unfortunately, last week required me to teach π©π½βπ« three consecutive full eight hour days with only a short lunch break to refresh. So, the weekend was not quite enough to get me back on track.
Another major and important factor is my gym πͺπ½ time. While many may have other outlets to charge themselves up, I find that spending time at the gym lifting weights ππ½ββοΈ, doing yoga π§π½ββοΈ, and working on my C25K programππ½ββοΈis as effective as being at home on my own. The added benefit is that I feel physically healthy as well. So, this week, I have been able to return to my regular gym visits. ππ½
By the end of the week, I imagine that January will have sorted itself out for me – just in time for the second month of the year to start already! π€¦π½ββοΈ
~T π
So, it’s been a few days since my last post. It was intentional to be honest.
When someone posts all the time or when something becomes too available, the tendency is for complacency and over saturation to occur. Therefore, as I consider how to build readership, but also make sure I have enough content, I decided to give it a few days.
It also helped that I have been a bit busy with work and trying not to lose my mind as I PMS (TMI? Sorry, not sorry π ).
In any case, my habits and schedules are always developing as I attempt to find balance in having a healthy mind, body and soul while also considering the realities of life outside of myself. π
Therefore, I have decided to post two to three times a week depending on my schedule. That way, regular followers (now that I know you are out there!) can know when I will write, but not get overwhelmed (hopefully), by trying to keep up since it seems to be a natural part of our psyches to feel as if we have to always stay on top of something.
In the meantime, I am hoping to actually make some progress at getting my story-writing going and posting chapters on The Universal Asian site. It needs a bit of attention, so I’m not giving you the link just yet. When it is ready, you’ll be among the first to know!
With that said, I’ll end here for today. More to come!
~T π
Every time I see or hear the phrase in this post’s title, I think of Star Wars “Return of the Jedi”. Yes, I am a Star Wars geek, I admit it!!! ππ½π€
Anyway, following up on my post yesterday, I thought I would write a bit more about how I am going to work on keeping myself structured for reals. π
I know I have written a number of posts on my need for scheduling or routines or having structure. I know I have mentioned how this is a reoccuring theme in my life and you may even be thinking to yourself, “Seriously, how many posts can this girl get out of the same topic?! Get organized already!!!”π
If you are thinking that way, I apologize. I am a bit slow these days with sorting my sh*t out. Or rather, I have not determined that I am ready to put action into my words falling into the preference for complaining rather than actually doing. Yes, even I fall into this trap! I say, even, because I know that I tend to give this advice to others with the seemingly outward appearance of also following through myself. While the majority of the time I try very hard to do so, I admit (again) that I am very fallible in this area and am extremely weak when it comes to pleasing others or trying to guess what pleases others especially my husband.
Now, I am by no means blaming him for my lack of discipline and effort. I am the only one responsible for my activities at the end of the day. However, I also acknowledge the influence of others upon me especially the one I love and spend most of my time with each day.π
Still, it goes back to that saying “If I am not happy, then how can I work to make others happy?”. Is that a saying or am I making it up? π€ Anyway, you get the gist.
When M is on a regular work schedule, I can usually maintain my own and shuffle him out of the house by 8am so that I can start my day. However, even that usually results in me not doing my workout, yoga or meditation before he leaves even though it is the best time for me to do it. It also leaves me feeling as if I have wasted a couple of hours as part of my prime productivity period of the morning, which then results in antsy-ness (is this a word?!) for him to go out the door. π«
Sooooo….I am proposing to work on my own routine and schedule regardless of whether or not he works or when he wants to get up. I shall also share this with him so that he does not try to make me feel guilty about needing to get up right away or wanting to start my day, which he is wont to do at times. π Also, perhaps then he will become my cheerleader or better yet also get his own routine to match mine even on his ‘off’ days as we know he needs to try to control his own chaos. π
In doing this and following through, I believe that some of my new goals that I am processing will be much easier to achieve. I also believe that I will be back on the path of fighting off the dark-side of the force using my Jedi tricks. π So, consider this plan of action as moving into play immediately! ππ½ππ½
~T π
