Step One – Awareness

 Going Mental  No Responses »
Jul 052024
 

I’m back on a routine and feeling both happily productive yet somewhat lackluster in my sense of accomplishment each day. It’s not like I don’t have plenty to do or to keep me busy. Still, sometimes it does feel as if it is just busy work that I am doing to pass the time.

Of course, it is meaningful to keep a clean house, do laundry, and such. I don’t really do anything outdoors these days as it is hot 🥵 and the mozzies 🦟 are out, but the mornings are nice for enjoying a cup of coffee. Yet, I haven’t even been doing that until this morning when M asked what I was doing after I had come directly to my dark, cool office to sit at the computer to get work done. It really didn’t occur to me to go outside for a bit.

So, perhaps I’m vitamin D deficient, and it is affecting my mood. I will try to work on that and go outside a bit more now that I’m aware.

Equally, I need to return to prioritizing writing. I’ve allowed myself to get out of the habit of journaling every single day. Partially because my journal is crammed with cards and papers that it is hard to write on one side of it, but really I just allow it to be an excuse to not write. When I don’t write, it’s like being constipated. The build up becomes too much. I need an outlet for my thoughts and inner emotions since I’m not an outwardly emotional person.

Furthermore, since deciding to publish a poetry book, I have come to a full realization that I have always been a poet. From the time I started writing journals at eight-years-old, I also started writing poems. My first coloring, writing books were filled with my naive poems. Poems have always been a constant along with my journals. Because I can often scribble out a poem quickly, I forget that it is a craft, an art, a creativity that needs an outlet.

Then, there is the craft of writing a story. My fiction novel has been pushed aside again in my mind and priorities. Perhaps, I am afraid of the need to dig into my memories and feelings to write some parts. Perhaps, I am afraid it really isn’t that good. Perhaps, I am just afraid. I need to ponder and see what my mental obstacle might be on it. In the meantime, I have a new idea to work on some short stories along with my poetry.

The fact is that as long as I’m writing and producing something regularly, I’m happier than when I just manage to get tick off the items on my todo list. More than likely, my sense of accomplishment and contentment is when I have written something meaningful (to me, at least) in a day. So, why am I not ensuring I do this every day? 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

I have no acceptable answer. 🤪

They say awareness is the first step. So, step one ✔️! Now, to do something about it. I shall ponder today on what that looks like and revert back on Monday. Stay tuned!

Have a great weekend y’all!

~ T 🔥🐉♋️

Reflections: Into 2023 We Go

 Going Mental  1 Response »
Dec 232022
 

I wrote this as a draft for another article I was going to submit, but realized it was a bit too personal to share on a non-affiliated space. 🤷🏽‍♀️ There is some repeat from an earlier post last week, but in any case, I thought I’d put it here for record-keeping and, well, this IS an affiliated space for my personal musings. 😝 Also, as this is the sum of my reflections for my regular new year’s planning as I’ll take a wee break from writing for a week or so, consider it my 2023 resolutions post. ❤️

To be perfectly honest, my reflective behavior is usually focused on myself and only myself. 😜 Although this might sound enviable (or extremely self-centered) to many who struggle to embrace self-care, self-awareness, positive self-talk, etc., it really isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.

For me, my introspective nature is an attempt to better myself as a member of society, a participant in my community of friends, a wife to my husband, a daughter to my parents, a sister to my brother, a writer to my unknown readers, and a representative to my fellow humans. In this attempt at self-improvement, as defined by the transcendentalists of 19th century America, comes a sense of exhaustion – quite the opposite to the goal our 21st century idea of “self -” promotes. 

So, as I reflect on the past year or so with the return of an adjusted-way-of-life post-COVID19, I am setting new goals for the next year – to be more SELFish. WHAT?! (a collective gasp might be heard).

I know – controversial, right? 

Let me clarify from the start, I will never be selfish to the point that it hurts another individual or at the expense of another human being (or animal, for that matter). It is not in my nature to be intentionally harmful to others; thus, it would not actually be selfish for me to behave in such a manner. Rather, what I mean is that my actions and activities this year are going to be focused on what benefits me as a person. Instead of reflecting on how my actions, thoughts, or words might be perceived or affected by others, I am going to consider how they affect me first and foremost.

An example of how this will play out is in my writing. For years, I have been writing for my own private audience of one – me! Although I do have public spaces like social media or a blog (or two or three), I do not advertise them outside of a subtle link on a profile page. In general, I prefer to work quietly from behind the scenes such as on The Universal Asian or my Medium page. However, this year, I will be focusing on building up my own space as OSH, where I’ll be sharing my own writing, services for Book Coaching and Editing, plus a subscription-based newsletter called OSH’s Letters where I will write to subscribers and share my worldview on the day-to-day experiences discovered on my journey through living on this planet. Much of the latter is still in the works, but do feel free to check the spaces often or go ahead and subscribe on the form provided to stay updated. See how my selfish act(s) work here – a shameless plug for my site(s), but no harm done, right?!

Other ways that this selfishness will play out for me is going to be in spending more time doing yoga and meditating regularly. Although this falls into a ‘self-care’ category, I also treat it as a self-ish time out for only me. It may be at the expense of others in terms of my available time to them, but rather than seeing it as harmful, I consider it helpful that there will be boundaries and by me taking this time for myself, I can be more present and purposeful when I do give others my time.

Also, I’m taking a page out of Tim Ferriss’s Four-Hour Workweek:  Life is now and I can live the lifestyle of a millionaire without having to actually be one – though I wouldn’t complain if that happened! Basically, after a summer as a revolving door of visitors to our new home in Italy, I am closing our open-door policy so that we can have time to travel ourselves. Although I fully enjoyed our visits, it was draining and we did not get to do our own exploring of places. Therefore, doors will still be open, just on a more structured timeline.

So, you see, it’s not that self is to be hyphenated this year, but rather it just is itSELF.

Here’s to an amazing year to the SELF. 

~T 🔥🐉♋️

2020: Pausing to Breathe

 Going Mental  1 Response »
Sep 072020
 

It is becoming popular to say “2020” sucks because of COVID-19. It is becoming acceptable to complain and then blame it on the year that so many claim has not happened nor looks like it will before 2021 arrives.

I am curious to know if there is a common introverted vs extroverted response to the evolution of this year, or if optimists react differently than pessimists.

As a realist, here is my take.

The abnormality of this year has been like hitting the pause button on a movie. As someone who actually gets overwhelmed by all the motion and noise of the world, this pause has been like going figuratively out into the woods to take a long deep breath of fresh, clean, pure air.

So, when I hear all the moaning of the noisy minority I think I feel a kind of personal affront to who I am because to be perfectly honest, this has been an amazing year for me. I will be remember 2020 as the year that the world stopped long enough for some of us to take a long deep breath.

In a way, we have seen a division in personalities.

There are those who have told me that all the negative realities of the world are overwhelming them mentally and physically that they are struggling to face the days. There are those who have told me that they feel trapped by the lack of travel or free movement. There are those who have told me that they are bored with their lives because they cannot “do” anything.

My response to those who are overwhelmed by the negative realities because they tend to spend the majority of their time on social media or watching mass media feeding their brains with all the negativity: turn off the noise!

My response to those who are feel trapped: exercise, plan an amazing trip for next time and save up all the money you can now so that when the freedom is returned you don’t look back and wonder why you didn’t prepare for travel and moving again. Be proactive and prepare!

My response to those who are bored: get over yourself and DO something for others. So many restaurants, organizations, programs are struggling. Look them up and offer to DO something or donate if you’re one of the lucky few who has the income to do so. There are a million things to DO in a day that there is really no excuse for this statement.

Now, before my reader says, but: Do you follow your own responses? I preemptively respond with a YEP. And, though it may mean I have to toot my own horn, here is what I have been doing that addresses these perspectives.

1. I have screen time set to turn off every day from 7pm to 5am and it’s off all day on Sundays with the exception of one or two apps that I might use or that I use with my family in case something comes up. I also look at social media twice a day for a max of about 30 minutes or I look for the sole purpose of the magazine to get more followers or contributors. None of it is allowed to be processed too deeply on a regular basis. I do not watch or read the news, so most information comes via word of mouth or an occasional headline that I might see.

2. I admit that this is a little unfair in that we are preparing to move countries and so I have this to look forward to sooner than most. However, as someone who is used to traveling every few months, it has been a challenge. Instead, I have focused on building up our savings account and ensuring that we have a fund to splurge out – plus that fund is allowing us to not stress over the big move.

3. Aside from starting the magazine, I have donated to a homeless organization, used smile.amazon.com to support a ‘charity’ organization every time we purchase something online, bought from local venues, sent random gifts to others, made gifts for others, and more. So, despite not being an overly charitable person, I have made an effort to push myself to be more generous.

I’m not trying to sound arrogant, but I am trying to say that I am no one special and there are numerous times in my life when I could have said that I prefer the path of darkness, self-pity, anger, bitterness, and wallow in the murky waters. I could have found a number of people to support that way of thinking and to tell me that I deserve to feel that way. However, as Robert Frost wrote: I chose the road less traveled by.

To me, it’s the easy and lazy way to go with the belief that life sucks. It’s simple-minded to say 2020 is the worst year ever or to blame a year – which has no personified qualities whatsoever. Instead, it takes character, integrity and strength to find a path forward that inspires and leads to the best version of who I can be. I want to look in the mirror every day and be satisfied with the person looking back at me instead of dodging the mirror altogether or playing a negative tune at the reflection.

We all have the ability to be and do more. Just do it – one step at a time.

_The Power of Habit_ by Charles Duhigg

 Literary Escapes  No Responses »
Jan 242017
 

_The Power of Habit_ by Charles Duhigg 

I believe I started this book some time ago and then got distracted from it due to Book Club, life etc. My completion rate of books seems fairly dependent on either my holidays or time on the treadmill. 🤣

Since I have had no holidays for over a year ☹️, it is my habit of heading to the gym that is getting me back on the reading track again. 

As I do enjoy self-awareness helping books that also include a bit of psychology, I enjoyed this book quite a bit. 

The human brain is something magnificent really and the ability to understand even a tiny fraction of it is so cool. Our habits are formed by our actions and positive or negative response stimulation of those actions. What we need to be aware of are the triggers that create the action and why we desire the response stimulation. When we become aware of these then we can foster the habits that are beneficial to us or break up habits that are not. 

Being someone who needs habits and structures to get by each day this is definitely something relevant and useful to know about. I feel as if I can say that most of my habits are productive and positive because my response stimulation is a sense of calm and peace which I must have to get through life these days. 

Also I do know that through mindfulness and meditation I have greatly controlled and changed my negative responses. When I was younger and less aware, I had much less control over what I said or behaved. Now, I try to choose what will be meaningful rather than hurtful to me or others. 

If you have habits that you’d like to change or are not sure of habits you might want to change, then I highly giving this a read!

~T 😀

_You Can Heal Your Life_ by Louise Hay

 Literary Escapes  No Responses »
May 312016
 

LouiseHaybook

_You Can Heal Your Life_ by Louise Hay

I was introduced to this author via the title _You can Heal Your Body_ through some ladies at yoga. When I went to the bookstore to have a look, I found that this one was more along the lines of what I felt like reading. The other one may get read as well, but I think that this one was definitely exactly what I needed to read.

Louise Hay shares her belief in how to change our thought patterns so that we are open to abundance and success. Along the same lines as _The Secret_ or law of attraction ideas, her belief is that when we allow our minds to say negative thoughts, even if they seem trivial, we are attracting what we actually do NOT want. Our minds do not necessarily interpret a thought as negative or positive, it just interprets what most often makes a presence. Therefore, if we focus on positive thoughts, then we attract more of that.

I learned quite a few good tricks to keep myself motivated and going especially during this transition period between homes. However, truly, the best part is that I have been able to use a lot of her quotes and techniques to support my friends.

There are times when I just do not know how to best support people when they need a loving word or encouragement as I never want to sound cliché, but also want to offer adequate love. In these times, having an arsenal of quotes or techniques to offer is so helpful. Maybe this is the ‘coach’ in me now, but wow has this book been helpful lately (or at least I hope so!).

To sum up, I definitely recommend this book as a read even if it does not all seem relevant to you. There’s just lots of good stuff in it to make one think.

~T 😀

PS I realized the other day that I have gone delinquent on my book reviews, so have a long list in my drafts of books I have read over the past year or so. Therefore, I shall be catching up and interspersing posts with my literary escapes! <3

Performing at Your Peak

 Going Mental  No Responses »
May 302016
 

WPPLogo

This weekend is a bit of a blur, I must admit, as we were overly gluttonous and indulgent with food and drink due to brunches and events. However, Saturday was a bit of a recovery day where I spent it at this summit.

If you know me at all, you know that I am absolutely crap at networking and am generally anti-group self-help activities. However, M was working at the event and got comp tickets, so my medium desire to go was fulfilled – I mean if it is free… :P!

I told myself I would give it a good honest go until the first coffee break. If I did not like it, then Starbucks was nearby and the hotel where the event was held is nice to hang out in.

Surprisingly, I stayed almost the entire day. I even met a few new people! There were guest speakers who were given 30 minutes to share an aspect of the 8 peaks – career, financial, social, etc. The moderator was excellent at the time-keeping as well as maintaining motivation for the event. It was extremely well-organized and in general quite fun. While we did leave before the personal reflection and group drum beating at the end, overall I felt refreshed again.

I also determined to make more of an attempt to network and get myself out there. I need to change my mindset and be open to new possibilities of making friends and contacts. Until now I have always met most of my friends through work. However, I am now in the transition period with no job or easy way to meet people; I will need to get clients and; therefore, make a different set of friends. So, it is going to be a new challenge for me, but as long as I am open and willing it should be painless. 🙂 (I hope!)

It is always seems to be the unexpected events that arise that give us the most benefit and offer big shifts. I am very glad for having been able to go to this event and am looking forward to the 3rd summit where my company name is going to be proudly represented! (Gotta have goals!!!!) 😉

~T 😀

 

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