Creative Meanderings

In my post about goals/resolutions for this year, I said that I was about focus, stillness and simplifying. I also add – building. This year is about honing myself and my skills.

For years, I was an English language educator. It was a profession that I reluctantly embraced as a means to an end. The end being that it afforded me the luxury and salary to travel, which had, surprisingly, become a passion. I say surprisingly because, believe it or not, I had never intended to live or work outside of the USA when I was in high school. The thought of being away from family and out of my comfort zone was extremely frightening to me then. However, I got the travel bug and wanderlust took over my reason for breathing throughout most of my first career.

Then, I moved out of language education into yoga and meditation. Whenever I decide to do something, I always want to make sure that I am paper qualified as my traditionally-trained academic brain considers this a reasonable (and easy to me) way to let people know that I have some idea of what I’m talking about. Probably, my own cynical and skeptical brain wants to avoid the questions I challenge towards others – Why should I listen to you?.

Unfortunately, just as I was getting some traction in the yoga space, we moved countries and I returned to the language education field as it was easier to find stable work in it. I maintained my own practice and stayed up on the space, but remained dormant. Meanwhile, my desire to teach waned. I felt a burnout and disappointment of people who say they want to learn or improve themselves, yet don’t – through whatever excuses they create.

So, when we moved to Italy and began to settle in our home, I waved off any suggestions that I should teach yoga or meditation. Although I did a little teaching for friends in France during COVID, because it was something for all of us to do, I was not interested in giving out my energy in this way.

In fact, I felt like I just didn’t have the capacity or energy to spare for it.

However, I remembered the words quoted during my yoga teaching:

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

This quote is attributed to Buddha, Tao Te Ching or other philosophers. Whomever it was that said it, doesn’t matter to me. Mostly, I’m concerned with its accuracy.

When some friends suggested that I teach, I honestly (perhaps too much so, as is my tendency) replied that if they organized it, I would show up. Apparently, it sounded harsh. Perhaps, my tone was not as intended; or perhaps it was exactly as I preferred. Who knows?

Then, something happened.

I believe in the rule of three. If someone says something along the same vein as someone else and this occurs three times, I feel as if it should be taken to heart. Often, unfortunate events occur in threes – usually minor things that cause annoyances. Sometimes, the death of famous people run in threes as well. So, with this belief in my head, I got the third nudge that perhaps I should teach yoga and mindfulness.

To add even more emphasis, I decided to start a two-year Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certification program as well, which requires me to do some teaching.

After my first yoga and breath workshop, feedback came with words of encouragement. Included in this was a statement that someone felt it was as if I was called or meant to be a teacher of this topic. Even if it is just one person saying it, I consider the words. As I contemplate whether or not to continue after the initial two months is up, I wonder if it is part of my purpose in life.

I am a beacon of light that shines as inspiration for others to ignite their own lights to guide others.

This is my purpose statement that I have refined lately. Whether or not I am “called” to be a teacher does not really concern me. Whether or not I am serving as a beacon of light for others to raise their vibrations and find their own sparks as a way of becoming their greatest selves, well, that matters to me.

So, I don’t know yet if all of this teaching will continue into March or April and beyond. If it does, I’ll be happy. If it doesn’t, I’ll be happy, too. We shall just see how my cup drains and fills through the experience, then assessment will follow.

Stay tuned!

~T