95:5

When people drink tequila and beer, the conversations can turn into something interesting. It became the theme of my “Almost 40 Birthday Party” which was celebrated on Cinco de Mayo. The reference was for the percentage that men should satisfy their women. I will leave it at that.

However, like I do with just about everything, I began thinking – on this ratio.

Recently, I had a conversation regarding methods of communication in relation to the ending of a friendship because of an email I sent. Without going into details, I understood that my email would have consequences; however, I did not expect the extremity of the response. I was told that it was my “fault” for choosing to communicate in that way over in-person.

Apparently, when someone chooses to communicate in writing, it is not acceptable because 95% of the population prefers to speak. While I think that there are actually more people who would be happier to write their feelings and thoughts, we will say there are only 5% of us for sake of argument. The truth is that I would be more than content to write all the time to express myself, but often conform to be socially ‘normal’. However, there are times when I really need to express via writing.

The reason I write over speaking sometimes is because I am slow to think and process. Also, people who are louder or faster than me tend to speak over me rather than stop to listen to what I have to say. Therefore, when I feel the need to express clearly and openly ensuring that I am heard, I write.

While I feel I am respecting those who prefer to speak by adjusting my form of communication, I also feel that there should be mutual respect given to me when I choose to express myself in MY preferred form even if it is not in the way of the majority. Therefore, why should I be the one who takes the blame for expressing myself and be held responsible for the response of another who might not like what I said just because I chose to write it rather than speak it first? I always offer the opportunity for people to speak with me about what I have written out of respect for their preference to speak….

Although I should be used to being in the 5% – minority, female, adoptee, etc., I will no longer allow others to disrespect me because it is not the ‘norm’ according to the 95%. Majority does not always rule – just remember the lemmings – I will not blindly jump off a cliff just because everyone else is….

~T