95:5

When people drink tequila and beer, the conversations can turn into something interesting. 😛 It became the theme of my “Almost 40 Birthday Party” which was celebrated on Cinco de Mayo. The reference was for the percentage that men should satisfy their women. I will leave it at that.

However, like I do with just about everything, I began thinking – on this ratio.

Recently, I had a conversation regarding methods of communication in relation to the ending of a friendship because of an email I sent. Without going into details, I understood that my email would have consequences; however, I did not expect the extremity of the response. I was told that it was my “fault” for choosing to communicate in that way over in-person.

Apparently, when someone chooses to communicate in writing, it is not acceptable because 95% of the population prefers to speak. While I think that there are actually more people who would be happier to write their feelings and thoughts, we will say there are only 5% of us for sake of argument. The truth is that I would be more than content to write all the time to express myself, but often conform to be socially ‘normal’. However, there are times when I really need to express via writing.

The reason I write over speaking sometimes is because I am slow to think and process. Also, people who are louder or faster than me tend to speak over me rather than stop to listen to what I have to say. Therefore, when I feel the need to express clearly and openly ensuring that I am heard, I write.

While I feel I am respecting those who prefer to speak by adjusting my form of communication, I also feel that there should be mutual respect given to me when I choose to express myself in MY preferred form even if it is not in the way of the majority. Therefore, why should I be the one who takes the blame for expressing myself and be held responsible for the response of another who might not like what I said just because I chose to write it rather than speak it first? I always offer the opportunity for people to speak with me about what I have written out of respect for their preference to speak….

Although I should be used to being in the 5% – minority, female, adoptee, etc., I will no longer allow others to disrespect me because it is not the ‘norm’ according to the 95%. Majority does not always rule – just remember the lemmings – I will not blindly jump off a cliff just because everyone else is….

~T 😀