These goals are getting a bit easier in topics now – at least for me. Phew! π
2016 presented a number of challenges regarding friendships and tested my introverted nature regarding relationships.
One of the best ways to weed out your friends is to have an expensive wedding π°π½π. All kidding aside, many of our “friends” were proven not to be so by not bothering to show up even when they RSVPd or never RSVPing at all. Some even shared that they couldn’t attend but for reasons that we felt were not good enough to warrant not making an effort to attend our special day when we were supposedly good friends. So that was one way of defining friendships.
I lost two friends this year to drama and overreactions. One is the spouse of the other so by default we are no longer friends. Both of these people I let into my heart and inner circle, which is a big deal for me. Losing them was a painful process and there are times when I still ache for their friendships. However, truth hurts and the truth is that we were probably never really friends. Or at least not friends as I define them.
Once someone described me as like a dog. In other words, I am loyal and committed to those I call friends because there are not many that I let in fully. When I do, it is for life and I will defend them with fierceness – which I did many times for these two. Yet, it was clearly not reciprocated nor valued; therefore, it is best that we are no longer in each other’s lives.
What it has done, unfortunately, is to cause a divide and another weeding out of those who were mutual friends. Much like in a divorce – some people take sides, others distance themselves and others continue on being friends as before.
This experience has also been a bit of a blessing because with the thinning out of friends, or so-called ones, I made room for new ones to enter in.
Also, with my change of work, I have been forced to branch out and make new friends through networking and activities.
Now I have golf friends, AWN friends, walking/running friends, etc. Although these friendships are newly forged, I am excited to build upon them.
As I posted a while ago, I am continuing to find my tribe. So, although in an ideal world I would have my BFF, close friends, new friends and family all in one place, the life of an expat is not conducive to this as a reality. Therefore, thanks to blogging, Facebooking, Skyping and any other form of messaging I can stay up with my friends near and far.
So on to the goals – hard to do quarterly goals so will just list.
*Making sure I see my BFF at least once this year somewhere – fingers crossed for in Japan
*Organizing regular meet ups with friends whom I want to maintain a strong relationship with while we are still here.
*Making sure I see my parents at least once or maybe twice this year.
*Trying again to connect better with my brother.
*Really being selective of my time and energy on people who add to my life and positivity without draining me nor taking advantage of me nor taking me for granted.
So these are my relationships goals as it relates to family and friends. I think I do fairly well with my family aside from my brother so I will try more there. π
Tomorrow is 5. Family, so may be a bit shorter. Until then!
~T π
