Well, M and I had a short but pointed chat yesterday and it has been decided that I need to look for work.
Basically, he will continue to do what he is doing with the hopes that something will work out sooner than later.
In the meantime, I will be looking for returning to teaching full-time anywhere, somewhere in the world.
The reality is that we need a regular paycheck coming in to ensure that we have no more stresses about paying rent, bills, etc. We still owe people money and neither of us like that. It has been over a year now and it just has not worked.
M takes full responsibility for the situation, but I never blame him for it. The truth is that we gave it a go with me not working and the situation is just not for us at this point in time. I am a little bit sad about it, but at the same time I am also glad to have a step forward.
Before, I felt as if I was stuck. I wanted to be respectful of his efforts and desire to not have us in different places. However, the time has come and while he may feel a bit defeated by the reality; the truth is that we are in a partnership. It is not for just one person to carry the weight and if the other can do more, then it needs to be done.
So, I shall be putting my CV out there again and seeing what comes up. I do believe that the Universe and God will provide what is best – just have to look for the best door of opportunity to open up and go through. π
~T π
